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Anger problems

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alish View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 April 2013 at 2:38pm
Salam.
I am new to this forum and would love some feedback/advice please...
 
My problem is I cant control my anger..to the point its effecting my relationship with my family.. I try my best to cool down but even the littlest thing sets me off to the point I hurt other people and they hurt me back...
 
i feel sooo miserable although I know I am lucky with what I have been blessed with in this life..ie good health, nice home, healthy kids..
 
I am grateful to Allah swt...so why am I not happy?? Is it because recently I have had a baby ...?
 
I dont know..I feel as if Im going mad..nothing makes me happy..I just want to be left alone...cant be bothered with people although I do carry on with daily tasks like looking after the children, housework, taking kids to masjid and back, shopping and browsing on the net..
 
Sorry Im rambling on but Im getting really depressed now....PLS HELP!
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Caringheart View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Caringheart Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2013 at 12:08am
Greetings alish,

Are you familiar with postpartum depression.  It can happen due to large hormone fluctuations after giving birth.  If I can remember that far back I think perhaps it is more likely after the birth of a son due to the difference in hormones?  Have you spoken with your doctor?
I used to have a lot of anger too.  Anger is usually the product of hurt.  I learned that when people have pain they either cry or lash out with anger.  I was raised to be strong, which translated into not crying, so my pain usually came out as anger.  Weekly counseling helped greatly, especially during the years when I was raising my children.  Once I had come to understand some things and learned acceptance my anger abated.  Looking to God and making up my mind to accept and serve His will changed my life.
Many blessings to you, may God bring you peace,
Caringheart
Let us seek Truth together
Blessed be God forever
"I believe in Jesus as I believe in the sun... not because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else.: - C.S.Lewis
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Caringheart Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2013 at 12:18am
I just saw this thread too;
http://www.islamicity.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=25201

and it made me remember...
One of the things that helped me alot, that I learned to do through counseling... was keeping a journal...
Write your thoughts, your joys, your dreams, your hurts, your prayers... cry out to God in writing... it really helps.  Put down your requests to God, and your hopes, in writing.  It helps release the pain and bring perspective.  I have also learned each day to count my blessings instead of my sorrows.  When you turn your thoughts to good things you find much less reason to be angry.  Acceptance is a huge part of it, and a huge part of growing in life, and that is what life is about... growing towards God. :-)
Salaam and blessings to you.

Sorry, it's not uncommon for me to have alot to say.  My heart goes out to hurting people. Heart


Edited by Caringheart - 25 April 2013 at 12:18am
Let us seek Truth together
Blessed be God forever
"I believe in Jesus as I believe in the sun... not because I see it, but because by it, I see everything else.: - C.S.Lewis
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nothing View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nothing Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 April 2013 at 3:14pm
Originally posted by alish alish wrote:

Salam.
I am new to this forum and would love some feedback/advice please...
 
My problem is I cant control my anger..

Well I read in an article about young rich worker in Germany who got stress from his work so often. He lived about 40 minutes drive through that famous freeway the Autobahn. So he bought a lamborgini. So every time he got p----d off he put his foot on the floor and off he went, took him 15 minutes instead of 40, and his stress and anger was left somewhere in the freeway. So you may want to try Lamborgini? No? You are too poor for Lambor? poor!

Ok let's try option B, as all option must be on the table.

Again there was another German, poor fella who was flooded with one anger to the next. He found the remedy though - by screaming!!. We are talking about loud screaming here, not singing mind you. So the newly distressed neighbours called the cops, and they took him to the court and slugged him with fine for noise pollution. Than long time after that, in one night he was arrested again because the campers complained they could not find peace by that screaming maniac - in the forest!!. Poor fella, he just wanna scream. So what do you reckon, is screaming good enough for you? no?

Ok let's see plan C as all option must be on the table.

I advice you to do push up 30 times and 30 situps as soon as the anger knock on the door. Ok it does not cost you like Lamborgini nor need to travel to the forest, all done right there right away. So from now on if you think the whole world is suck than it's time for push up and sit up, no ifs no buts. As the wise word states: Everything has it's price. And hey, it will keep you fit for the next fight.

If that is still not good enough we need to go to option D, as all options are on the table.

But lets other posters to do that on the table options.

Anyway happy up pushing.Big%20smile


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Nausheen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nausheen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 June 2013 at 10:12pm
Recommended reading:

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51i4d-xoSiL._SY346_PJlook-inside-v2,TopRight,1,0_SH20_.jpg

When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within
by Matthew McKay, Peter D. Rogers , Judith McKay (Author)
<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa

Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena

wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
[/COLOR]
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Nausheen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nausheen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 June 2013 at 10:19pm
I've not heard of postpartum blues translated into anger, tho they cause a lot of unnecessary crying.

Here in Japan a doctor would usually prescribe a herbal medicine [kampo] which would otherwise not affect lactation. Am not sure how they deal with this in your country - nevertheless it goes away as the hormone levels come to normal.

If you have a general anger problem check the title above, its very non-judgmental self-help book.

Liked the suggestion of keeping a journal.


<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa

Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena

wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
[/COLOR]
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twix444 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote twix444 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 December 2013 at 12:15pm
Assalamalaikum,
Irritability,anger,mood swings are common after delivery.it happens with most of women :)you must take help from someone in handling your daily chores,it is really tiring to look after young children,i don't hav children, i hav health issues yet i don't get angry :) you should be thankful to Allah (s.w.t) for providing with most things in life :)you have family so try to thank God there are ppl around you to take care..n above all Allah(s.w.t) is taking care of his creation :) just relax :)
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