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A mixup in my family

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YOUNG JEEZY View Drop Down
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    Posted: 29 September 2005 at 3:12pm

Whats up guys I hope this is the right section. Let me start off and thank-you off hand for anybody to help me...

It started off my father leaving to Jordan to see his father who was sick but when he wanted to return they wouldn't grant him a green-card. So after 5 years of trying he gets a new fiance and my mother decides to divorce my father. He doesn't sign the papers although he did have another wife or wife soon to be.

So for 14 years I havent seen have let me be more specific i saw him 6 years ago for at most 1 hour. He has never paid child support non of that stuff and he always b/s'd about him doing this and that and you know making stuff up to a kid

When i first started seeing him again a few months ago i told my so-called cousin that their gonna try to convert me to "their religion" he said don't worry about it. So whatever everyone is being all nice to me you know heres this "hamad" cause thats what my father put my name as in the birth certificate although luckly my mother changed it.

He first takes me like mabye 2 months later into the Mosque..yeah im not Muslim...i didn't know one thing about the religion except you know the stuff you know about each religion such as that they celebrated Ramadan women had to be covered. I was babtised, conformed and i had my Communion in church im not way shape or form Muslim

My father starts off with this corny sh*t that yes you are Muslim and it was a subliminal shot taht your not catholic cause the catholic religon is fake bla bla bla....not like that but like you know your father is muslim so you should be too and this religion tells you how to live life.

Why is he doing this sh*t i was raised as a Catholic i try to be a good person you know i pray every night, it seems that the people their like his side of the family just look down on me but not really i get that urky feeling and my father says tell my friends when they ask im Muslim, its a disgrace to me when u say ur Catholic...I obviously dont take his stupid sh*t and i just rephrase his question to a what if situation...

Its really gay like my cousins from my fathers side dont know jack sh*t about religion and they say "duhhhr you have to pray to Jesus..." no wtf you pray staright to God....Jesus is God's son no matter how much you hate it its true...he gave Mary the privalage of having a child without having sex, which thanks to him Jesus was born so its his child not that hard to grasp a simple topic like that..

And they also argue saying no no all the terrorists are Haram then they switch saying if the Jews killed ur family in front of u what would u do and they dont know what to do....so that means their are a lot of bad people...in hell for takin MAD innocent lives....and theeeeeeeeeen im watchin their arabic satelite sh*t they got and i hear in english in palestine their families get 20-30 grand for blowing themselves up....w/e

I dont agree with parts of the muslim religion. ill get into that later but i jsut cant understand why after not being with me for 14 years he claims i should be muslim...everyone in my house is catholic my sister my mom and my dad or step dad but hes my dad....what i should be muslim i didnt even no hes muslim

 

w/e i dont know what to tell my dad he is slowly stoppin cause i told him to shut his ass up and when he becomes a true muslim well talk and i dont really have time for this religion argument and all this other non sence of arguing cause i got alot more importnat stuff to worry about such as college etc etc

 

oh yeah sorry for the vulger language haha when i get mad i just type fast and curse

aite 1

...hi...
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Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 September 2005 at 4:55am
You already told your dad what to do  and it seems to be working as you said he's slowly stopping. Just keep telling him straight that you choose to be Catholic.  
~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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AhmadJoyia View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AhmadJoyia Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 September 2005 at 9:25am

Hi Young Jezzy

Here is what I think when you ask

Quote .........but i jsut cant understand why after not being with me for 14 years he claims i should be muslim...everyone in my house is catholic my sister my mom and my dad or step dad but hes my dad....what i should be muslim i didnt even no hes muslim

To begin with, I think you are very right to push your father off. This is esecially true when one may ask as where was he or his religion when you (along with your family) needed him?

Nevertheless, since he is your father, one must respect for parents, not that he is a Muslim, but simply because he is your father; after all. Respect doesn't necessarily mean that one has to obey him, but to treat him politely but firmly. If you don't want to be Muslim, fine, no complusion in Islam, however, tell this fact in such a way that it doesn't become impolite. How can he expect someone to be a Muslim where as his own actions are everything but of Islam. This is what I can share with you at the moment. However, if you want to know more on Islam stay on this forum with more and more questions that you can think of. Hopefully, if nothing else, you would be more confident in making decision about your faith. May God, the same God to whom Jesus also used to pray, be with you and your family. Amen.

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herjihad View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote herjihad Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 September 2005 at 10:23am

Bismillah,

Young,

I'm sorry you had such a hard time with your dad.  When a parent disrespects you and has never really taken care of you, how are they a parent?  I think being around such a foolish, lazy man can only cause you pain.

Stern?  He should pay your mom back child support.  How's that for stern?  He could make payments...  But how is he going to be the father that you needed as a child?  He's not!  Maybe in the Prophet Muhammad's, pbuh, time dad's just naturally fed, clothed, and guided their kids.  But that's not happening a lot now.

So the question for you Brother Ahmad is:  Please think about this.  Do you really think that this hypocritical man has any rights over this young man?  And do you realize how painful it is emotionally to deal with a parent who has disregarded and neglected you? 

I think you should protect yourself from emotional damage, Young, whatever that takes for you.  And if you have questions about Islaam, ask Brother Ahmad or others like him on this forum.  Your dad isn't a good source of knowledge.



Edited by herjihad
Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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YOUNG JEEZY View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote YOUNG JEEZY Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 September 2005 at 12:26pm

Thanks alot guys. I really appreciate your feeback. Everybody around me says the same things you guys said...except his family.

Let me ask you...I didn't want to go to the Mosque..it's just a weird experience for me I wasn't mentally set for going to a new place of religion and I really don't go to much to church I just pray so why should i go to the mosque? But my dad basically forced me to go and I had to go through the whole routine. Don't you guys think he is wrong and that that is "haram"?

When I asked him why he wasn't with me he said "oh oh your mom said not to interfere with your life not to mix up your emotion becasue you were to young" when I said why didn't you pay child support he says cause your mom never asked...first off doesnt the money go for me not her...ha...thats ignornat. And lastly he ate pork he was never religious, he drank gambled basically had a finger to the world and now he wants me to be Muslim w/o him being one...NO WAY!

Lastly he expects me to call his kids with another wife he had my brothers and sisters get the hell outta here with that b/s. Their nothing by my fathers kids to them...a man basically just gives his sperm a women delivers a baby the only true sister I have is from my mother even though its from another marrige.

Thanks for all your help guys

Salam?? haha

...hi...
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firewall View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote firewall Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 September 2005 at 5:38pm


Edited by firewall
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Abeer23 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Abeer23 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 October 2005 at 3:41am

Young,

Greetings.  I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience.   Not every muslim fully practices the religion.  Not every muslim performs his/her obligations set forth by Allah s.w.t.   And no person is perfect.  This is why we have two angels to keep record of all our deeds, good and bad.  This is why there will be a day of judgement wherein Allah will judge us according to our deeds.  And this is why Allah created heaven and hell.

I'm sorry that your father wasn't and isn't a good example for you.  But I want you to try and leave his judgement to Allah.   Ask Allah to show him his errors and bring him back to the straight path (as he is surely far from it right now). 

Try to seperate your feellings for your father and your quest for religion.  Don't accept or reject Islam on his account.  Your faith is between you and your creator.   Your  belief  or disbelief in Islam will not hurt, harm or help your father in the least. 

Your experience with your father is one of the many trials that Allah will test you with in life.  Trust me, we've all been tested and no one has the "perfect life."  Throughout all of lifes's test try to  remain obedient to Allah, you'll get through them a lot faster. 

Lastly, I can understand that you're angry with your father and you have every right to be, BUT Allah tells us to be kind to our parents.  Even if you don't like your father, you still must be respectful.  Not because you fear him but because you fear your creator, and not because you love him, but because you love your creator.

Peace bro, you're in my prayers

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Angel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2005 at 9:22pm
Originally posted by YOUNG JEEZY YOUNG JEEZY wrote:

Let me ask you...I didn't want to go to the Mosque..it's just a weird experience for me I wasn't mentally set for going to a new place of religion and I really don't go to much to church I just pray so why should i go to the mosque? But my dad basically forced me to go and I had to go through the whole routine. Don't you guys think he is wrong and that that is "haram"?

yes it is wrong.

~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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