Divorce |
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Abu Loren
Senior Member Joined: 29 June 2012 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1646 |
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Posted: 30 October 2012 at 2:52am |
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As'alaamu Alaikkum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa BarakatuhuThe reason for this thread is to discern what people feel about the issue of divorce in societies today. Not very long ago divorce was frowned upon and people who divorced were thought of as outcasts in society and some were mariginalised and pitied. However, the divorce rate of today is astronomical throughout the world, transcending religion, culture and ethinicity.
In Islam divorce is approved and granted religiously and culturally, so what I've found out is that there is a high percentage of divorce rate within Muslims. If I can give an example of divorce in India and Pakistan, the divorce rate is very high in Pakistan than in India. Of course, Pakistan is an Islamic country and India has a mixture of religions and cultures within. In India it is still frowned upon if people decide to divorce, this is mainly in the Hindu and Christian cultures. In the West, the divorce rate is soaring for varying reasons. I remember not long ago the mention of divorce was quiet shameful for a couple living in the West, but over time divorce rate increased and became the 'norm.' Nowadays if a man has grown tired of his wife because of her looks or she has put on extra pounds of flesh, all he has to do is look for a younger and prettier wife. The answer to the question of divorce is pretty obvious but I want members here to have an input into the reason they think divorce is becoming popular. If divorce was prohibited religiously, morally and culturally would there be less instances of divorce tthroughout the world? Salaam
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Interesting theory of yours. Any stats to support this? |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Matt Browne
Senior Member Male Joined: 19 April 2010 Location: Germany Status: Offline Points: 937 |
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It is much easier for a Muslim man to get a divorce, if religion sets the rules (talaq i.e. 9 words and that's it). In the West, the looking for a young trophy wife is a stereotype, because when celebrities do it and can afford it, it gets media attention.
There are numerous reasons for increasing divorce rates: stress, pressure, selfishness, lack of conflict management skills, declining peer pressure not to divorce and so forth. To me personally, the number one reason is increasing perfectionism. People foolishly expect perfect weddings and perfect partners. Instead people have to learn to live with an imperfect partner. Accepting imperfection is the key to a lasting marriage. Yes, if divorce was prohibited religiously, morally and culturally there would be lower divorce rates. Check out the history of Catholic countries such as Ireland. But this can be problematic. What if the husband is a tyrant? Edited by Matt Browne - 30 October 2012 at 7:32am |
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A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt |
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Matt Browne
Senior Member Male Joined: 19 April 2010 Location: Germany Status: Offline Points: 937 |
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I searched for worldwide statistics of divorce rates, but couldn't find a list with all countries. This one lists the top 34
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate |
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A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt |
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abuayisha
Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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Well, looks like some are reconciling after divorce...maybe it wasn't so bad after all.
Turns out that divorce may not be "the end" for many couples after all. According to one new study, a significant
number of divorcing parents were
open to saving their marriage and would even try professional reconciliation services -- despite having
already filed for divorce. The study's conclusions lay the groundwork for a legislative proposal aimed to reduce the number of "unnecessary" divorces in the U.S. "The Second Chances Act," published Friday by the Institute of American Values (a conservative organization designed to "strengthen families"), proposes a one-year waiting period for divorce and mandatory education about reconciliation for couples with minor children. We asked William J. Doherty,
a family social science professor at the University of Minnesota and the
study's lead researcher, to help us get a better understanding of these
findings. Edited by abuayisha - 30 October 2012 at 8:07am |
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nothing
Senior Member Joined: 09 November 2008 Location: Andorra Status: Offline Points: 416 |
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I think it would but it would be very torturous life. Why would I, or any of us stay together with the hated one, because religion or somebody's opinion or the surrounding custom forbids the separation? In many cases separation is blessing for us, and I found it so. Just like death which is the great blessing for us, which most of us feared by it. The bulk majority of reason in divorce cases are the third party involvement: friends, neighbors, cousins, uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters, parents, children and who else. Another reason is controlling. The husband states that his wife must stays home, that is control. The wife insist in handling the finance, another method of control. You know some people living in this world by instruction of somebody else. Commonsense sound like an abnormality. Another reason is boring face. For an example a couple been married for 30 or more years and all this time they busy with their own works whatever that is. So the time for retirement finally arrived, and what happen? They get bored seeing their beloved partner for all sudden always in the front of their noses every minute. A day feel like a century, because they don't know what to do with their time. Economic reason is distant no:4. |
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Abu Loren
Senior Member Joined: 29 June 2012 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1646 |
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As'alaamu Alaikkum I cannot provide any stats, however if you trawl through the internet there are many articles which in fact do state that there are a significant higher rate of divorce in Pakistan than in India per capita. It is also true that the subject of divorce is still taboo in India even in the 21st century.
Edited by Abu Loren - 31 October 2012 at 12:28am |
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Abu Loren
Senior Member Joined: 29 June 2012 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1646 |
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Interesting comment Mr. nothing. When you look at the examples of arranged marriages in India, for example, you see that people do stay together till death even if they are unhappy. Now you can argue that it is a torurous life for the couple concerned, on the other hand you have to admire them for staying together even if unhappily. Who knows the answers? May be this is one of the reasons why Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala has granted Muslims to divorce. Allahu Alum!
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