IslamiCity.org Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > Culture & Community > Groups – Men (Brothers)
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Interracial relationships
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login


Interracial relationships

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 13>
Author
Message
Israfil View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member


Joined: 08 September 2003
Status: Offline
Points: 3984
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Interracial relationships
    Posted: 21 September 2005 at 10:33am

As'Salaamu Alaikum brothers,

I'm sure those of you who have seen my post regarding this issue (as well as the moderators) are probably tired of me bringing this up, but I have to say that this issue needs to be widely address. The lack of addressing this issue also says a lot about our Ummah (Muslim community). Under the guidance of Allah we are united under one single principle. Those in which assist in forming those principles are those keyelements that we need to retain one of which the prophet Muhammad spoke before his death was doing good deeds, and that, that is the determinant for the herefater.

He aslo stated that no white (person) is better than a black (person) and no black (person) is better than a white (person) only through good deeds. Now unfortunately centuries later there are still racial tensions in our community. In regards to choosing a mate a lot of cultures mostly Eastern and South asian culture tend to instill this cultural endogamy upon their children. If a daughter decides to marry a white man even if he shares the same faith I've seen that has become a problem. The question is why?

The usual response I get is: Well its called cultural compatibility. How can such an individual marry another from a different culture if he doesn't understand it? It wouldn't work out.

My response: How do you know? If the daughter chooses to marry outside the culture then its her choice and ultimately her decision. If the individual pleases her and respects her then why does culture in that instance matter? Isn't kind deeds and respect for our wives a rule in which the prophets addressed in Hadeeth? Didn't Allah say that we all were created in various forms and colors to know each other? Did he not say we are all from one single soul?

There is no refutation to what I say except ones ignorance of scripture and truth, and therefore we will still live in denial that racism doesn't exist in the Muslim community. Racism does exist in the Islamic community and what is funny is that we look at western society and complain, but the one thing I do respect is that western society does address the racism issue and event hough it still exist within that society it is still addressed by those men and women to address them unlike some of us within our community.

One of the things the prophet Jesus (AS) said in the Bible that I remember was "How can you take the needle out of your brothers eye when the needle is in your own eye?" translation: Why focus on one issue if you have an issue of your own?

Sound familiar?

 

 

Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Israfil View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member


Joined: 08 September 2003
Status: Offline
Points: 3984
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 September 2005 at 1:32pm
Where are those individuals (men and women) who are so
animated about the right sof women and the right of men and
the rights of people? I don't think I've made one single
difference in what I said here what a waste.
Back to Top
Jenni View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 10 June 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 705
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 September 2005 at 2:34pm
Israfil, I agree with you and I am in Interracial marriage. My husband is southasian and I am caucasion. He is fairly darkskinned and I am very white with blond hair and blue eyes.We have one child who is darker complected and one who is very fair with dark blond hair. I just said to a friend yesterday who southasain that I would rather my daughter marry anyone, black, white, mexican, anyone who is a really humble muslim and loves children and will adore my daughter. I don't care if he is a teacher or a mechanic or whatever, just as long as he is stable and hard working and has goals. I hope more muslims will have this attitude, and all that they say that oh according to Islam we are all equal, what a great religon, well from most people it is just hot air, they don't mean it a bit... Peace
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
Back to Top
Israfil View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member


Joined: 08 September 2003
Status: Offline
Points: 3984
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 September 2005 at 5:32pm
sister Jenni I agree, but you have to understand that this issue
has taken a backseat in the world. Many Muslims here on
Islamicity and abroad perhaps do not care as much about this
issue as for example the issue on how Muslim immigrants are
viewed in America. The latter would take more of a forefront in
the Muslim world than the interreligious issues in the Muslim
community. yes you have Muslims that will acknowledge the
existence of racism within the Muslim community but its only an
acknowledgement and not an active portion of awareness in
our lives.

Sister jenni what you did is the first step in the eradication of
racism in our community. I wish this would be more of a bigger
issue in our community. I would hope we can do some
awareness programs and the values of both the Islamic identity
and the individual cultural identity. i would also hope that
through that Muslims not only can identity their culture with
other Muslims Islamcally, but as well as learn from other
Muslims culturally.
Back to Top
Jenni View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 10 June 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 705
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jenni Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 September 2005 at 8:14pm
Israfil, I think you might find it interesting that in Muslim countries like Pakistan, Iran and even Arab countries that the more white you are the more attractive you are considered to be. It is much harder for example in Pakistan for  a girl or even a guy to get married to someone if they are very dark complected. And if you have a child that is very dark people will comment, or poor child they are so black. The whole thing makes me sick, a woman could be totally beautiful but if her complection is dark, most wouldn't notice it. It just shows you sad thier culture is and thier love of white skin causes them to be so shallow. Things are changing a little, very slowly. Inshalla people will wake up and know that this discrimination is a sin, most people in the world aren't white, I don't know why some who are not whish they were, so sad... Peace
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
Back to Top
abuayisha View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member


Joined: 05 October 1999
Status: Offline
Points: 4911
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 September 2005 at 9:52pm

Most if not all of us understand and acknowledge that racial problems exist not only in the larger society, but also with adherents of our faith.  But, having said that, we all have the right to marry those who are pleasing and desirable. 

 

What about marriage to an overweight person, poor person, uneducated, handicapped, tall, short…  It is so wrong that a father would desire that his daughter marry one from her own country, having an equal educational and financial background?  I believe the more couples have in common will increase the level of success in their marriage.

 

If white skin, blonde hair and blue eyes were the qualities that are attractive, why would someone want to marry the opposite?  

 

Back to Top
Israfil View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member


Joined: 08 September 2003
Status: Offline
Points: 3984
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Israfil Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 September 2005 at 9:11pm

Glad you brought that up!

The problem here is what you mentioned "The father" first and foremost one of the things about Western society is that family is family and marriage is marriage there is no in between. My family is not involved in who I marry to the extent that they make decisions for me. If I love someone who is "over weight" or has blond hair and blue eyes that is of my own concern, not theirs. What makes this a "problem" is that certain culture instill these so-called values in their children especially if they're Muslim.

For example why when a father discusses these issues with their child would say "Marry this Pakistani" and not this Black man for the Pakistanis has more in common with you than the black man. Now to me that doesn't make sense. Without knowing the other person he automatically suggest marriage with the pakistani. Why? because he's black and assumes that this individual doesn't speak the language? Suppose that this person has lived in Pakistan and is well aware of the language and culture? There are so many loop holes.

There is nothing wrong with a person liking another who they desire. What becomes a problem and contradictory to the teachings of Islam is that cultural preference is more important than the good intentions. Not everyone from a Middle Eastern or of South Asian culture believes in this. I believe what makes things "common" to people are not just culture but individual interest and the good intentions of another not the cultural affiliation. To me this is the problem with our community. Now if you can find a justification for this then I'd like to see it abu!

Also adding to this the "more you have in common" stuff. That isn't always true bro ever heard of opposites attract? the reason Arab girls and Pakistani girls marry outside their culture here in the U.S is because the American culture is so different. A lot of women find that too much similarity is boring hence you dont learn from others I tend to find this quite true.



Edited by Israfil
Back to Top
abuayisha View Drop Down
Senior Member
Senior  Member


Joined: 05 October 1999
Status: Offline
Points: 4911
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 September 2005 at 7:41am

For example why when a father discusses these issues with their child would say "Marry this Pakistani" and not this Black man for the Pakistanis has more in common with you than the black man. Now to me that doesn't make sense. Without knowing the other person he automatically suggest marriage with the pakistani. Why? because he's black and assumes that this individual doesn't speak the language? Suppose that this person has lived in Pakistan and is well aware of the language and culture? There are so many loop holes.

Brother, speaking from the heart, the problem as I see it, is that never before in the history of Islam, have we had so many Muslims choosing to live in Western societies.  You therefore have Western converts meeting Asian girls, and liking them.  The parents of these girls are concerned for their girls in these societies, and for reasons that I'm sure you would agree.  The fact that families desire for them men from their own culture makes perfect sense to me.  Likely these men know how to properly respect this girl’s family and Islamic values, something often times missing with converts.  They speak to her family concerning intentions for marriage, and not seek to have "girlfriend" type relations, so common in the West.  So, I don't blame families for being cautious concerning Western converts.

There is nothing wrong with a person liking another who they desire. What becomes a problem and contradictory to the teachings of Islam is that cultural preference is more important than the good intentions.

Well, people do not know your intentions; only you and Allah.  But, they are aware of what they see.  A free mixing society, dating, and talking on the telephone, emailing, and a host of other problems they do not wish for their daughter.  Do you really think a Pakistani father could feel proud to phone Pakistan and tell his extended family that his daughter has met this great Black guy on campus - who has "good intentions" and she is in love with him?

Not everyone from a Middle Eastern or of South Asian culture believes in this. I believe what makes things "common" to people are not just culture but individual interest and the good intentions of another not the cultural affiliation. To me this is the problem with our community. Now if you can find a justification for this then I'd like to see it abu!

My dear brother, there is life as we wish it to be, and life as it is.  Most marry from their own people.  If  you  desire a girl from another culture or race; I have no problem with that.  I simply would not like you are meeting my daughter at school or work, flirting and wooing her.  Don't come to me after you are both already in "love" seeking my permission for marriage.

Also adding to this the "more you have in common" stuff. That isn't always true bro ever heard of opposites attract? the reason Arab girls and Pakistani girls marry outside their culture here in the U.S is because the American culture is so different. A lot of women find that too much similarity is boring hence you dont learn from others I tend to find this quite true.

Well, I don't believe that "a lot" of Arab and Pakistani girls marry outside their culture, certainly a few do.  Opposites attract; nice cliché, but as you are finding, the reality on the ground is quite different - and understandably so.

 

 



Edited by abuayisha
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  123 13>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 11.10
Copyright ©2001-2017 Web Wiz Ltd.