Is a working woman to pay for anything in marriage |
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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ouch!!
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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Dear Munnim,
I have another solution for you. Islamic, and fool proof. Perhaps the best one you can find in the given situation...
Quit your job and become poor.
Now you will be entitled for Zakat.
Since your wife is a rich lady, she should be paying zakat. Ask her to give her zakat money to you.
Use this money to run the house.
In this way you will make your wife run the house with her money
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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Munnim
Newbie Joined: 19 June 2012 Status: Offline Points: 15 |
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Wow Nausheen, exactly something my wife could have said. I will do my own study and find answers, because 'my money is my money and your money is my money' doesn't suit any logical idea or religion. That is taking one argument to an extreme and disregarding the other. Can call it being selfish even.
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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Really? Are you saying that she would not have any problem feeding you, clothing you and sheltering you if you were a needy person? How could such a person be selfish?
You've got a problem with her being rich and not having to take care of her needs in presence of your income. If this is the case, you do have a serious problem.
If she did not have a job would you not be maintaining her? If you wont have a problem in that case, I don't understand why you don't want to readily do the same when she does have her own income. Islamically in your eyes her income should be non-existent to you.
If someone offered a hand in marriage to me and said he would like me to contribute to the household expenses, I would reject his offer ... to me the very idea is out-right unislamic and thus non gallant.
However if he was willing to take full responsibility and said he is going to spend 1/3rd of his monthly salary and save 2/3rd for something in future - I wouldn't have had a right to object with that.
This was what I tried to explain to you in my first post.
If you set limits on how much money is spent per month, your wife must obey ... she does not have too much say there. It is your right to run the house as per your financial plans.
For instance, you don't have to maintain her car, if its beyond your means, or beyond your financial plans. You can tell her you can pay for a public transport only. If she still wants to keep a car, she can, and maintain it herself.
If your royal wife is being extravagant with your money you have a right to put a check on that.
Your money is your money. Your wife cannot spend it out without your permission. However she has a right to be maintained by you. maintainence does not mean you've got to spend every penny every month.
However what appears from your posts is that your only problem is her pay cheque being accumulated in bank, while yours being spent on groceries, bills and mortgage. And you ask why this is not possible islamically. Basically you are questioning the law of Allah.
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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Unless he is being stingy. If a husband is miserly or stingy, the woman may take enough money to run household without husband's knowledge. She will not be sinned. (Hadith of Hinda and Abu Sufyan) I have also heard the women may spend out of the husband's wealth for charity, and he shall get a reward for it. |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Chrysalis
Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Status: Offline Points: 2033 |
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I think I'm starting to understand why your wife is so possessive about her money. |
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"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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Partly true.
Partly, because he gets the reward in the given case - true, but at the same time she gets the blame of giving it away without his permission.
be careful! :)
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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Nausheen
Moderator Group Female Joined: 10 January 2001 Status: Offline Points: 4251 |
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Would you please searcheable reference for this hadith.
Jazak Allahu khair. Edited by Nausheen - 04 July 2012 at 9:20pm |
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<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
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