A plea for help, from a very hurt son....

Wow, thank you so much, gracious brothers and sisters. I am so grateful for the turn out of guidance and knowledge, to have taken the time to help me, to help US =) You guys are simply amazing, and I'll be sure to implement all of these point the next time I approach my father.
Though more information and knowledge is always best, for me and those seeking similar help, but there is no need to exert yourselves, for you are doing this out of kindness <3
Thank you for everything, and thank you as kind Muslims.                     

Salam Alaikum Brother,

Difficult situation indeed. There is nothing in Islam that prevents a marriage based on cultural differences. The most important thing is the level of piety (which btw you cannot tell unless you've known the person for long. A lot of seemingly "pious" people are very different in their personal lives)

Here is a copy-paste from a website I came across:

With regard to the question about the Islamic legal position on cases when the parents� decision to oppose a marriage is based purely on racial, cultural, or tribal grounds and prejudice, such an opposition is baseless and invalid under Islamic law as we can clearly see in the following authenticated Hadith and sabab al-nuzul (reason/occasion of revelation):

It was reported by Qatada, Mujahid, and Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with them) that the Messenger of Allah sent a marriage proposal on behalf of his former slave Zayd Ibn al-Haritha to Zaynab bint Jahsh (who was related to the Prophet). Zaynab�s brother refused to give her away in marriage on the grounds that Zayd was a freed slave whereas his sister Zaynab was an aristocratic white-skinned Arab woman of noble lineage. The Prophet then said: �You should marry him because he is a good man and I am pleased with him.�

It reported to us by Qutayba, who said it was reported him by Abdul Hamid Ibn Sulayman, who reports from Ibn �Ajlan, who reports from Ibn Wathima al-Nasri, who reports from Abu Hurayra that he said: The messenger of Allah said: �If a marriage proposal is  made to you by a person whose character and din please you then you should accept the proposal and get them married. If you do not do so there will be fitna and corruption on earth!� In another narration is has been reported by �Aisha. (See Jami� al-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Nikah - The Book of marriage. Hadith number: 1084).

You may also wanna read:

http://muslimmatters.org/2007/04/06/thoughts-and-advice-on-interracial-marriages/

Having said that, while Islamically there are no hurdles in your marriage... practically things are not as easy as you think.

First of all, is it worth ruining your relationship with your father? If you have a good relationship and are close, and plan on having a close relation-ship after marriage - its not worth destroying your relationship. I mean, 20 years with your parents surely trumps a few years with this young lady? EVEN if they are wrong...

If you can somehow convince your father, then it could work. However make sure you can prove to him that you will be a dedicated loving son, who will honor his father's decision, but you wish he would concede because this would really make you happy. Good luck, because many Bengalis dislike Pakistanis after the 1975 war. Even if they didn't the culture is very different.

The culture part - as far as I know there are many differences in Pakistani and Bangladeshi cultures, I hope you don't find my comments stereotypical or anything - but from what I have heard, In Bangladeshi households expectations from a daughter-in-law can be very different from a Pakistani one. (As in, they are expected to be slightly more subservient etc). If that is true, then it could really effect the quality of your Pakistani wife's life.

Food, Language, Life-style habits... they can make or break a marriage. ESPECIALLY In-Laws! You may not have to deal with the in-laws as much as your wife! And it is VERY important to have in-laws that like you (as a daughter-in-law) and approve of you. I recently got married, and I can vouch that marrying into a family with a similar culture, and approving in-laws can really help. When the husband is away 6-8 hours a day, and the wife has to deal with in-laws - having a good relationship helps.

I hope that everything works out for the best for both of you insha�llah. Know that Allah has destined a spouse for the both of you - and if Allah Wills it - nothing can prevent your marriage to this young lady (even your parents). And if Allah Has not Planned for you to marry this girl, then nothing you do can change that. Best be prepared for either scenario. Think wisely, make Salaah Istikhara (Prayer for making decisions) and leave the rest to Allah and both your parents.

If the girls parents agree, maybe they could talk to your parents and reason?

As Salamu Alaikum

Grandparents ! Yes that would be great idea. Explain them very well how pious she is and about your relationship. Insha Allah, am sure they shall help you.

About religious backing ---- there's no where in Quran or sunnah that one shud not marry the one beyond culture.

Infact one of the wives of Prophet, Ummahatul momineen, Juwayriyah RA, was of a different tribe. What about Saffiyah RA ? Even she was a wife of Prophet from different tribe. Mariyah Qibtiyah was from Egypt.

As Salamu Alaikum

Why don't you try to seek help of your father#s friend or any relative, who can help you in this regard.