Am i muslim?

Hello, thank you for reading this and giving your time to help me.

I have recently started exploring islam for reasons that at first may appear unsuitable but please hear me out. I would like to know if I am suitable to call myself muslim.

My background is that I was brought up in a fairly strong Roman Catholic family. My mother and grandmother both practise the faith regularly, I was brought up to pray and to lead a good life. My father is agnostic, he beleives in right and wrong and has instilled strong morals in me, but he also beleives that religion is to a large extent man made. I beleive i have grown up to be a person of strong morals, true to myself and aware of what is right, but many religious debates have left me questioning christianity and content with my attempt to lead a life that i beleive to be good, without the need to actively worship what I understood God to be.

About a year ago, I met a muslim girl and we became close friends. Since meeting her I was mesmerised by her kind spirit, one of the things that drew us close. We both valued our friendship but she tried hard to avoid an inter-faith relationship because she knows of the laws by which she must live. But it seems we could not stop ourselves from falling in love, we share the same interests and are very close in our moral views. She told me that she should not go out with a non muslim but by this time I said that I would try to remain open minded and learn about the religion. I have never had any negative conseptions of the religion and have always been accepting of her religion as well as everything else.

I have been learning about Islam because I wanted to understand what she beleives in, anything important to her is important to me. I told her that I didnt feel the need to have a religion, that I beleive in right and wrong and that it is an intrinsic part of my life and she told me that Islam may be compatible with my beliefs. I have now read about 1/3 of the quran and am yet to read anything I cannot agree with.

I have always struggled to come to terms with beleiving in a literal God, a free-thinking being that exists in our dimension or another, but have learned to understand Him as something far simpler - a summary of everything that is good, in the past, now and the potential. With this beleif, I find it IMPOSSIBLE to deny His existence, because we see it everywhere we go and it is what makes me who I am. Denying these things would be denying the world i live in.

I am a very scientific and analytical person, and I can relate to the Quran far more than the bible. I agree that Jesus being God sounds somewhat unlikely and not inline with what I beleive God to be. I maintain concerns that much of the bible may have been ellaborated by humans or delivered in a way to make it easier to understand for those who cannot contemplate. The appeal to me of the Quaran is that, God believing or not, it is a simple manual that guides you on how to live a good life, it sets out what is right to do for those who may not have considered and therefore acts as a reminder and a prompt to think about your own actions.

Because of my scientific mind, I find it hard to beleive in miracles, angels and other supernatual phenomena - although i fully understand that sciense in no way could disprove these - sicience is based on observations. However I beleive I can relate to the messages in the Quran and use this to aid me in my ambition to lead a life that pleases others and allows me to live in peace.

In this respect I find Islam incredibly simple to understand. There are no distractions as I beleive Jesus is within the christian faith. The religion is solely focussed on good intentions.

Now my dilemma occurs here : I feel no need to 'convert' to islam to improve my way of life, I have already taken many lessons from what I have read and beleive they have improved me as a person. I am fasting this month so that I can understand what she goes through and also realise that it makes me more aware of the luxuries i live with so that I can be more grateful. I beleive my intentions are twofold, caused by my love for a muslim girl, that I want to be honest and accept her faith and secondly for my own inquisitiveness and being open to understand a new faith.

In order for us to marry, I know i must convert, I feel like i beleive in most of what I have read but my interpretations may not be as literal as most.

The most difficult rule to follow for me is around food. Like many of the laws set out in the Quaran, i beleive they were intended to guide us on how we should behave. To me, Halal food is food from animals which have been killed in a humane manner. 2000 years ago, slitting the throat was humane, the blood leaves the body to leave clean meat, free from infection and I would imagine this was done by many more people than it is today. I understand the importance of being thankful for what we eat and that we should not be greedy. Having said this, I do not understand how another mans prayer over an animal makes it cleaner for us to consume. I want to eat meat that has been killed with the welfare of the animal in mind and be grateful for what i have. I do not see the importance of halal vs non halal chicken.

I have stopped eating pork because the descision not to eat it reminds me of the lessons of the quaran. 2000 years ago i would expect pork was far more dangerous to eat and it is clearly still a cause of disease today, although a much smaller threat.

I still want to drink alcohol because it is a social activity. I have become more aware of what i consume and that i should look after my body and mind. There are benefits that I would resent if i stopped drinking, I may lose touch with friends. I never become aggressive and maintain awareness of my effect on others when i drink.


So my question is, from what I have written, can I consider myself a muslim? Does it matter how other people interpret my faith or that I may not beleive in things as literally as they are written. I understand that there are several practises in the Quaran that no longer apply to modern society such as those around slavery - so do my actions of selectively obaying rules while still maintaining intentions of good discount me as a muslim or am I right in beleiveing it is far deeper than this?

Thankyou

Assalamu Alaikum,

"And I recognize my own limitations that I am not so smart that I can possible understand all the levels to Islam."

Sister, that is very good observation. We may and should try our best, but we may never reach the point of perfection. Therefore, we may strive to remain very close to it or closest to it. There are many things that would always remain beyond human comprehension. That means the challenge to keep trying our best would also be present permanently.

May Allah guide us all.

Peace

Have you discussed these concerns with her father?  I am sure he would like to hear them and can advise you appropriately.  You become a Muslim when you testify with belief that there is only one god - Allah; worthy of our worship, and Muhammad is His final Prohet and Messenger.

May peace be on the guided ones. First of all, to answer your question 'am I muslim?', no, you are not yet. In order to be a muslim, you need to declare that There is no God but Allah and Muhammad pbuh is the slave and messenger of Allah.
Now coming to your viewpoints about life, brother, how do you define what is right and wrong? You believe some things are right and some are wrong. Before that, you need to define right or wrong. Philosophers have differed on the definition of right and wrong. Some have even said there is no ultimate right or wrong. Everything happening is just an event taking place at a time. Right and wrong are relative to each other. Your views about rightness of something will probably change as you gain more knowledge and experience. When i first started to keep beard, i could not find much logic behind it, but i still kept it since prophet told us to do so. It was after a few years that i found the benefits. First of all, people expected high standards from me. People expected me to be ethical, not to use foul language, not to flirt with women, not to smoke, not to drink, etc. So, effectively, i was being forced by people around me to lead an ethical life. They would smoke themselves, but they would never offer me to smoke, they would watch pornography, but they would not invite me to join them. And all this just for keeping a beard. There are many other advantages. So you see, somethings might seem meaningless at one point of time, but may seem meaningful at some other point. Right and wrong would always be debatable. So our belief should be based on truth. We should believe whatever is the truth. It does not matter whether laws of Islam seems right or wrong to an individual, what matters is whether islam is the truth, whether prophet muhammad pbuh is a messenger, whether Quran is the word of God? This is what you should be bothered about. If it is true, accept it without hesitation. If it is false, search for the truth until you find it. You cannot escape truth. It's all around you. Your very existence is true.
Is death right or wrong? Should our loved ones ever die? It does not matter. It does not matter whether death is right or wrong. Death is the reality. Man will die. It's the truth. We just have to accept it and move on. Similarly, it does not matter whether alcohol is harmful or beneficial. Allah forbade us, so we will not drink. Because if we disobey Allah, we will go to hell. This is the truth. The sun rises in the east, 1+1=2, there is nothing good or bad about these. These are just the truth.
For the proof that Islam is the truth, you can search 'Is the quran God's word' by Dr.Zakir Naik, on the internet. You will find both video and written lecture insha'allah. Also, you may search 'The proof that islam is the truth' by Abdur Rahim Green on youtube.
May Allah show you the true path.
P.S. Another point of view is that, Allah decides what is right or wrong, not you and me. When Allah says something is right, it really is right. We just need to verify whether the information is from Him or not.