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Lie to get pregnant(?)

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Zarazinar View Drop Down
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    Posted: 18 January 2021 at 11:02am
How did it go? I am also struggeling with this. I dont want to, but feel I have too:/ Really want a baby now, before its too late. But dont want to do anything thats haram. You know if it is haram to trick him to get pregnant? I am thinking to stop taking p-pills
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NuraB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 December 2010 at 7:40pm
salam searchingsoul
 
Does he know how strongly you feel? Having 4 years under your belt together you know your husband best, and likewise, he should know you very well also.
 
Sis Hayfa said it well. You have three options.
 
1. He agrees
2. You stay-no baby
3. Divorce
 
Would involving a third party such as his parents or your wakeel help the situation?
 
 
N.B. 


Edited by NuraB - 12 December 2010 at 7:40pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote searchingsoul Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 December 2010 at 2:08am
Salam Sisters,

@NuraB : hhmm... he'll pinch my nose if I say that..
@Hayfa : I did tell him about to put the trust in Allah who provides, but it still won't change him.. (eerrgghh.. sometimes i do have naughty thought of shaving his beard off when he's asleep.. hehe)
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 December 2010 at 9:25am
Salaam Searching Soul,

I think that worrying about the future is a human element. On the other hand, to "fear" is actually unislamic for us to not trust in Allah to provide. I remember when I was "young" and you thin kthe world is about to end with all the news.. we cannot predict the future. And we need to trust Allah

Keep us posted sister..

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NuraB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 December 2010 at 1:37pm
Salam searchingsoul
 
Multiple husbands, Stern%20Smile no thanks! One man is enough to drive me crazy.
 
On a serious note, that is a drastic measure, to lie about your ovulation.
 
Perhaps that can be an argument point with him.
 
"Honey, I really want us to have a baby. You know I was even thinking about lying to trick you into getting pregnant. I don't want to lie to you. Please, let's have a baby."
 
 
N.B.
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote searchingsoul Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 December 2010 at 5:40am
He knew I desperate for one, i did talk about it with him. We are an open minded couple to each other, Alhamdulillah. But the reason he told me about this matter is that he's just worried if the baby will grow up in such a crazy world, He told me about many bad things happen in this world today (natural disasters, wars, etc) he's worrying too far, I think. But I tried to accept whatever it is as I want to always please his heart.
That second hubby idea is quite tickling my tummy tehehe
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 December 2010 at 11:37am
Salaams,

Yes it is confusing and very hard.

I think you really need to discuss with him in depth your desire. It is causing you heartache and angst. I assume he also cares for you.

Has he told you why he does not want a child? Some people just don't like children, for others they may have something that is stopping them. Fear is real for many with kids.

And some people do not understand the desperation some people have to really want a child.

He will have to consent to having a child
You agree to not have kids and stay married
Having a child is so important  to you that you would divorce and find another

None of the above is easy. But choice A is his. And you decide from there. Its not like dear sister we can get a 2nd husband (though it would be quite interesting! lol).


Have you had a heart to heart talk with him?

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote searchingsoul Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 November 2010 at 7:06pm
Salam Sister Hayfa,

That's right. Lie is a lie. It is tough, very tough though.. He never said that he didn't want a child before we got married. I was so dissapointed the first year of the marriage knowing that he never wanted one, but i thought with the time passing by that he would change his mind so I waited.. but until now, it's just still the same. And this waiting for 4 years has change me into really in love with this man (as FYI, we met only once and then decide to get marry the next day, and we married on the third day we met)
Sometimes, it got me to think, will I ever wanted to lose someone I love which is already here with me to get something that maybe I can't get?

huffhh.. confused
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