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Marrying a divorced woman

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    Posted: 22 September 2010 at 8:16pm
Asalamu ailaikum to everyone here.

I am a 24 year old muslim virgin and proud of it. I recently told my parents to start looking for a wife for me. One of my friends recommended a very great girl the only "problem" was that she was married once before and it didint work out.
I told my parents about this girl and they FREAKED out saying you deserve better than that, you are a virgin and you should get the same. I know they are only scared of what people will say if I do marry this girl. I told them islamicly there is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying this girl.
I need some help, evidence from quran, hadith, sunnah to prove to my parents that what they are saying is wrong.
Thank you
Asalamualaikum
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote semar Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 September 2010 at 9:23pm
Assalamu alaikum,
 
There is nothing wrong marry to a widow. Prophet Muhammad pbuh did it. He was also a virgin too, and Khadijah was a widow. However. don't be hurry, if this is the first girl you come a cross wait a little bit and look around again who knows you find some other candidates. Because this is the time to open your eyes look around, after you marriage you should "close" your eyes. Not the other way around.
Salam/Peace,

Semar

The Prophet said: "Do not eat before you are hungry, and stop eating before you are full"

"1/3 of your stomach for food 1/3 for water, 1/3 for air"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote complicated Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 September 2010 at 7:43am
Salam
This is not the first girl I was shown or looked at. my parents showed me over 30 muslim girls and I really think this is the one. and I totally agree with you. after marriage a husbands eyes should close.
My parents will probably disown me if I go after this girl. I told them I am not better than the prophet PBUH so there is no problem with me marrying a widow. and shes very young, 20 years old. I need to convince them I guess.
salam
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 September 2010 at 8:20am
Your folks can not be "wrong" because they are only advising their son, which is not only their right, but duty.  You are well advised to listen carefully to their concerns and not seek to "win" or be right.  I personally fear that if taking this girl you do not feel you have done her a "favor" and when troubles begin, as natural in any and all marriages, you then feel I should have listened to my parents and treat her badly.  Are you confident you can adjust to an experienced woman?  How long was she married before?  Are cultural and educational backgrounds similar?  Why is she now divorced? 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote complicated Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 September 2010 at 12:17pm
The girl got divorced after a year because her ex husband promised he would send her to school, before they got married then after they got married he didnt, among other things, she was married at 16 for a year. in my opinion thats way too young.
And you are right, my parents are just concerned, but i am in no way just trying to "win". I listen to my parents in everything alhamdullilah. but sometimes parents are wrong. like telling I cant take this girl for the simple fact that she was married before. I am in no way better than the prophet and he lived his life as complete as possible and it is sunnah to follow what he did. that doesnt mean we have to do exactly what he did but if a chance comes that you can, you should.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 September 2010 at 12:52am
Salam Brother,
 
Abu aisha is right,you should not marry her cause u want to do some charity,you should marry her for what she is,remember the supreme model Mohammed s.a.w,he married khadija a widow 2 times, 15 years older to him,and many other wives of profet were widow or divorced.
 
Islam is very paractical in life and does not care for such things like virginity as far as it is within the islamic Law.yes verginity lost out of wedd lock is big issue and hard for any muslim man to accept.
 
so do istekhara if you adamant to marry and try to convince your parents for this.
 
Regards
Faisal
 
 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote The absurd one Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 October 2010 at 11:57am
If you want my very personal opinion, I'd like first to know how old she is. If she is, like you, 24 and was already married and divorced I'd say careful, you may be surprised by what you'll get yourself in.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Chrysalis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 October 2010 at 1:33am
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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