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Your opinion please . . . on a critical issue

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SoftHeart View Drop Down
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    Posted: 18 August 2010 at 6:46am

Dear Intellectual Youth of Islam,

As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah.

It's a Mercy from Allah that He has sent us not only into Muslim families but to families that are closely adherent to Islam, just as Prophets Ibraheem and Yusuf (a.s.) prayed, " . . . keep us in the company of the righteous" (26:83, 12:101).

And Allah likewise says, " . . . what an excellent companionship that is!" (4:69).

While reminding us of this immense blessing, Allah also says , "You are the best community among mankind, selected to encourage goodness and avert bad . . . " (3:110).

Allah also gives us the principles for this high profile job, "Call to the Path of your Lord with wisdom, admirable counseling, and utmost courtesy in argument� (16:125).

I�m writing to you to gather your opinion and understanding on the following issue so that we can avert the concerned sin in the proper way, wisely and respectfully, for Allah says, �I�ve honoured the children of Adam . . . � (17:70).

It�s being increasingly observed that children of highly religious families like us are not being able to abide by some of the top priority principles of Islam, like the following.

        �Marry chaste women from among the believers and . . . maintain chastity; don�t commit adultery nor take them as girlfriends(Surah Al-Ma'idah - 5:5).

        � . . . get them married . . . ; they should be chaste, neither adulterous, nor taking boyfriends . . . � (Surah An-Nisa - 4:25).

        �Tell the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their chastity�� (Surah An-Noor - 24:30).

        � . . . and be not too complacent in speech, lest a diseased heart is moved with desire, but speak respectably" (Surah Al-Ahzab - 33:32).

" . . . and when you have to ask for something you need, ask from behind a screen; that makes greater purity for your hearts and theirs . . . " (Surah Al-Ahzab - 33:53).

        The Prophet Muhammad (peace & blessings be upon him) said, �Never do a boy and a girl sit alone without Satan being the third one between them.�

        �If you have to touch a lady otherwise a red hot iron rod will be put through your head, you better go ahead and choose the iron rod.�

        "And don't even go near adultery, it's indecent and an evil way" (Surah Al-Isra - 17:32).

        �I leave behind me nothing more dangerous than gender.�

But it seems that too many of our youth are deviating from these principles, degrading their morals and the overall productivity of society. And remember we�re talking about boys and girls who�ve had a very proper religious upbringing, but are for some reason being unable to keep up to them, perhaps despite their good intentions.

Please give me your opinion on how we can approach to remind these next generation of intellectuals of these Divine Guidelines, so that we can ourselves fulfill the duty Allah has placed on us, �You are the best community among mankind, selected to encourage goodness and avert bad . . . " (3:110).

I look forward to hearing from you.

May Allah bless you all.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 August 2010 at 7:05pm

I think the problem you outlined indeed transcends youth and effects adults, as well as married adults also, however surely it is a major fitna for young adults.  Generally speaking sin should be followed with good for surely good deeds cancel those bad transgressions.  One should always seek forgiveness and never give up struggling to do what is known to be correct.

 

Allah the Almighty has said: "O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its."
[related by Al-Tirmithi, who said that it was a good and sound Hadith].

 

Those families who traditionally arrange marriages may consider making the wedding dowry and celebrations more financially reasonable so that our youth are able to more easily marry.  They should also consider marriage at a younger age whereby the young man and girl can attend college together while married. 

 

I caution our youth to not despair of the mercy of Allah and think just because you have failings you continue to sin.  �So keep your duty to Allah and fear Him as much as you can� Taghaabun 64:16  And the Prophet (pbuh) said: �When I command you to do a thing, do as much of it as you can� and �Religion is easy.�

Ibn Mas'ud  says a man came to the Prophet  and said: "O Apostle of Allah, I found a woman in a garden and did everything to her except having sex: I kissed her, and hugged her and so on, but I didn't go beyond this. So judge me as you wish." The Prophet  said nothing in reply and the man went away. Upon this 'Umar  remarked: "Allah would have left it in secret if he had left it in secret." The Prophet looked in the direction the man had gone and said: "Call him back." When they called him back he recited him the following verse: "Establish Prayers at the two ends of the day and early part of the night. Indeed good deeds wipe out evil ones. And this (Qur'an) is a reminder unto the mindful." (Hud:114)

Upon hearing this Mu'adh  (and according to another report 'Umar ) said: "O Apostle of Allah, is this for him alone or (the rule) is common?" He  replied: "No it is common."

We ask Allah to bless our youth with success in this life and the next.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Nausheen View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Nausheen Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 September 2010 at 12:05am
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

   They should also consider marriage at a younger age whereby the young man and girl can attend college together while married.   

 

This is indeed a wise suggestion. Where parents consider "settling down" in career etc. before one gets married - given the times we live in, it might not be as crucial to have a job prior to marriage as it is to maintian chastity. If young men are married while in college, their focus can be concetrated  better on their careers - their religion secure, 50% of deen already complete :) so they have to take care of just the rest ot it :P
 
If parents choose to maintain their children in their respective homes, after their marriages, till they finish college - thus sharing the financial responsibilities of the newly wed couple, it can help the new generation to plunge into the world im more safety and with better confidence.
 
Im interested in more opinions on this issue - especially because we have had several debates on the requirement of a 'working wife' by some brothers in past. Also a little earlier I was against this opinion, but changed my mind as I perceive more of the culture that prevails outside the household.
 
nausheen
 
 
 


Edited by Nausheen - 02 September 2010 at 12:06am
<font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa

Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena

wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AL BASAIR MEDIA Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 May 2013 at 7:33am
Without proper understanding of deen (obviously,Hidayah is great factor), it's not impossible to fall into fitnah.

You tell that "who�ve had a very proper religious upbringing". Let me tell something about this.

From my experience (in my short life), i hear some people think that the family of Abu saleh (just example) is really religious but in practical,when i compare them with the Quran-Sunnah, find them they're just maintain some rules from Quran, and some rules from jahel society.They maintain hijab, also maintain freemixing. But their "fan" dont see it as un-islamic, because for them,this is enough islamic. I know some people who's family considered islamic (actually not), one of them also studied madrasha, but i he miss the salat and tell lies without any hezitation.

One of the fact is, parents practice islam, but they dont know about islamic parenting. islamic parenting is not like that parents teach them "recitation" of quran (without understanding) and let their children mixed with "unvarified" children. culture of the society play a big role on children. if parents dont care what culture entering into their children's mind beside islam, than it'a also become a big issue for misguiding of them. Personally, i know a Hafiz,who is now misguided because of his friend. i also heard about a hafiz, who died while he was enjoing porn.

SUBHAN-ALLAH. islamic parenting is not a minor issue.Every parent's should study broadly on islamic parenting, it's duty of them. it's not enough to just teach about islam. they should obviously remember that we are living in a era, where jahiliyyat is widespreading.

Here i give you the link of an article on Islamic parenting.Other links you'll find after going to the link below.

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTING
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