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A family problem

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Nabil View Drop Down

Joined: 29 May 2008
Location: Iran
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    Posted: 21 June 2010 at 11:54am
I just read a book " Aspects of parents' rights ".Of course, its an Islamic and it explains how v should always obey our parents. ALWAYS.
I really got sad after reading because in our family, relationships of the whole family with our father are not good.
Our father is sorrowful most of the time at his kids because " we are usless and not able to do anything " for no reason. He shouts at my mom and is now not talking to any of us. As if its our fault. He does not acknowledge the fact that he is not perfect too. We've never disobeyed him or talked back(except 1 time, recently) we just keep quiet and listen and then his mood goes off because of ' us ' and my poor mother tries hard for his mood to be back to normal.
Recently, again he was saying something on an ' abnormal ' issue like " its a holidy, why am i not going out anywhere "? and this was it. I told him that i was not in the mood and he began to be angry until i talked back for once that u cant force me now to go out. 1m 19. and then the world came to an end and he thiks that we dont treat him right.
God, I know it sounds bad. It wasnt like this a few years back. I regret that I blunted out. I shouldnt have. I should have just listened and kept quiet as always. And now after reading more of these parents rights, i feel bad that I have committed a sin and will be sent to hell because i disobeyed my dad.

But it does get better and hes happy too but after what i said, i just dont know.
All I can do is seek forgivness and pray to Allah.

But dont children also have few rights? the book i read said children should be obedient and if their parents are mean to them like " zulm karna ". but i didnt get this line. in this sense, parents go on to be absolutely perfect...and children are the victim...
I know i cant say that but i just want to KNOW.
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Gibbs View Drop Down
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Joined: 29 April 2009
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Gibbs Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 June 2010 at 9:54pm
I must say that it is one thing to have religion mandate your attitude towards your parents but its another to have parents say harmful things to you. From what it sounds your father may need psychological counseling for his behavior in expressing himself. Perhaps if you go to the mosque you may find someone helpful.
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Sign*Reader View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sign*Reader Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 June 2010 at 10:52pm
Gibbs may be right!
There might be financial worries your dad may be under that rest in family may not be concerned! How are the finances?
What is your family make up? Number and ages...If your dad is retired then I can see his being cranky on dependence for not able to enjoy his golden years!
Does he drive etc.

 What did you mean you are 19 and can't go out?

It is maladies of the old age that made parents rights supreme in order to help keep their faith while the body and mind starts fragmenting and that burden is on the children shoulders which pays dividends beyond any charity!

You don't need to read any book just do the search on Quran and you will find in numerous places what the creator of this system has revealed!
There is good column on the front page of the this site about "Status of Parents"

But there is flip side of this demand on the prospective parents that they must  have a well rounded education and wisdom imparted to the children...You just can't reap any good harvest without some diligent support and pruning in your garden! "zulm karna" I think would mean wrong doing...What is the language of the book?
If the parents have poor communication between them, the children job gets difficult and then that is kismet you can't change that and figure how to make the best of it!
The children's rights are many that we can discuss later...
Remember that the Prophet(s) was an orphan and if you are not an orphan you are already ahead in the game of life and try to make best of the time at hand and find out what is the root cause of your dad's demeanor!
May be the personality traits are not compatible! am taking a shot in the dark!
Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.
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