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Sunni/Shia Marriage guidence?

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Anonymous_uk View Drop Down
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Joined: 03 February 2010
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    Posted: 03 February 2010 at 12:02pm
Assalaam-ul-alaikum,
 
I am a Sunni muslim who met, fell in love with and married a Shia man 2 years ago. We are from different cultures as he is from Pakistan and I from UK. We were both not practising our sects when we met.  We have had many issues since marriage, mostly relating to his mother not being happy that we decided to settle in UK. His mother and married sister are in Pakistan and Father in Dubai.
 
He had always started arguements that it was my fault his mother and sister would always cry and be upset. I dealt with their comments and negativity toward me and my family this continued for one year during our engagement and a year and a half after our marriage. I then broke down and could not take any more
 
He then recently began practising his Shia sect, where for e.g he would open his fast later than he would before, only go to a Shia Masjid, and he performed Matham. He also believes in giving Khums. I believe that I did not look at religious beliefs and way of life when entering this marriage, and I have begun to increase my knowledge in Deen. Now the way he wants to live his life is bothering me and I do not agree with many things.
 
I did not feel comfortable with his recent changes and I have been unhappy not only with his religious way of life but also with his taunting personality whereby I have struggled to be content. He has been caring and loving, and we have had good times, but it is the extent of the arguments that I can't take anymore.
 
I had said before we married that I would bring up kids Sunni, he did not disagree to this, however when we discussed this after marriage, he says to teach both sects and let them decide. I do not agree with this type of confused upbringing. I also said I will not marry you if you ever do Matham, however, he went during Muharram last year and came back and in an argument told me that he had.
 
There are many more personality traits in him that I feel uneasy about and that have led us to arguments about other issues-too many to go into detail about.
 
I have lost my trust in him, and find it difficult to believe he will change, as he says he will and he does not want divorce.
 
I have asked for divorce and have consulted my family and friends, but he does not want it and is trying to convince me to give him a chance to change his ways. I However still feel uneasy and very unsure about giving him this chance, as it may be short term and my issues are also long term eg kids etc.
 
I wish to seek Islamic guidence. I have tried Istikhara, but I am not completely sure I recieved clear guidence.
 
Jassak- Allah,
 
 
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xx__Ace__xx View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote xx__Ace__xx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 June 2010 at 3:07pm
Not sure why no one has yet helped ya out :/
My advice would be to go ahead with the divorce since he's apparently cheated with and betrayed you on a couple major aspects. But then you'd not wanna hear an eighteen year old telling you stuff rofl ;P
Hopefully there'll be more experienced opinions and Islamic guidance from the experts after my reply.
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fais View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 July 2010 at 11:03pm

 Salam,

Dear sister in islam,

I am happy that you feel uneasy about the belief of your husband,The problem is exactly as mentioned in quran and its tafseer,DO NOT MARRY THEM EVEN IF THEY LOVE YOU:they means the non believers:then tafseer says one cannot be compatible with a partner unless relegion is same as this is their cuase of existence.plz forgive this not exact translation,but hope u get the meaning.

SHIAS are hypocrates and worse than a non believer,they harm islam and the activities they do is just to go against islam,whoever denies one act or order of islam or disagree with profet S.A.W is kafir.he is in to kufr.shia are the those weak non believers who cud stop the force of islam and entered in islam to harm from inside.
 
I give one good example:shia practise MUTA which is temperary marraige which can last for a year or month or a day or even an hour to quench the sexual desire.tell your husband he is following this dirty sect who belives in such thing.
 
I will not ask you leave him but consult a Alim on this if he dont change.plz plz dont let children fall to this hell fire.
 
I am sorry sister my blood boils when i have to saysomething about them,they abuse the guided qalifs.they acuse jibreel a.s.w for khayanat in passing the nubuwat to Mohammed s.a.w and not Ali radialahutala.
 
in short shias are not muslims and as quran says you cant marry a non beliver.encourage him to join islamic research foundation kind of organisation and ask himto give good reason why he wanna follow shia belief.
 
May allah fogive me if i have said anything wrong as divorce is the most hatefull to allah which he permitted by law.
 
keep me posted
regards
Faisal


Edited by fais - 07 July 2010 at 11:04pm
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