problems in marriage

kiny wrote: Even before I start curing depression, my husband has to start compromising...what if my depression is related to his behavior

Sister Kiny,

Depression does not come from out of the blue, there are always reasons around ourselves and within us that shape the psyche.

In your case it can be your husband's attitide, and at this stage it is hard to figure as to why he changed much so suddenly. However  given to the age of your married life, i can tell you, you are having some settlement problems.

Every marriage goes thru ups and downs, and especially within the first 3 years. Not having your family and friends near you can add to the problems, because these people help buffer off much that may otherwise have a severe effect on a person.

Your husband may not be handling things as maturely and as generously as he should. It will take sometime for him to realise and for you to bear the loneliness. Have patience. Sometiems people take a bit longer than usual to understand their spouse. May be he is a good person, but is finding it stressful and awkward to deal with your depressiion. May be he did not expect this in his wildest imagination. Newly weds have expectations from eachother, which they sometimes discover as not met with, and it causes disappointments ... may lead to depressions also.

Try to find something to keep you occupied and interested (other than your husband) eg, go to a hobby shop and buy some kits to make, or borrow a book from the library. Try some new recepies etc... there are many things to do.

If your depression gets worse while discussing thiings with your husband, it is better you do not discuss with him rather talk to someone else. Good option will be a psychotherepist, as suggested by others on this forum.

Sis, just remember, at this point it not your husband's attitude that is your responsibility to rectify. Your responsibility is towards your health and well being. Therefore, choose what is best for you, and act wisely. Insha allah, all will be well soon.

Lastly, you are welcome to any help that you can recieve from here. I will be glad if the dua is beneficial for you insha allah.

Maa salaama,

Nausheen

Bismillah,

Exercise ameliorates depression, really!  Walking outside, running in place inside, dancing, aerobics.  Try it when you feel like crying, or even before!

I think that you need to go near yr family sister. verey one of us has this place where he finds happiness. Personally whenever i feel down i try to arrange for a vacation in a place where io never had anything but happiness before. may be in yr case this is yr old neighbourhood or near yr parents or in a place where you had lovely memories.

may be you feel Home sick to yr parents and that can easily cause depression. May be you arent ready to get that far from the people you knew all yr life.

I also advice you walk in the sunshine and expose yr self to calm beautiful nature as much asw you can and never ever lock yr self at home.

Sister you gotta give yr self credit and give yr self what you neeed . Sacrificing yrself for the success of the marriage will end up in sacrificing yr health AND the marriage. Yr husband will only care of you when he sees you are adamant about taking care of your self. Be corageuous and understand that its yr right to heal yr self.

We are all here for you

salam

Meedo