Converting to Islam for a Woman

Assalamu Alaikum,


As far as I know, if this wife wanted to convert to Islam and her husband
who is considered one of the People of the Book is supportive, I in no way
see why she would have to leave her husband. Of course a non married
Muslim woman is strongly encouraged to marry a Muslim man, but this
situation is special and unique. If he is a good, supportive husband and
is willing to accept his wife in her Islamic faith, then a divorce to me
would be wrong. Allah (swt) discourages divorce amongst all believers
and if these two love one another and love God then they shoudl love and
support each other for life. Of course, Allah knows best.

Peace,
J.R.

Khadija,

Thank you for the scriptural reference.  Though, it is sad.  It would prevent a lot of women from even considering converting, I would think.  To choose between ones family and faith is hard.  I know it was hard enough for me when I converted just the reaction from my family, I can't imagine if that had also required me leaving the man I pledged to marry and follow through eternity.  Would that include if the woman had children, or only women who did not yet have children?  What would be suggested to a woman with children?  And we're still talking about a loving, supportive husband.  If a husband doesn't support the choices of his wife and her faith, then there are bigger problems in the marriage. 

Angela

muslim-muslim.


Edited by firewall

Assalamu alaikum,

Yes, complex indeed.  I would think that our Merciful and Oft-Forgiving Allah would weigh each and every action of each and every individual by their own merits and circumstances.

For example, Muslim women must wear hijab.  That is black and white, no argument.  Yet, many, many Sisters choose not to wear it - will they all go to hell?  No, I think not.  Allah will weigh their good deeds against their bad deeds.  There is no compulsion in religion.  Allah is the best of judges.

So, it is not unfathomable that there could be a situation where a woman who converts to Islam would choose to stay with her non-Muslim husband.  Yes, it is a sin, just like not wearing hijab.  But, it is between her and Allah.  Only Allah knows the intention in her heart.  Only Allah knows the unique set of circumstances that compel her to commit this sin.

We can quote Qur'an and ahadith.  We can give argument for or against.  In the end, every action we do is between us alone and Allah. It is not the business of the community to forbid Muslims from sinning - there is no compulsion in religion.  Trying to forbid others ends up with situations like the Taliban where women were beaten with sticks for being outdoors without a mahram.  That is not Islam.

Here is another take on this subject.  In recent years there have been thousands of women all over the world converting to Islam.  There was recently an article on another website about 30,000 Swiss women converting to Islam.  Looking at that case alone, even if only half of these women were married, are we to believe that 15,000 Swiss women up and left their husbands, broke up their families and devasted their children just because they changed their religion?  And add on all the other thousands of women around the world - it becomes mind boggling!  Is Islam the religion of making families break up?

Does this make sense?  Does this sound like the simple religion of Islam?  Does this sound like Allah Most Merciful?

One of the reasons given for Muslim women not marrying non-Muslims is that the man is responsible for the religious affairs of the family.  When is the last time you met a man that took charge of the religious upbringing of his children?  It is almost always the woman who does this!

Now, I am not saying that the scholars of old (or even now) are wrong.  I am saying that they are too unflexible.  (And they are all men - hello!  Don't you think women would have a terribly different view of this?)

Islam is not a religion stuck in stone.  The only certainty is "there is no deity worthy of worship but Allah".  Everything else is between you and Allah - only He knows your heart.  Telling Muslims they will go to hell for a certainty is saying that you know how Allah will judge someone - and that is a sin too!

Peace, ummziba.