Husband Issues

".....and he has watched to adult videos..."

abuayisha wrote: � Hopefully with patience, communication, love and understanding you two can work around this problem.

InshAllah Ta ala

Maybe she should tell him there is a potato shortage, lol.

Lol

Yes let's debate.. maybe we can solve it all.. lol

May Allah have mercy on all of us.

Dear Salaam123,

I feel sorry for what you discovered... but that's another point for you. I mean, now, you know that he is "taking his own medicine", cause the lack of intimate with you (I mean, in case this is the first time he is looking for adult websites in internet, and I hope so).

Now, you have two options:

- To give in, and give the first step trying to come back to him, and making him come back to you.

- To keep quite waiting until he understands what he did.

Both of them are very dangerous: if you choose the first one, he may think that you are weak and that you will always do, no matter the problems between you both (except in case you are showing him that you are angry, that you are his wife and have your rights too, and that he did something really bad and has to understand it).

The second option... well, in my opinion, no matter the age men have, they are so many times having childrens behaviours... and I think this one is like a child: "you don't cook like my mother", "you didn't cook enough food for me and my friends, and the quality was not good", "I don't want to talk"... Well, at least, now you are practising for the moment you get your own children

I cannot tell you what to do, because I don't know him and I don't want to make a mistake. But I will tell you what I was doing sometimes with my ex-boyfriend. Men are not communicative, they are not used to talk about their problems (well, at beginning, later I teached him to tell me everything and he learned ). So, when something happened to him, or he didn't like something I said or I did, I was realizing just with a look. He was trying to hide, but... well, I am not st**id.

So, if the problem was at home, I was following him everywhere: if he was in the sofa, I was going to sit with him. If he was going to the bed, I was going with him (as close as I was able to be). If he was going to the kitchen, me too (except to the bathroom, eh!). So, after time, he started shouting to me: what are you doing? what are you looking for? Bla bla bla... and I was smiling in nice way and telling him that I just wanted to be with him, nothing else. After 1 or 2 hours... the problem was solved He was telling me what happened, and everything was coming back to the peace. I don't mean with your husband it could work, because really, my ex didn't tell me anything like what your husband told you, but... we are wise as women, and we know the "flank" to attack from ... I hope you understand me. You are his wife, and he is your husband, so don't feel shy to use "intimate" relations to benefit yourself. Or at least, just make him think that there is a chance (sorry if I am going too far, I am just thinking about what he was watching in internet).

But for sure the matter is not only to solve this situation, but to avoid futures problems like this, and I don't think all that is really related to the way you cut the potatoes. I think you both should talk, and you have to show him that you have your own opinions on things and you want to tell him.

Well, I don't know if I am going to help you too much, but at least, I want to ask you to be strong, and whatever you do, do it thinking about the future, and about yourself. The marriage should be forever, and we should be strong to face all kind of situations, and to solve them. You should be, I am sure, and your love and God will help you.

Best regards,
Patricia