bitter taste In my mouth

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   Aslama Alaikum Sister,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. My duas for you. I have never been divorced (or married so I have no specific words of advice in that regard.

But as Full of Hopes mentioned don't focus on your Ex. Focus on your relationship with Allah. I know from my own personal experience, it is SO hard at time to be 'up' during the times of struggle. Keep up your prayers.. and for me I try to keep up being thankful for all I have.  Make a list of ALL you have been given. Some 'big'-like your son, food, the ability to work etc. And sometimes the small.... It has helped me stay positive.

Do you family near you? What about friends? I think this is helpful. Come here to Islamicity... be engaged if you can. 

Also for me, it helps at times to accept where you are at. We are not perfect. You are going through a rough time. Ok. Cry it out sometimes. Sometimes it makes it worse or it doesn't help to fight it all. You work hard, go to work, take care of your child. Its tough.  

The other day I was very stressed, feeling really low and it helped that I read the Quran. It really did. 

Your sister in Islam
Hayfa   

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Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 September 2009 at 9:02pm
	Aslama Alaikum Sister, I am sorry to hear about your situation. My duas for you. I have never been divorced (or married so I have no specific words of advice in that regard. But as Full of Hopes mentioned don't focus on your Ex. Focus on your relationship with Allah. I know from my own personal experience, it is SO hard at time to be 'up' during the times of struggle. Keep up your prayers.. and for me I try to keep up being thankful for all I have. Make a list of ALL you have been given. Some 'big'-like your son, food, the ability to work etc. And sometimes the small.... It has helped me stay positive. Do you family near you? What about friends? I think this is helpful. Come here to Islamicity... be engaged if you can. Also for me, it helps at times to accept where you are at. We are not perfect. You are going through a rough time. Ok. Cry it out sometimes. Sometimes it makes it worse or it doesn't help to fight it all. You work hard, go to work, take care of your child. Its tough. The other day I was very stressed, feeling really low and it helped that I read the Quran. It really did. Your sister in Islam Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

Full of Hopes Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 06 August 2009 Status: Offline Points: 855	Post Options Post Reply Quote Full of Hopes Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 September 2009 at 3:14pm
	Asslamu Alikum Wa Rahmatu Allah Dear sister, first you have got a very nice name. May Allah reward you and raise your rank. I have never been through the divorce experience but I faced many troubles in this life and I can feel of you. Sometimes I felt my dream is just death. I sometimes just wanted to die. Not because I am sure of Paradise but because I just want to escape form this life. May Allah have mercy on us. But listen to me here is a very good advice. Some thing when I did it I felt relieved and so happy, as my heart was flying. focus on my words I have done this a lot and never failed to be happy and get what I want. Remember your faith in Allah the Al-Merciful. Complain to Him as you complain to your dearest and close friend. Allah is the Greatest, I am just trying to let you see what I mean and feel of it. Do you wudu and while you are doing it forget about the whole world and think only of Allah and your faith in Him. Prepare yourself for standing at His door and complain to Him everything. Then get rid of all thoughts of this life and stand for praying just 2 rakats. When you read the Fatiha focus only in Allah and focus on the great meanings of this Fatihah. Then when you reach Sujud, then here is the most important thing. Complain to Allah the A- Merciful, in your language every pain you suffer from. Explain and talk without limits. Show Allah your weakness. Let Him see how you like Him, need Him, trust Him and cry a lot. Cry like when the child cries to his parents if it wants something. Use His 99 names and Duaa from Sunnah. Show Allah that all of the doors are locked in front of you except His door that is never locked. Complain to Him your fear, weakness, sadness and worries. Speak without limits and mention alot your Faith in Allah is the ONLY one God who deserved to be worshiped and asked. I swear, the same moment you finish the prayer, you will feel VERY happy and relieved. You will feel you are very strong and no one can cause you any harm because the Lord is with you and you trust Him. Sister I pray to Allah that you get married soon to some one better that your x husband and feel the great happiness with your kid. May Allah who grants the Duaa, help you and take you out of all troubles. Please do this Duaa and complain to Allah any time you feel down and also as you said keep dhikr the whole day. Do not stop saying Allah names and the Suanna Duaas because when you feel upset Shyatn will be close to you just to decrease your faith and make you feel sad. It is his battle with Adam sons, and when you say Allah's name the Shytan runs away. Also try to have good Muslim friends and company. Try to change your life style. Stop thinking about your past life and your x hubby and trut Allah for your furture. Go out with your firnds and enjoy your life. Incraese you faith in Allah the Greatest and do what ever your like doing which is not haram (forbiden). Dress up, make parties, play sport, read and practice your faovorite hobbies. Get rid of the sad and disappointing thoughts, sweetie. be stronger. I am sure you can do it. My Duaa with you. Please keep in touch. Your sister in Islam Edited by Full of Hopes - 09 September 2009 at 3:17pm
	And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)

Allah First Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Female Joined: 09 September 2009 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 11	Post Options Post Reply Quote Allah First Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 09 September 2009 at 11:58am
	Asalaam Aleikum dear sisters, I have what is a known common problem. See my husband divorced me and behind my back went and married someone else, close to a year later he told me. Now he's also found his dream job, younger wife and most of what he's worked for and I'm left a single mother raising a kid that he also want to take from me. Since he says he can do a better job at it than me. I haven't any professional training therefore I have to work difficult jobs, send my kids to daycare and watch him having a good time. I know all this is a test from Allah. What I hope someone can give me an answer to is 'when those times creep in, you know! Times where your spirit is just low, everything seems to be a waste of time and that life and people have gotten the best of you'. What do you do in those times, I do dhikr, go to the masjid, listen to lectures but the problem is inside. I would like advice from someone who's gone through a divorce and not remained bitter.