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I wanna save my marraige
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fais View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 August 2009
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Points: 344 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 October 2009 at 8:33am
Salam to all my dear brothers and sisters who helped me during my bad time.
To expidite the process of talaq i was asked by my brother in law to give talaq directly to her than there will be no questions from the qazi and the documentation will be fast.
i could not say this to her directly on the phone as i new i would forgive her if i hear her voice.i gave her talaq thru her brother so our talaq is done just paper work is left now.she got finally what she wanted,when she wanted me,she got me and when she wanted to leave me she got that also.just pray allah give me sabar.may she read this someday and realise her mistake.
 
Me and her
12th september,2007-17th october,2009
30thshaban,1428-28th shawal,1430


Edited by fais - 18 October 2009 at 7:12am
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saima100 View Drop Down
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Points: 32 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote saima100 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 October 2009 at 1:11pm
Asslam o alaikum
   It is really sad to read all you have written.I dont know if it still is applicable in your case.But if she is willing to go to a family therapist then you both should go there.Many times people themselves dont know what the problem is and this seems the case with your wife.I think what has happened with her is on emotional level and it has nothing to do with smell or appearance.She felt somehow emotionally betrayed by you and stopped trusting you and couldnt come closer to you.
   In such a situation where one of the partner is unable to understand how sacred marriage is it is best to finish it.
Best wishes for you.
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fais View Drop Down
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Points: 344 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 October 2009 at 11:14pm

Dear Sister,

I have no intetions that she should struggle in the court,they are all arabi speaking people they know how to deal,i will cooperate completely,i will not ask her to state the reason of khula but she shud take the resposibility of what she has done boldly,she has broken 2 kins apart my father and her father will never talk again,i told her we will leave eachother like an educated couple but by creating that last fight she made the things worse,so sister do u think she kept little respect for the person who loved her with full honesty,she dint even think where will i go in jeddah in the middle of the night after the fight,i was going to haram to spend the night as my bus was next day,luckyly my cousin was there who came to pick me and remained with me anotherwise i would have comitted sucide that day.

If i wanted to trouble i would have done many things,i could have used the 3 words of talaq standing on her house door loudly to insult her and her family but my fear of allah and love for her stopped me.if you have any idea can you explain how a girl will suffer in the court can u explain plz i wanna know whats there in your mind.
 
When people were talking bad things about her character it was me who called them and asked them to stop it as she is still my wife,i still love her.i know what you saying i appreciate it but this one thing i want now for myself but still i will not do anything unrelegious.
 
Regards


Edited by fais - 03 October 2009 at 11:25pm
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Full of Hopes View Drop Down
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 I am sorry if I hurt you without my intention. I observed that some members where telling you to be tough and take the revenge. I know how some women suffer in the court for their freedom and was giving you an advice just to fear Allah and not to be one of those men.
  I did not say you are cruel or bad. I gave a simple advice that can be taken or rejected. I said above some one may not agree....
 Again I am sorry if I hurt you without my intention.
And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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fais View Drop Down
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Points: 344 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 October 2009 at 10:30pm
Dear Sister,
Full of hope,
 
Allah knows my intention,i never meant to trouble her at any point of my life,I am just asking her to file for khula and not troubling her,troubling is a wrong word to use sister,i am a god fearing man and i know my limits i would have troubled her if i would have not participated in any legal formalities of divorce,i would have troubled if i had gone to my country back without giving talaq no one can force me,but i said i will sign the papers where ever they call and ask me to sign.
 
sister i was generous thru out my relation but this one thing now i want which is my right for my self esteem,she has broken me into peaces and no more i can do favours for her.i never thought i will give talaq to my wife whoever she is,and by doing this i will be happy that i never had to utter talaq word which is the most fateful to Allah subhana tala.they are protecting their daughter she got everything redaymade,and now she wants talaq also readymade.like a saudi women she made me do all things she wanted and when i got all she dumped me for her own reasons which is not even justified.insha allah i will get you the correct fatwa related to this matter.
 
Regards
 
 


Edited by fais - 03 October 2009 at 11:29pm
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Full of Hopes View Drop Down
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Originally posted by Hayfa Hayfa wrote:

Salaam Fais,

I agree with Martha, you need to meet with someone who is a scholar is Shariah. I do not think any of us are qualified to answer you. There is Shariah and then there is Saudi Law. I would imagine you need to know both.

My Duas are for. I know it is not easy for you.

Hayfa


  I agree with you sister 100%. And another advice I am not sure if others will agree. In my opinion I advise: try to avoid making troubles to your wife or her family. She might have been bad with you and not fair but we as Muslims do not return the wrong way of treating. We always try to be better then others. What is the point of causing her troubles??? She could not love you and asked for divorce. I just want you to put yourself in her shoes!!! Of course you want the other person to help you and make things easy for you. Also as you mentioned before she is your cousin so be careful of your relatives and let them remember your generosity with them.
And whoever seeks a religion other than Isl�m, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Salaam Fais,

I agree with Martha, you need to meet with someone who is a scholar is Shariah. I do not think any of us are qualified to answer you. There is Shariah and then there is Saudi Law. I would imagine you need to know both.

My Duas are for. I know it is not easy for you.

Hayfa
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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fais View Drop Down
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Points: 344 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 October 2009 at 9:09am

salam,

Sister thnx a million for your reply yes you made me believe i deserve better,

My father-in-law told me that i shud go to the court and file for talaq,they give a date and at time the alim will try to convince not give talaq or khula at time if you say u want seperation at any cost then the the divorce is executed,now about the reason of talaq in islam she can take khula even if she dont like me for no reason,so this is something between girl and the boy,and hearing makes no sence as there is no issue of any holding any money or right of anyone.

telling me the reason is just for the accountability on the day of judgement in front of allah subhana tala,and if she dont state it then she will be answerable to allah on the day of judgement.
 
i can force her to state me a reason but there is no use for me as she will tell me the reason to blame me and not to reconcile.she thinks she has made a mistake marrying me and allah subhana tala has supernaturally informed her that she shud leave me.allah has informed her by smell and suffocation problem and she saw a dream in which she is marrying someone else and he is telling her that she will get better than what she lost,
 
i will try your adivces and see what happenes
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