Sick to death of Traditions

I agree with you, Full of Hopes.

It's the same in all religions, I think, because as Christians, we have some minorities that are keeping outdated traditions even in higher level than God and Bible.

I find it very serious, because it's giving everyone a wrong understanding of the religion.

For instance, I know someone from an arabic country who spent 60.000� in his wedding!!! It's more expensive than a house!!! For me, it is an insult to God, and I told him. But it seems that the bride was who organized everything, and he just paid (10.000� were just gold jewls for the bride ).

Another point, is the lack of understanding between the couple before getting married. Unfortunately, the people that our parents like are not the same people that we like, so... are they easy to choose the person who is going to be with their daughter the rest of her life, and who is going to be the father of her children? I don't think so.

What I know about this situations, is that of course after sometimes you start loving the other person, but it's not natural love, it's coming from the dependency, from the time spent together, etc... It's not usual (I don't mean impossible) to find your true love through your parents. And lot of these men are looking for something else outside the marriage, because they don't feel satisfied with their wives in lot of aspects (not only in their private life).

I feel sorry for all that, because something I know for sure is that to build a durable house, you must start by its foundations.

My parents are for me the best example: they were on relation before they got married for more than 2 years, and they were talking about everything in opened way before (but they never stayed alone). Last Friday, they celebrated their 31st Anniversary, and now, without children around, without working, etc..., they are like just married!! They are like children, always inviting people for dinner, going here and there, and over everything, together. Just the way my father kiss my mother every morning when she wakes up (because she is always the last one ), makes me realize how much they love each other.

I think it's very important to know each other before sharing the rest of their lives, and I don't accept these people who say that they have the rest of their lives to know each other... I would never be able, for instance, to go with someone I don't know and start sharing everything suddenly, it would be very difficult!! Even if he was my husband, the situation is too much forced. I prefer to look at his eyes before and to meet myself looking at theses eyes the rest of my life, like my parents did.

My sister Patricia...

I agree with you up to a point. I know how traditions give a vague idea about the religion.

You really surprised me when you said you also have these poor traditions.
It is good that you could stop them. But we are still trying..
___________________________________

But there is something I need to make it clear.

In Islam and am not here talking about traditions:

If a man wishes to marry a particular woman, he goes to her father and request to marry his daughter politely.

Then he has the right to see her, talk to her and stay with her.


But some traditions prevents him from this right.

That is what I am against because it is not fair.

But some families postpone the wedding for a year or so to let them know each other more but that has to be after marriage.

But in Islam: women are not allowed to make illegal relationships with men.

Woman in Islam is a precious diamond.

No on is allowed to touch her or see her body without Allah's permission.


We are very spoiled queens�

At the and, I say..


I know so many successful Islamic marriages in my family and out of the family.

On the other hand, I know so many people got married

after love and a strong relationship then had very serious problems and troubles till they got
divorced. ..........    



Edited by Full of Hopes - 16 August 2009 at 11:58am

Full of Hopes wrote: Saladin wrote: Too bad, many Muslims have placed up on their heads the superstitions and jahiliyah traditions our Prophet crushed under his feet. Now I know some conservative of the conservatives but in what wazzockland people cant see their prospective spouse?? Unbelievable! That is definitely true. We are still suffering from Jahilai and misunderstanding of the true Islam.. How sad!!!

It is just not traditions only... could you look over and tell me what was happening to the Muslim Ummah before it got occupied,colonized, fractionalized & neo colonized...I think it went into devolution and anyone talking traditions is living in the fools Paradise...
What ever faux tribal traditions albeit unIslamic are facade for the show only to cover up the weakness of fractured Ummah...Just look around and tell me aren't the western manufactured royalty and dictatorial regimes over lording the illiterate Muslim masses also the part of tradition these days? Somehow the illiterate masses seems to be traditions too...If my grand pa was an illiterate fella then that is a tradition too stay illiterate ... LOL
What the Ummah needs is real education and freedom from yoke of neo colonialism only then you can decide what are toxic traditions and what are not...
The Israelite were in wilderness for forty years to let go of the toxic traditions they had taken on and I am not sure the time of wilderness has arrived yet for Muslims... or they are in it but don't want to realize it...at least most of them...my 2 cents more later inshallah



Edited by Sign*Reader - 17 August 2009 at 1:08am

Full of Hopes wrote: Take some of these .. I don't mean any special nationality or society. My blood is a mixture of more than two countries. Take this, in some traditions the man is not allowed to see his supposed wife before the wedding day, which is totally wrong in Islam. He has the complete right to see her, stay with her and talk to her before marriage. Some traditions say, the woman has to buy the furniture and prepare the house and that is again not in Islam.    Some say the man shouldn�t mention his wife's name in front of men. They consider that lack of his manhood.

Edited by SteppeNomad - 17 August 2009 at 12:39pm