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habebe39 View Drop Down
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Joined: 04 July 2005
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    Posted: 08 July 2005 at 9:47pm
I am 39 American Muslim. I embraced Islam 13 years ago and I have two beautiful kids ages 8 & 11. I am divorced & happily so. I am living in Northern California. I am orginally from New York. There is a huge population of muslims here. Very few American Muslims. I think I have only met three in six years having lived here. When I lived in New York there were fewer muslims and a higher likelyhood that we were a tight knit group. I miss that immensely. I wish I had a group of very close sisters here to really bond with. Language is a huge barrier. I only speak English. People who can speak multiple languages have a high tendancy to gather among those who speak their native language and without being aware of it I feel so left out. The sisters in Phili were excellent, may were so religious and friendly. We had so much fun in the name of Islam.
Ma Salama
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ummziba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ummziba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 July 2005 at 6:54am

Assalamu alaikum Sister habebe39,

I know this will sound silly, but, you should not let language be a barrier to making friends with the Muslimahs in your area.  Of course they are going to be more comfortable speaking in their mother tongue and will often slip back into it when you are there, don't let that stop you.

Where I live, there are only four Muslim families.  When we four sisters get together I am invariably "left out" as they slip into Arabic and chat.  At first, this really bothered me, I felt so left out.  Over time, I have learned that I do feel better visiting with them than not, so I take them any way I can, because I remember how lonely it was before I found any Muslims in my city.

I interject often in the conversation with things like "what did she say?', or "was she talking about her son?" and so on.  They are getting better and better at remembering to mostly talk English when I am around.  The bonus is I get to "hang out" with some wonderful, fun and pious sisters while picking up a second language to boot!  What could be better?

Look at all the different languages people on this forum speak, yet, somehow, we all manage to understand one another.  Try not to look at their speaking their language in front of you as an insult or snub of any kind, they just find it easier.  If you make an extra effort to be friendly and open with them, I am sure they will eventually invite you into their "inner circle" of friends.  And, try hard to pick up a few words in their language - they will love you for the effort!

I wish you the best and hope that you will be able to make friends with some of the women around you.  I know from experience how lonely it can be with no Muslims to talk to.

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Rose View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rose Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 July 2005 at 9:44am

Originally posted by habebe39 habebe39 wrote:

I am 39 American Muslim. I embraced Islam 13 years ago and I have two beautiful kids ages 8 & 11. I am divorced & happily so. I am living in Northern California. I am orginally from New York. There is a huge population of muslims here. Very few American Muslims. I think I have only met three in six years having lived here. When I lived in New York there were fewer muslims and a higher likelyhood that we were a tight knit group. I miss that immensely. I wish I had a group of very close sisters here to really bond with. Language is a huge barrier. I only speak English. People who can speak multiple languages have a high tendancy to gather among those who speak their native language and without being aware of it I feel so left out. The sisters in Phili were excellent, may were so religious and friendly. We had so much fun in the name of Islam.

I just want to tell you that language is not a problem, I don't talk my native languge that good and I still get along well. And trust me you will learn fast And pick up simple words from them. And don't be shy to ask what they're  saying.

Good luck and salam

A thorn defends the rose,harming only those who would steal the blossom
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ummsaleh View Drop Down
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Joined: 09 July 2005
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ummsaleh Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 July 2005 at 10:28am
I'm an american muslim in saudi, I have so many muslim friends from many countries and enjoy learning many new cultures and yummy food.
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