Things I find hard since coming to Islam

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Asalamalaikm seekshidayath,

Thank you, but I think you give me too much credit.  I know they were very strong in the prophets day, and did so without much complaint. I cannot honestly say I am anywhere near that level.

Although I am doing the good thing, I still am pouting about it (obviously) and not to happy with not being able to dance. however Allah swt has his ways and I think I might be coming to a rewad for being generally good about it. Shortly after making this post my mind became busy with the thought of advertising to the muslim community to perform at the women pre-wedding parties, as well I just came into contact with an aunt I havnt seen in 10 years and her girls want to learn ballet but they can't afford any extra cirricular activities so I'm going totry to make time to teach them and get them active and health y and reconnect with my family.

I was so depressed not being able to dance, I didn't understand why I was talented and longed for something I can't have. Maybe these are the ways I can have it. Allah swt knows best, and plans these things before we can understand them.

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mariacanadiana Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 December 2008 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 38	Post Options Post Reply Quote mariacanadiana Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 26 December 2008 at 7:07pm
	Asalamalaikm seekshidayath, Thank you, but I think you give me too much credit. I know they were very strong in the prophets day, and did so without much complaint. I cannot honestly say I am anywhere near that level. Although I am doing the good thing, I still am pouting about it (obviously) and not to happy with not being able to dance. however Allah swt has his ways and I think I might be coming to a rewad for being generally good about it. Shortly after making this post my mind became busy with the thought of advertising to the muslim community to perform at the women pre-wedding parties, as well I just came into contact with an aunt I havnt seen in 10 years and her girls want to learn ballet but they can't afford any extra cirricular activities so I'm going totry to make time to teach them and get them active and health y and reconnect with my family. I was so depressed not being able to dance, I didn't understand why I was talented and longed for something I can't have. Maybe these are the ways I can have it. Allah swt knows best, and plans these things before we can understand them.

mariacanadiana Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 December 2008 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 38	Post Options Post Reply Quote mariacanadiana Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 December 2008 at 10:44am
	Asalamalaikum Andromeda! You don't have to give up Christmas completely, My new husband and I went to christmas dinner with my family. You can celebrate it as a cultural family get together tradition, just don't go to midnight mass. You can still wish them merry christmas and give them gifts. Just because we don't celebrate Christmas doesn't mean we have to pretend like christmas doesnt exist. Private message me your email and I will send you a khutbah my husband wrote regarding how muslims should behave towards christmas :) I will be honest, it take me a long time to learn language, it took me months to learn fatiha and almost 2 years to learn the entire prayer. I started off with a cheat sheet off to the side of me so I could look at it while praying and prayed with people when I could so I could get the sounds down, and listened to quran online and online recitation with my cheet sheet and practiced practiced practice. With 5 times a day it will happen, dont stress over it :) There was a hadith about not having pictures of people or animals ont he walls, I don't remember the exact one byt I know seekshidayath will know it. The reason being is it could ne considered a form of worrship by being in such a high and prominate place in your home (thats one argument I remember).You can have pictures of flowers and scenery. Do your research and decide for yourself, I know muslims who have framed pictures of family, just not on their walls. Please feel free to pm me and we can perhaps exchange msn contacts. I know its hard going through it on your own. I'm here for you sis! Maria Edited by mariacanadiana - 27 December 2008 at 10:46am

mariacanadiana Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 December 2008 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 38	Post Options Post Reply Quote mariacanadiana Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 December 2008 at 11:32am
	Peace to you Believer :) It does not say to not dance in the quran, it says to act in modest behaviour, dress modestly, and my conslusion to that means that certain dancing is therefore not modest for me. WIth some of the bollywood pieces I have performed I can honestly say they were probably over sexualized, and it didn't exactly make me feel good performing those. I have been considering modern dance, I am trying to find the happy balance within myself. I wouldn't say I was a great dancer, I was denied it as a child because we couldnt afford it so I had begun my ballet training as an adult, and in 2 years got my first chance at pointe. Sicne then I have done african, classical indian and bollywood. I do love to dance, but I pulled away to make sure I was doing things right, the stage and performing can be an addiction - the adrenelene, I don't want to be addicted to anything. Thank you for the modern dance suggestion, inshaAllah I will find the happy middle path regarding my dance desires. Edited by mariacanadiana - 27 December 2008 at 1:10pm

seekshidayath Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Islam Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 3357	Post Options Post Reply Quote seekshidayath Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 27 December 2008 at 11:23pm
	As Salamu Alaikum Welcome to the our boards of discussions Andromeda. We wish you to stay active with us and hope you are in touch with sis Maria as well. Hanging up pictures of animate beings inside houses or elsewhere deprives the people of that place of a great deal of good, which is the angels� entering that house. That hadith which is from the book of Imam Ahmad is like this : Narrated from Abu Sa�eed al-Khudri (RA} that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: �The angels do not enter a house in which there are statues or images.� If those pics are of dead, then it renews grief and serves no useful purpose; it may even lead to some kind of veneration which goes against Tawheed. Let us not forget that the shirk committed by the people of Nooh (peace be upon him) started because they set up pictures and images of some righteous people who had lived among them. If you wish to read more as how people of Noah AS, started shirk - here it is. With regards to dancing, its not permissible since those dance movements may cause fitnah amongst other men and the audience who view it. Moreover, these bollywood numbers, {songs} do contain many words of shirk. Sister Maria, do you understand the language of those bollywood songs ? Such songs are not even heard by practicing muslims here. Andromeda, as Sis Maria said, you can go for shoppings at christmas, stay in touch with your family as well. Infact Islam, teaches us to get closer to a family, after embracing Islam. So feel free and i pray you overcome these fears soon. Alhamdullilah, sis Maria has extended her help, you can also contact sis Hayfa thru PM. She is also a revert and helps muslims here as how to offer salah, until you get those chapters learnt. Or i shall write to sis Hayfa. InshaAllah, she shall contact you. Edited by seekshidayath - 27 December 2008 at 11:37pm
	Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."

Andromeda Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 26 December 2008 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3	Post Options Post Reply Quote Andromeda Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 December 2008 at 2:51am
	As Salamu Alaikum Thank you for informing me of the reasons as to why we are not allowed photos in the home, i understand the reasoning for this. Maria has been of great help to me already. How do i get in touch with Hayfa? As the Salat is something i am struggling the most with. Any help would be very much appreciated. Thank you

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 December 2008 at 3:26am
	Salaams Maria, Andromeda and Hunter, I can totally understand about dance, I would feel the same if I had to give up karate. It is a blessing that I do not. Our uniforms are a tad bit more covered.. But after 17 years, exercise is a part of me. And it is not just any exercise, things like dance, karate etc. involve mental focus as well as physical exercise. It helps me out so much mentally to do it and feel 100% better afterwards. I can go to the gym and it�s not quite the same. It may be similar for you with dance. When I am not here I still do exercise as it is really good mentally and emotionally, not just physically. Are you able to do any type of exercise? It must be hard as it gives you so much enjoyment� can you find other activities to do that are physical? Andromeda, I too find Christmas is hard. Actually not for religious reasons, for I stopped being an actually Christian a long time ago. But the shared communal activities. I still go to see some family at that time as it is really when one can as people have time off. So I tend to eat too much, same as usual� lol And yes, missing out on the gift-giving�. And when I go it is not the same, nor will it ever. Its not so much that I can�t �go back.� But knowing what I know, I cannot. It is actually easier in a way in my family as my siblings are not religious. So no worries about going to Church.. lol Here is a scholar talking about it� http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1229951077750&pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar%2FFatwaE%2FFatwaEAskTheScholar Learning about prayers.. well I have never been to good at them.. Its all Greek to me so to speak. I still am half English, half Arabic� for me, I want to remember what I am saying. Honestly if I don�t think about the words my mind drifts a lot more. And take heart really, you know after age 12 or so, one cannot completely learn a new language as a native speaker. And unless you are fluent in many languages, and many Americans are not fluent in more than one, it is VERY hard to learn a new language. And its not like we are getting it from the ground up as you would in an Intro to Quaranic Arabic. Ww are memorizing a few words and sentences and yet nothing is tied to the greater language. So give yourself a break, take your time and go at your pace.. Really, I am waiting for the "Idiots Guide to Quranic Arabic"... lol Hunter, Wow you are really isolated. I think it is quite common for we �new� Muslims. Unfortunately we cannot be transplanted in a Muslim area of the world. Of course nothing is perfect but the advantage of that is that we can find friends more easily. Not all Muslims share common values. I think the interent has been a blessing for us. I cannot imagine the isolation 15 years ago. At least we know we are not alone, especially as reverts. There are places to go to engage the mind at least.
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

mariacanadiana Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 December 2008 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 38	Post Options Post Reply Quote mariacanadiana Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 December 2008 at 9:15am
	Asalamalaikum Seekshiayath, No I do not know the language of those bollywood songs, I only knew the translation my friend at that time gave me. they were pretty innocent wedding songs. but that is besides the point, you cannot be mad at me for thing sI have done in the past or for what I didn't know at that time. where specifically is "muslims here"?

mariacanadiana Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 05 December 2008 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 38	Post Options Post Reply Quote mariacanadiana Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 December 2008 at 9:22am
	Asalamalaikum Hayfa, Alhamdulillah I am trying my best. I work in a ladies fitness club so I am staying active, but I havn't found something to replace that feeling yet. I like martial arts but hitting and kicking people is something I cannot bring myself to do. But you are right, it is the dicipline I miss, the mental discipline, the conditioning of the body, the focus, and also the beauty and elegance. I keep praying to find something that is better for me that I will enjoy. wow I didn't know that about after age 12. that make sme feel a lot better about how long it took me to learn salat. It took me 2 yyears befoe I could perform salat without my sheet with the words on it. I am just finally getting to the point of getting past distractions, you really hav to focus, the mind wanders so easily.