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Imani View Drop Down
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Joined: 21 October 2008
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Points: 92 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Imani Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 1:21am
salam sharon.
Your emotions are very strong. Do not let your heart take control over you.
Please be focused in life. Be very ready for any change in life. Remember that we can not always have what we want. Dont try to build castles in the air. It is definately in possible to do that.
Let ALLAH get absolute control over you and your affairs. What ever the result may be do not be sad or worried although it hirts.
Your husband is being nice to you because he knows his role in this matter of yours. So dont be overwhelmed by his actions.
I do not know you but i must say that you are a very soft person as far as emotions are concerned.Smile
So please wake up for yourself and your boys.
Be ever ready for any change in life.
Life is full of agonies and sorrow. Inshalla if you are able to over come them you will gain a handsome reward from ALLAH.
Tell yourself that you can live with or without him with the help and mercy of ALLAH.
Stay blessed and may ALLAH bestow his mercy upon you always. Amen!Big%20smile


Edited by Imani - 26 November 2008 at 1:36am
"But those who believe and do righteous deeds are the best of all creatures."(surah98:7)
peace for all peace for the nation. To Allah indeed we are to return. SALAM
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sharonjundi View Drop Down
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Points: 34 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sharonjundi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 5:11am
Hello again

I am giving up on the relationship with my husband and I.
I think it is a losing battle for me. I have to move on
in my life and take care of myself. I am getting sick
with my nerves over this. I believe ALLAH will help me
at this time, but I need to realize that my husband does
not love me and want to be with me. So I need to be strong and just say that it is over. It hurts so much
to give up on him, but I will be crazy if I do not give
up. I always believed that we all have a soulmate in
life but I guess I lost mine.

May ALLAH bless us all.
I will pray to ALLAH to give me the strength and the
guidance and to keep the faith strong in my life.

Sharon

Edited by sharonjundi - 26 November 2008 at 5:13am
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 7:05am
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.As always im very pleased to hear from you sister.You and your family are in my prayers much lately.It is o.k that he is being nice.These things are very complicated for both of you and he knows that you hurt.It seems that you are coming to realize that the end of you two is near?Im so sorry for that,but know that Allah is Most Gracious Most MercifullYou must seek Him for strength.Your husban is nice because it is what Allah wants read Surah 2 221-232 it is where Allah speaks of marriage and divorce,and what a man and women should do.I never received an answer for do you have any wali?If not that I will be.May Allah except our intentions.
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 8:10am
Originally posted by sharonjundi sharonjundi wrote:

Hello again,
I am really having a bad day today. My emotions are
really bizarre. It is so hard to cope with this reality
now. My husband has never mentioned anything about getting another wife. Do you believe that their is a soulmate for everyone?   I am about to give up on this
relationship totally. I am tired of being upset and
why is he so nice lately?
To your question about the income, he works and I
work part-time and going to go back full time soon.
I need to get a full time job to take care of myself.
I just do not want to be alone at this age and I do
not want to be with anyone else except him. I know
that my sound selfish, but after so many years together
I can not accept that he is gone and will never be back.
I wish he would not be so nice, unless he has plans in
the future with me. Please tell me what is the reason
for being so nice to me.
I try to stay busy all the time, but I think about him
80 percent of the time. Every where I go, I see something that reminds me of him. The memories are so
strong all the time.   I need help..... I feel like I
have a disease that will not cure. I do not know what
to do anyone.   I am so afraid that he is being nice
so he can finally leave me forever. That this his exit
in my life. He pays the house note and he has paid it
for the next 2 months ahead of time. How can he do so
much for me lately, and then not love me anymore.
I want him back home, but he talks like it is over.
It is as if I can get a full time job and then he will
be gone forever, as long as I can support myself.
I keep praying for a change to happen, but am I wasting
my time on wanting him back in my life.

I hope you will continue to pray for me and that ALLAH
will help me soon on what to do and to be a stronger
person now, as I need help.

May ALLAH bless us all.

Sharon
As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.Its always pleasing to hear from you.Yes I do believe that there is a soulmate for everyone.And I also believe that love does not die. Sometimes it retiers though.You are not wasting your time waiting for him to come back,After four months of time he must decide.In this life we as people try to make decissions for ourselves based on our wants and needs.We have to seek what Allah wants for us and what Allah wants for us is the best for us.Sister Sharon for every sickness there is a cure.He does things for you because he loves you in away that someone who cares should.If he talks like its over then it has to be excepted.Im sorry but, know this Sister your life is not over and Allah does not allow us to suffer for long.Your faith is with Allah not your husban.You say that you dont want to be alone at your age?You are hurting and I also hurt with you for I have never had the pleasure of having the love of a Muslim women.You two have been blessed to have had 28yrs together.Can you two possibly find a way to spark some passion in your lives?Example)You share a passion for Allah.May Allah give strength and heal you aching heart.(Ameen)Please write back you are not along Allah is ever present.(Seek Him)

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 26 November 2008 at 4:58pm
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 11:49am

Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

,After four months of time he must decide.

 

Is this a fiqh position Akhe Abdullah?

 

Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

You say that you dont want to be alone at your age? may I ask what that is?

 

What is the relevance in knowing her age?
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 6:34pm
Surah 2 Ayat 224-227                             Bismilla ARahman ARahim           And make not Allah's (name) an excuse In your oaths against Doing good,or acting rightly,Or making peace Between persons; For Allah is One Who heareth and knoweth All things. Allah will not Call you to account For thoughtlessness In your oaths, But for the intention In your hearts,And He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. For those who take An oath for Abstention From their wives,A waiting for four months Is ordained; If then they return, Allah is Oft-Forgiving,Most Merciful. But if their intention Is firm for divorce, Allah heareth And Knoweth all things.

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 26 November 2008 at 6:35pm
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 6:52pm
Originally posted by abuayisha abuayisha wrote:

<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN">
Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

,After four months of time he must decide.
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<P =Msonormal style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><SPAN lang=EN style="FONT-SIZE: 9pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; mso-ansi-: EN">
Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

You say that you dont want to be alone at your age? may I ask what that is?
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As salaamulaikum Abuayisha.The Sister brought up age.I asked May I ask.It wasnt direct and I have edited it out now,for the sake of I may have been wrong.I am sorry. Ribbigh-fir leeI am only trying to help her and I am not trying to over step my bounderies(Inshallah)I always say Dua May Allah except our intentions.(Ameen)
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sharonjundi View Drop Down
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Points: 34 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sharonjundi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 November 2008 at 8:01pm
Hello again,

Thank you so much for your kindness. I feel like I need
a lot of prayer at this time and I will always pray for
ALLAH to make me stronger everyday and that you will continue to pray for me and my husband at this time.
I need the strength from ALLAH more than ever in my life.
I will pray that things will be ok for me now. I will
try to live my life like ALLAH wants me to and that someday I will be a stronger person and live my life,
either with my husband or by myself.
Please continue to pray for me.

Thank you so much for being their for me lately.

May ALLAH bless us and keep us all safe and stronger each day of our lives.

Sharon

Edited by sharonjundi - 26 November 2008 at 8:02pm
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