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marriage

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fais View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 August 2009
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 August 2009 at 3:44am
hello sister
Salam.hope you can give some advise to me,
 
I got married 2 years back in saudi arabia with my seconf cousin,she is wonderful lady full of life and with a very clean heart,its love marraige and it took a great effort for us to convince her father for this marraige,
 
she fell in love with me 4 years back and she was mad about me,whatever i say whatever i do she was really interested,then after a 2 yr longdistance relation as she was in saudi and i was in india we finally got married,now according to the saudi system girl get married first in sharia court and then the boy gets time to set all the things for the girl and then take formally with a valima party.
 
after marraige i had to go back to india as i had a fight with my employer,now i am here after one year,she is still with her father and i plan to take her with me in november.
after this gap of one year she has developed a starnge disease,when ever i approach her for sex she gets a very bad smell from me and this forces her to hate sex,and recently she also complaint that when she talk to me she feels suffocated and just want to hang up as soon as possible and this has created a great problem for me as i am alone in riyadh and now a days her good qualities like her high confidence and ability to handle difficult situations makes me feel inferior,this is happeneing since she has become very mechanical to me on the phone and her nonparticipation in any of the sexual talk.
 
earlier she loved to be physical with me but now even the thought of it horrifies her,last time we had a fight on the phone as she was rude to me for no reason and i made her cry when she was attending a party and i was and i agree i did a mistake and i said sorry to her,but after this incident she dont me that she might leave me.
 
now the girl who chose me leaving all the rich boys with saudi nationality with high income,the girl who loved my sexual moves says that she might leave me if this problem continues.
 
i am really surprised with her,i left the whole world behind for her,my career,my house everything for her and because of this badsmell problem she says she might leave me,she sounds so selfish i know she has problem,the smell is so bad that she feel like vomiting but instead of finding a solution she says time will solve this problem.
 
I think this is a problem of al ain which means bad eye of someone on our relation or it is possible that someone has done seher on her means black magic,but she is not interested in taking any step to solve this problem accept reading sura bakra.i fight with her frequently and she is just happy with my thought and not my presence,she loves me a lot and i adont want to leave her.
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fais View Drop Down
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Joined: 24 August 2009
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fais Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 September 2009 at 1:49am

Dear sisters,

I am sorry for entering this forum as it is for women only i think,but my problem can be well understood by a woman than any male so i am here seeking your advise,
 
I got married 2 years back in saudi arabia with my seconf cousin,she is wonderful lady full of life and with a very clean heart,its love marraige and it took a great effort for us to convince her father for this marraige,
 
she fell in love with me 4 years back and she was mad about me,whatever i say whatever i do she was really interested,then after a 2 yr longdistance relation as she was in saudi and i was in india we finally got married,now according to the saudi system girl get married first in sharia court and then the boy gets time to set all the things for the girl and then take formally with a valima party.
 
after marraige i had to go back to india as i had a fight with my employer,now i am here after one year,she is still with her father and i plan to take her with me in november.
after this gap of one year she has developed a starnge disease,when ever i approach her for sex she gets a very bad smell from me and this forces her to hate sex,and recently she also complaint that when she talk to me she feels suffocated and just want to hang up as soon as possible and this has created a great problem for me as i am alone in riyadh and now a days her good qualities like her high confidence and ability to handle difficult situations makes me feel inferior,this is happeneing since she has become very mechanical to me on the phone and her nonparticipation in any of the sexual talk.
 
earlier she loved to be physical with me but now even the thought of it horrifies her,last time we had a fight on the phone as she was rude to me for no reason and i made her cry when she was attending a party and i was and i agree i did a mistake and i said sorry to her,but after this incident she dont me that she might leave me.
 
now the girl who chose me leaving all the rich boys with saudi nationality with high income,the girl who loved me says that she might leave me if this problem continues.
 
i am really surprised with her,i left the whole world behind for her,my career,my house everything for her and because of this badsmell problem she says she might leave me,she sounds so selfish i know she has problem,the smell is so bad that she feel like vomiting but instead of finding a solution she says time will solve this problem.
 
I think this is a problem of al ain which means bad eye of someone on our relation or it is possible that someone has done seher on her means black magic,but she is not interested in taking any step to solve this problem accept reading sura bakra.i fight with her frequently and she is just happy with my thought and not my presence,she loves me a lot and i adont want to leave her.
 
I have posted this as "i wanna save my marraige"plz comment sisters
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Shasta'sAunt View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shasta'sAunt Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 September 2009 at 4:57am

Salaams Brother:

It sounds to me as though she has changed her mind about you and just doesn't want to be married anymore. Maybe she was too young, or her family put pressure on her, or she just decided you are not what she wants.
 
There is probably no smell, she just doesn't want to tell you the truth and this is her way of keeping you away. It's easier than telling you she wants out of the marriage because she changed her mind.
 
If she really loved you and wanted to stay with you she would try anything possible to try and solve any problem and she would not be satisfied with being separated from you for any reason.
 
If you want to see how she really feels, tell her that you feel this problem needs to be solved or you want a divorce. If she does nothing or agrees to divorce you, you have your answer. 
 
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
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