My mother won’t look at me in hijab

Asslamualaikum J.R.

Yes it will really be a tough time for you. It is very difficult to tolerate the indifferent attitude of near and dear ones and especially parents. But it is a trial in your life. Inshallah you will be successful in it.

Sister Ummziba is very right:

"This is really their loss, not yours, dear.  Please keep in mind first and formost that the life of this world is a prison for the believers.  We will go through many, many trials, some which seem to break our hearts beyond mending."

Allah is there to help. He loves His people more than 70 mothers. Strong faith in Allah will enable you to be steadfast and patient in this time of trouble. Mashallah you have a very good example before you in the form of sister Ummziba.

We all are here to pray for you.

MAy Allah help you.

Ma Salaam

J.R.,

Your mama is a Christian, right? Write to her and gently remind her that Jesus turned no one away, not even a pagan. Remind here that Islam has the same God and the same prophets. It is not as if you denied God and became a religion that did not believe there was a God at all.

I wish I could talk to your mama. I work in Critical Care and have seen the most horrible things that could happen to people. She has you healthy and whole and does not want to see you. I have had mothers that would have given up their own lives so that their adult child could just have another day. Her attitude is not Christian at all and very selfish (sorry, I know you love your mama). Ask her if all cancer patients that wear scarfs around their bald heads scare her too.

I feel like your mother is trying to force you to make a decision about your faith.  There is nothing wrong with the faith you have chosen and your mama is being very rigid in not trying to investigate further. I think she watches the news and listens to stereotypes as her guide to Islam. Be patient. I do not see how your mama can stay away from you for long. You are her daughter. If she does not want to see you right now then let her have her time but continue writing her in e-mails and continue telling her that you love her. Also, ask her to talk to someone that knows something about Islam (but, Oh God, not a Baptist preacher).

Also, try sending her the "Idiot's Guide to Islam", yes there is a book out there called this. It is non-threatening literature and it is short and to the point. Maybe one day she will pick it up and read it. You have to arm her with all the information that you can.

Again, I am sorry this is happening to you. If you were my daughter, I would take you anyway I could get you, even if I did not agree.

Pray.........

Lameese

J.R. wrote: Assalamu Alaikum, You're right, sister Lameese, my mother is trying to force me to make a decision about my religion. You said it. I feel if I took off hijab then she'd feel I'm not THAT serious about Islam and that in turn would make her feel better. But me refusing to take it off shows her how much I believe in Islam and that hurts her. Thank you again for yoru comforting words. Yes, my mother is Catholic and she's not acting very Christian- like. Allah hafiz, J.R.

J.R.

You are right, your mother is not acting very Christian right now. And you are right to stand by your beliefs. You are an adult now and she would throw it in your face later if you take of your Hijab.

Can you call the Preist where she goes to Church and talk to him so that he may talk to her and remind her that Jesus turned no one away. Explain to the Preist that you are Muslim now and that you want your mother to accept you even if she disagrees with your choice of religions. Ask the Preist to interviene. Your mother will listen to him.

Again, I am so sorry this is happening to you. And I cannot for the life of me understand why she is acting this way. She is very lucky that it was your religion you changed and that she did not get a call saying that there was nothing else to do and she was going to loose you. She has what a lot of parents I know would die for.

Lameese

Assalamu alaikum Sister Julia,

Welcome and glad to have your input.  I would urge you not to be so hard on yourself.  Humans make mistakes.  Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

It is never too late to try to improve your deen.  It is certainly not too late to start to make those positive changes now.  Don't let the ignorance of others deter you from worshipping Allah in the way He asks us to.

Pray with all sincerity to Allah, He answers the prayers of all who pray sincerely.  You will find in prayer and in reading Qur'an an inner strength that will help you to have the courage you need to wear hijab again.

When ever you encounter troubles because of your hijab remember that Allah tries all the believers in various ways in this life.  Some trials are hard and others are seemingly impossible.  Never let that stop your sincere worship of Allah.

Let us know how you are progressing, or if there is anything we can do to help.

I will pray that Allah helps you with strength and courage, Sister.  Always keep in mind: "Verily, Allah will not deal unjustly with man in aught: it is man that wrongs his own soul."  Qur'an 10:44

Peace, ummziba.