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Why men cheat? |
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Nur_Ilahi 
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Joined: 19 January 2008 Status: Offline Points: 1031 |
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 Topic: Why men cheat?Posted: 10 February 2008 at 6:53am |
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Salam everyone. We do hear stories of men cheating their loved ones, whether it be wives or girlfriends. There must be reason for this. Not that women do not cheat, but there are more cases of men cheating. Hope to hear some reasons behind this practice. I got to go now, see u all again. Tks n rgds
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Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention.
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abuayisha
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Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105 |
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Posted: 10 February 2008 at 7:01am |
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Proximity, opportunity, complicity (support of women) and weakness or lack of faith - what say you?
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Israfil
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Posted: 10 February 2008 at 9:37am |
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I can't say anything different than what Abuayisha said but I will say this thread is an extension of many irrelevant topics we discussed. I will extend abuayisha's nicely said comments. Cheaters regardless of sex have the same reasons why they cheat. Even if statistics show men cheat more than women does not necessitate anything except what abu noted-opportunity. In California women outnumber men with a ratio of 10 to 1. I'm a hot commodity (not trying to toot my own horn) because I have a career, education, no kids, and I keep myself fit. In this kind of society you will attract many women both single and married. What does a single man like myself do? Imagine if I was married.It seems most of these things happen where I work and where I live and has become a constant phenomenon where I live this is where proximity comes in going back to abuayisha's comment. So to ask the question why men cheat would be the same question we ask women. Women and men cheat virtually for the same reasons. |
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layalee
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Joined: 04 August 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 157 |
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Posted: 10 February 2008 at 11:12am |
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In the 'muslim world' do anyone feel as if muslim men and woman will cheat less versus men and woman that follow other faiths or no particular faith at all? Also do a muslim woman have a right to tell their husband that they DO NOT want a co-wife? I was once told I should not deny a man 'his sunnah' if he wanted another wife. I was interested in knowing what others think. I would wonder if I told him no, or told him I did not want that, it would lead him to cheating...... (im not married yet, but I am considering marriage to a brother) |
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Angel
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Joined: 03 July 2001 Status: Offline Points: 6641 |
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Posted: 10 February 2008 at 10:54pm |
In some of my earlier days of IC, there have been some discussions on this. Many sisters have mentioned that you can put in the marriage contract not to have another wife. If you want you can try to search the old forum, the link is up to in the right hand corner and then try the women's corner. |
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 ~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Angel
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Posted: 10 February 2008 at 11:12pm |
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people change and fall out of love, grow apart, also. There is also evidence (which I don't have on me) that we are not all a monogamy species while some people can maintain monogamy. In males its generally in biology to go out and so their seeds so to speak and in women to a lesser degree, women pick males that are strong and healthly that can bear them the best of kids. It also comes down to the survival of the species. Some people really forget that, we are animals too and we do what we can do to keep the species alive whether we are aware or not, for which i think many people are unware what they do, so when some are asked why and the answer is "it just happened" well you can assume that its just part of human nature's blue print. |
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~ Our feet are earthbound, but our hearts and our minds have wings ~
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Angela
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Posted: 11 February 2008 at 5:51am |
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As I posted on another forum, the biggest reason people cheat is not sex. Its something much more.
Fundamentally, a person cheats because they are lacking something in their relationship and communication is poor. There are many reasons men and women cheat. Intimacy, Lack of Excitement Sexually, Their Partner has changed (physically or emotionally), Risk, Boredom, Opportunity (this includes those, drunken "what did I do" moments that some groups have), the person has fallen out of love but feels to trapped to leave. I watched a show on the biology of infidelity and they showed several species where the female will pick a male who is a good provider but step out. And we all know about males in the animal kingdom. With humans we are at war with ourselves. Mind, Body, Soul. We have urges and instincts like animals but we have reason and intelligence. No matter what the laws (Sharia, Judaic, secular) you will always have those who fail this battle. That's why repentance and mercy are so important in our relationship with God. |
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Nur_Ilahi
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Joined: 19 January 2008 Status: Offline Points: 1031 |
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Posted: 11 February 2008 at 6:55am |
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No matter what the laws (Sharia, Judaic, secular) you will always have those who fail this battle. That's why repentance and mercy are so important in our relationship with God. Agreed Angela. That is why in the Quran THE MOST COMPASSIONATE AND MOST MERCIFUL appeared about 113 times. It is in the beginning of all the chapters of the Al-Quran. Allah is also Al-Ghafur - Most Forgiving. I believe the rules and commands in the Quran is for the whole of mankind. Perhaps the reason for fornication is that men were not given their rights that is to have more than 4 wives - for those who can fulfill the conditions - of course. Let us say that all the rich men are allowed to marry 4 wives, there is a posisbility that there will not even be an unmarried woman around. So even men who are married has got no chance of flirting around with unmarried woman. And vice-versa.
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Ilahi Anta Maksudi, Wa Redhaka Mathlubi - Oh Allah, You are my destination, Your Pleasure is my Intention.
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layalee wrote: