Abused Muslim Women in U.S.

"Walid, are you really saying that a woman does not have the right to defend herself? What if her husband is in the "wrong" with the abuse? Considering that there are several conditions that would need to have happened and things a man must do and this rarely happens? What are her rights?"

Sister Hayfa,

I never said if women�s life is in danger she shouldn't defend herself by all means. I have been in US for more than thirty years and I'm not ready to introduce something I didn't find in Islam. However, I stand to be corrected by dalil.  

Man is the captain of the house. His example is prophet Muhammad pbuh. While the prophet didn't beat any of his wives he let his companion to discipline their wives in very dignified way. No hitting face or causing bodily harm. If you look all tafasirs you will find that some ulima said let he beat her with Imamah, others said, (Haser or mat string which is very thin). That shows the beating is more symbolic than actual bodily harm.

To say, "Believe me, in my heart I would risk losing my chance to go to heaven to defend a woman that has an abusive husband" shows how some American sisters want to cross all logics let alone some of our deen. Moreover, to reject Hadith in Bukhari and Muslim that give green lights the parents to discipline their kids who don't pray show how we belittle the sunnah.

Sister, in a nutshell, Islamic marriage/house must be a refuge from life troublesome. It�s a peace place where love and caring prevail.
But we know we are humans and have shortcoming all the times. If women cross the line and other remedies didn't work then husband is allowed to do what he was prescribed in Islam to do without abusing it. If someone wants to call it domestic violence and use western stats which has little do in mulsim minority or could be true or exaggerated then that is up to them.

 I did counseling for so many families during eighties and nineties and still do from time to time and I never saw people questioning what is in Islam but I saw like me questioning how husbands discharge this duty after exhausting all other remedies. I found most of abused women generally come from certain communities (generally middle eastern, Asians, or African Americans, Latinos, converts who married to Arabs/Asians/Africans, Latinos). I found the macho mentality is forced by this culture that play dualism in relationship and marketplace. But I found most families generally stay together with imperfect situations despite imams etc literally intervine many converts who were in danger from drug addicted/culturally oriented abusive husbands.

Let Quran/sunnah prescription stand and repel abusive husband from using it to endanger the life of spouses. With that we can save our Islam from innovation in the pretex of defending abused women. Always, we lose when we don't follow the correct presecribtion of Islam

Walid