Help for a friend |
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Fear_Allah
Senior Member Female Joined: 24 August 2006 Status: Offline Points: 217 |
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Posted: 17 August 2007 at 10:46am |
ِAssalam alikom,
Thanks brother,I got the point... |
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Our LORD! accept from us. You indeed, You are the all-Hearing, the all-Knowing. (2:127)
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Her_Husband
Starter Joined: 13 August 2007 Status: Offline Points: 10 |
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Dear sister, Sorry for my late reply. it is an honor for me to comment on your posts and I would love to see the people trying to help others to put them on the right way BUT with out gettinig affected in their lives, May allah bless you all and help you and keep you on the right direction, inshallah always, well, I am not sure about the answer of your question, listen sister: this is the way how I look at your question, when people do mistakes then it is something great to try to help them and fix their lives BUT it is also something important to keep their privacy, you posted here the trouble of that girl but you did good by not giving any informations about that girl to keep her privacy secure, so if you will refer a girl to her to help her then wouldn't that mean you will have to tell that girl everything about your friend??? then that would be like you are making a scandle to your friend and you will be looking like you are walking around and tell everybody about what your friend did and what she is still doing, I think your way will be offensive to your friend, since you can't refer a girl to your friend with out telling that girl everything about your friend (cause you have to tell the girl everything about your friend before referring her so that the girl will choose to accept to help your friend or not and also to be ready for her and how to help her), so I bilieve that it is better to ask your friend if you can refer a girl to her to talk to her and try to help her and then if your freind will accept that then do it but if she will not accept that then leave it to God, he will deal with it and he knows what he is doing, so my dear sister, really the question you asked me is not for me but it is for her,
I hope I answered your question and I made my point though only God can know what is the right thing to do, God bless you all and thank you all for all the help you are trying to give here and for all the nice and serious topics. |
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Fear_Allah
Senior Member Female Joined: 24 August 2006 Status: Offline Points: 217 |
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ehem ehem!!!
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Our LORD! accept from us. You indeed, You are the all-Hearing, the all-Knowing. (2:127)
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Fear_Allah
Senior Member Female Joined: 24 August 2006 Status: Offline Points: 217 |
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Assalam alikom,
Thanks brother and sisters for your replies, It's honorable for me brother"Her_Husband"that your first post is in my topic. Yes,I do show her that I disapprove what she does all the time. You know,I feel like playing on two wings,Speaking gently about her daily life and other things Besides advising her between the lines. I know myself as I'm not that good adviser.But you know,I say that I'm better than nothing as I told you before that she nearly doesn't have muslim friends. I know that one day will come and I'll leave her when my college starts.As you said,My studies are very important for my life and future.But Allah"swt" will be with her... And of course brother "Her_Husband",Making prayers should be accompanied with working.One can not say I pray and doesn't study.Of course he'll fail. Finally,I think now that I may try to find one of my friends to befriend that girl.I try to find someone more knowledgeable than me and also may continue speaking with her.I know these matters need time.But I'll be unable to speak to that girl soon.A moth later may be inshaa Allah.Do you think it is a good idea?Or it will be offensive for the girl? May Allah"swt" bless all of you... Edited by Fear_Allah |
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Our LORD! accept from us. You indeed, You are the all-Hearing, the all-Knowing. (2:127)
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Her_Husband
Starter Joined: 13 August 2007 Status: Offline Points: 10 |
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Bismi allah al-rahman al-raheem al-salam alaikum, well, I know this forum is only for sisters (women), I am sorry if I am not supposed to be here, but I just want to support Salams_wife for what she said, I completely agree with what she has said, to pray for her (though you all know that our prophit Ibraheem asked God to help his father and guide him to bilieve in one God, but I think you all know what God did answer him) God said in qura'an that he will not change what is going on with people until those people change what is inside them, so it is really depend on us and on what is inside us, sometimes people choose the easy way just because it is easy and it makes them feel different, but it doesn't mean it is the right thing, to please allah, it needs hard work from us though God asked us to do what we can and not to try to do what we really can't, Islam is easy and clear, I will tell you what our prophit Mohammed (alaihi alsalat wa alsalam) has said in this topic: (if one of you saw something wrong then try to change it by his hands, if he couldn't then by his mouth, if he couldn't then by his heart and this is the weakest faith.) by his hands means: to change it immediately if he can by his mouth means: to talk, to tell, that this thing is wrong by his heart means: to refuse it inside his or her heart and soul, yes the prophit (alaihi alsalat wa alsalam) said this is the weakest faith but it is still faith and it is better than doing nothing, specially sometimes when we are powerless to change the wrong thing by our hands or our mouth, So dear sister (the one who posted this subject), you did really great by trying to help your friend, and I am gald that you tried, and yes keep trying with the best you can , BUT BUT BUT, if you feel that this thing is affecting your life then leave it cause it means this thing is more bigger than your abilities or your power, your life is more important for you and for your family to keep it going on the right direction and path, you did what you can and you did your best and I am sure you can do even more but it shouldn't affect your life, never, there are always responsibilities in your life and they have priority, so do for that girl what you can but if it strats to affect your life then leave it, there is always God and other people, do as the prophit (alaihi alsalat wa alsalam) has said: change it with your heart, refuse it dear sister and work hard that you and your kids will never be in that situation, and inshallah never. this is why I support what Salams_wife have said in this topic, and again I support her a lot in what she said and I am so glad for her nice selected words and idea and I am sure it came from her pure heart, May God bless and help and be with Salams_wife and all the sisters in this forum and all the good people in this world, and I hope he will guide us and all the people in this world to the right way and path that please him and open all the heaven doors for all of us, inshallah, ameen, Take care all of you and I hope to see more of those nice and good teaching discussions, good luck for the poster sister for this forum with her friend and most important WITH HER LIFE. |
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rookaiya
Senior Member Joined: 04 May 2005 Location: South Africa Status: Offline Points: 385 |
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asalamu alaikum we cant be held accountable for the actions of other people. some people are just too stubborn and no matter how hard you try to tell them the truth, they remain on the wrong path and find every petty excuse to justify their behaviour. i have a similar friend too, whom i care for very much but i dont agree with some of her behaviours. when i questioned her a few times, she felt that i was over reacting and she made me realise that in the end, Allah SWT is the ultimate judge. for the sake of peace, i no longer comment on her lifestyle. she knows that im against some of the unislamic things that she does and we opt not to talk about it anymore through my discussions with her, she made me realise that i too am lacking in so many areas islamically, and instead of picking on her faults, i should rather make myself a better muslimah first. its very hard not to judge those we care for, but who are we to judge. how perfect our our lives and practices? |
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"so surely with every difficulty there is relief. Surely with every difficulty there is relief. Surah 94. verses 5 and 6
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Fear_Allah
Senior Member Female Joined: 24 August 2006 Status: Offline Points: 217 |
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Assalam alikom,
I'd never speak to her again before I think of hearing of her stories and saying nothing.. Have you ever heard that who keeps his mouth shut on the right is a dumb Satan??? Moreover,I'm not that person who asks and asks.She herself likes me to speak with her about her secrets but my problem is that she justifies her actions strangely and doesn't like to be said wrong... May Allah help her and me as well.. Edited by Fear_Allah |
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Our LORD! accept from us. You indeed, You are the all-Hearing, the all-Knowing. (2:127)
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ak_m_f
Senior Member Joined: 15 October 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 3272 |
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She has every right to be angry, you should stop interfering in her personal life.
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