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Arranged-Marriage Series
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Hayfa View Drop Down
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Points: 2368 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hayfa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 12:44pm

no what part are you refering to? lol

Justhaving a candid discussion.. may not..hmmm
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Saladin View Drop Down
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Points: 575 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Saladin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 1:14pm
Hyposonic,

Where in the world is the face of a woman not shown to the prospective male? LOL

Even Taliban werent like that...

'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 1:26pm
Originally posted by Saladin Saladin wrote:


Where in the world is the face of a woman not shown to the prospective male? LOL

Even Taliban werent like that...

 
Strangely enough, I have a friend who, believe it or not, told me he did not see his wife's face until the night ("honeymoon" night) he was married!
 

Once, a companion told the Prophet that he was going to get married. The Prophet asked if he had seen her.  When the man replied in the negative, he said: "Go and look at her, for it is more likely to engender love between the two of you."  [Ahmad & Others]
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Saladin View Drop Down
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Points: 575 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Saladin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 2:05pm
"Go and look at her".........Aye! thats the sunnah.

Btw, just curious....is your friend still married to her?

'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 2:34pm
Yes, and now with young adult children.  I'm sure his female family members and relatives were telling him 'she's hilwa' and the like, but, that's a great deal of trust to convey to someone else.

Edited by abuayisha - 16 February 2009 at 2:38pm
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Saladin View Drop Down
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Points: 575 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Saladin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 4:49pm
Yeah, things more likely work out fine in families where there's mutual understanding and trust.

'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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Hyposonic View Drop Down
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Points: 247 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hyposonic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 10:07pm
HYposonic, how many teenagers do you know? Do you hand around them? When were you last around college age kids??  Do you now how young people think these days?
 

I�m sorry what does that have to do with anything?

 

"Its very interesting you brough up dress code."

 

It's a response to Chrysalis' biology explanation.

 

"And beleive it or not the abaya (long black robe type of garment) and the niqab is actually quite erotic."

 

you are muslim, and that is your culture. Of course you'll find the garments "erotic" but would an atheist or an agonostic or someone areligious find the garments erotic?

 

"I think also that the dress code really can build a bond between spouses as it really makes a relationship special for both men and women. "

 

Yes dress like anything can either build or destroy relationships [although it in itself is not the sole factor for either].

 

"its interesting to think that some men don't see 'much' and yet consent to marry."

 

Look, men who find the will to marry women through arranged marriages do so because of cultural influences. This is not some isolated phenomena where men prefer to marry women in arranged marriages versus dating. If I were raised in a Jewish household, I too, would perhaps succumb to those cultural influences but I'm not Jewish and therefore I am not. Besides there are non-traditional types of arrange marriages such as websites that connect people without their physical presence so I think people in each society has their own methods of obtaining their significant other.
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Hyposonic View Drop Down
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Points: 247 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hyposonic Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 February 2009 at 10:09pm
Hyposonic,

Where in the world is the face of a woman not shown to the prospective male? LOL

Even Taliban werent like that...
 
 
 

This is what I was referring to. So you said the Taliban wasn�t like that? Hmm, then I wonder why the �Burqa� was such a hot topic during the U.S. invasion? I believe Muslism call this the "niqab?" If I'm not mistaken. Either way, its a type of dress worn in the Muslim world.

 
In my final opinion on this matter this whole subject boils down to cultural norms. In Islam arranged marriages are the norm in various middle eastern and south asian cultures. It is something that has been going on for generations but if you ask me, arranged marriages  is a type of mild tribalism because usually arranged marriages are endogamous than exogamous. Either way, its a method humans employ to enjoin two individuals within a given culture. There are pros in cons in this type of method just as there are pros and cons in dating. If families employing arranged marriages were right [most of the time] you wouldn't hear about constant issues with "honor killings" or families disowning their child(ren) because they marry outside the culture or someone of a different faith.
 
What you all must realize is dating in today's age is a non-traditional way of courtship. Of course its not the same as it was in the 1800's, but its similar nonetheless. Heck, these types of issues are in Jewish and Chinese culture and southasian cultures. what matters most is in the end is the newly wed couple really happy?
 
I'll admit after doing some minor research some have stated the recorded divorce rates among arrange marriages are between 4-7% compared to U.S. of about 50%.


Edited by Hyposonic - 16 February 2009 at 10:23pm
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