hate living in Saudi Arabia; husband won't move

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   Dear Momoffour, first of all I totally understand your feelings about the Kingdom, and this is why I have my wife in Los Angeles.  First, I suggest that you take a vacation for at least three to six months back home in America.  This will allow for a proper "perspective" to return, which will assist you in making rational decisions for your future.  It was a big mistake to split the family and send your children back to the US, which undoubtedly must contribute to your unhappiness.  Once you've taken a vacation consider the following suggestions: By the way, are you a Musllim?  Anyway, there are a few cities in Saudi which I consider less difficult to live in for an American - Abha and Al Baha, which are both close to the Yemeni border.  Also, if your husband can work for Saudi Airlines or Aramco, they both have large housing complexes throughout the Kingdom, where you will find other Western families, Muslim and non-Muslim, this may be more socially and culturally to your liking.  Likewise you may want to explore moving the family to Bahrain or Dubai, which are both "Arab" but also more "Western" and thus you and your husband both can feel somewhat satisfied.  Whatever decision you take bring the other children back into the family, unless they are ready to enter college, and this would interfere with their education.  Lastly, if you haven't already, I suggest that you learn the Arabic language.  This will allow for greater social integration and literacy in your new home country.  Oddly, there are many Western converts who would love to be in your position, although most have zero idea of the difficulties living in Saudi.  It must be awful to feel trapped in such a society, but know that every situation in life has its good and bad.  There exist no utopia.  I wish you all the best.  Plan for that vacation.

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abuayisha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Muslim Joined: 05 October 1999 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 5105	Post Options Post Reply Quote abuayisha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 September 2008 at 8:12am
	Dear Momoffour, first of all I totally understand your feelings about the Kingdom, and this is why I have my wife in Los Angeles. First, I suggest that you take a vacation for at least three to six months back home in America. This will allow for a proper "perspective" to return, which will assist you in making rational decisions for your future. It was a big mistake to split the family and send your children back to the US, which undoubtedly must contribute to your unhappiness. Once you've taken a vacation consider the following suggestions: By the way, are you a Musllim? Anyway, there are a few cities in Saudi which I consider less difficult to live in for an American - Abha and Al Baha, which are both close to the Yemeni border. Also, if your husband can work for Saudi Airlines or Aramco, they both have large housing complexes throughout the Kingdom, where you will find other Western families, Muslim and non-Muslim, this may be more socially and culturally to your liking. Likewise you may want to explore moving the family to Bahrain or Dubai, which are both "Arab" but also more "Western" and thus you and your husband both can feel somewhat satisfied. Whatever decision you take bring the other children back into the family, unless they are ready to enter college, and this would interfere with their education. Lastly, if you haven't already, I suggest that you learn the Arabic language. This will allow for greater social integration and literacy in your new home country. Oddly, there are many Western converts who would love to be in your position, although most have zero idea of the difficulties living in Saudi. It must be awful to feel trapped in such a society, but know that every situation in life has its good and bad. There exist no utopia. I wish you all the best. Plan for that vacation.

momoffour Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 13 September 2008 Location: Saudi Arabia Status: Offline Points: 7	Post Options Post Reply Quote momoffour Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 September 2008 at 7:16am
	Thank you for the welcome! My older children are 16 and 14 years old; the older one is a boy, the younger a girl. They both are at very sensative ages. We have been here in Saudi for five years and I have made acquaintances, but not friends. I am not a social person. What do I not like about Saudi? Wow, where do I start? In general, I find the muslims here in a state of "I'm the most important one here" state of mind. There is a lack of common courtesy. Everyone here is so quick to judge. The nature of things occurs in the evening, making the average bed-time around 2 am. Those that don't work end up sleeping until noon. The streets are so littered, no one seems to care about their city or the environment. Its no big deal to be driving, following a car, and watch a plastic bottle go bouncing out the window or entire trash bag full of trash. I've witnessed price gouging due to the fact that I'm an American. My husband can walk into a store right after me and ask for the price and we are stunned at just how low they dropped the price for an Arab. I could go on and on, perhaps I should write a book. But that's not my concern right now. I just have a guilty feeling inside me about my children and feel I have to act and do something. I found this inspirational quote this morning and thought wow, this is speaking to me. Man improves himself as he follows his path; if he stands still, waiting to improve before he makes a decision, he'll never move. -Paulo Coelho Thanks for getting back to me.

Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 14 September 2008 at 2:45am
	Asalam Alaikkum, Welcome ot the Forum. How old are your older children? I am not sure of any legal ruling persay, but what about Saudi culture do you not like? Changing cultures is a shock to say the least. Some people find it more challenging than others. I am sure it was hard for your older children. Have you made friends there? Obviously you miss your children. I know parents who send their kids to different countries for different reasons, I know one woman who sent her kids back to Kenya after her teenage niece ended up unwed and pregnant in the states. It makes it hard on families. I am not sure any solution wil lbe completely satisfactory to all. Hard as it is. My Duas for you. Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

momoffour Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Starter Joined: 13 September 2008 Location: Saudi Arabia Status: Offline Points: 7	Post Options Post Reply Quote momoffour Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 13 September 2008 at 10:28am
	My husband and I are currently living in Saudi Arabia with our two little boys. We have been here now for five years. He is of Yemeni decent and I am from the US. I have two older children from my first marriage. They didn't like Saudi from the beginning and I sent them home to live with relatives. I've come to hate the culture and way of life in Saudi and I want us all to move to America so we can all be together. My mother is also getting elderly and will require home care soon and I want to do that for her. My husband refuses to move. He says he wants his boys raised as arabs. I'm feeling very guilty about my older children and think that I owe to them to try and get this family all together. What advice can you give me as to what comes first: my obligation to my husband or my obligation to my children? I believe it is to my children, but I have a hard time thinking that if I leave, I will be leaving my babies as he will not let them come with me and I will be breaking my husband's heart. Thanks for taking the time to read this!