Asalaamu’laikum! I have a question...

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   Salaams,
Congrats and welcome to the forum.
I agree with others that just because you have not told your family that you are a "nonmuslim." As Rami said, it is a personal decision.  
I did not tell my family for 2+ years. Each of us is on our own journey. For some they have different challanges than others. For some giving up drinking and eating pork is hard, for some, saying slaat 5 times a day, for others, its telling the parents.
And yes there may be a "better time" than others. Only oyucan judge that. What is more important is your belief. Go slowly.. others cannot walk in your shoes. 
Yes you are being tested. We are all tested by Allah, "new" Muslims and "old" Muslims. 
Go at your pace, no one elses. Seek deeper knowledge. Develop yourself to the best of your ability. Have patience with yourself and others. 
My Duas are with you!
Hayfa

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Hayfa Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2368	Post Options Post Reply Quote Hayfa Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Topic: Asalaamu’laikum! I have a question... Posted: 29 January 2008 at 7:34am
	Salaams, Congrats and welcome to the forum. I agree with others that just because you have not told your family that you are a "nonmuslim." As Rami said, it is a personal decision. I did not tell my family for 2+ years. Each of us is on our own journey. For some they have different challanges than others. For some giving up drinking and eating pork is hard, for some, saying slaat 5 times a day, for others, its telling the parents. And yes there may be a "better time" than others. Only oyucan judge that. What is more important is your belief. Go slowly.. others cannot walk in your shoes. Yes you are being tested. We are all tested by Allah, "new" Muslims and "old" Muslims. Go at your pace, no one elses. Seek deeper knowledge. Develop yourself to the best of your ability. Have patience with yourself and others. My Duas are with you! Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

atther Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Newbie Joined: 10 December 2007 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 9	Post Options Post Reply Quote atther Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 January 2008 at 2:43am
	Assalam alai kum Brothers and sisters I would like to congratulate zahira for accepting Islam and pray that Allah increase her Iman and help her stay steadfast in her time of test. The advises give here are practical and as Islam is a religion of practice you can choose your time to reveal your faith to your parents.

martha Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 30 October 2007 Status: Offline Points: 1140	Post Options Post Reply Quote martha Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 29 January 2008 at 2:30am
	' I honestly do believe in this faith, but I know that this is not the proper time to tell.' Salaams Sister, Welcome first of all to Islam You have already said that this is not the proper time to tell. And you have received some excellent advice here so far. At the end of the day, your friends have no say in your life, and the feelings of your family members must be paramount. These friends maybe are married sisters, that might not face the same situation as you. And how can they know what is right for you? Of course they mean well, but their advice if followed can lead to much hurt for you and your family. Sister, you will know when it is right to wear the hijab. Dont be rushed into things. Continue as you are at the moment. read the Qur'an as much as possible, offer prayer, and all will be made known to you, when Allah chooses, not anybody else. There is much to learn. And think of your family's feelings every time. Your accepting Islam is personal to you, always remember that.
	some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set

rami Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Male Joined: 01 March 2000 Status: Offline Points: 2549	Post Options Post Reply Quote rami Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 January 2008 at 9:20pm
	Bi ismillahi rahmani raheem You do not need to wear the hijab in a non Muslim country. It is not a must there. Br the hijab is a personnel obligation, what country you are in has no relevance unless you are under threat as personnel welfare in Islam is paramount. I know no one wants to say its ok to take of the hijab in front of your family mahram or otherwise since essentially it is wrong. This advice really depends on the situation, we have dispensations in this religion and taking the lesser of two evils if both of them are unavoidable is one of these. What the sister can do is wear modest clothes around her family for example arm length and ankle length dresses instead of the full hijab which is still only a personnel obligation that no one can force a person to wear. If you think about how the first muslims where when Allah made muhammad [salla llahu alaihi wa sallam] a prophet each one of his companions [with some exceptions] hid there conversion to islam from there family and tribe for many years until finally he commanded them to announce it in public. Also consider how allah sent down his commands to the new converts, it came down in stages over a 23 year period they didnt recieve all that was haram and halal in one night. If we do what allah himself did with the new muslim back then then we should introduce the tenants of the religion slowly to reverts, depending on there situation and how much they can handle, rather than overwhelm them with it all at once until they buckle under the pressure. Look for example how Allah made alcohol haram, first he said dont approach prayer drunk then some years after that he said dont drink altogether. He weened the muslims from depending on alcohol slowly, why are people who convert to Islam in this day and age and without the benefit of having allahs prophet with them any different. just to be clear i am not commenting on what is haram or halal which we all know and is very clear but nasiha on how to approach the situation. Edited by rami
	Rasul Allah (sallah llahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord" and whoever knows his Lord has been given His gnosis and nearness.

minuteman Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 25 March 2007 Status: Offline Points: 1642	Post Options Post Reply Quote minuteman Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 January 2008 at 6:41pm
	The detailed advice from Aminah and rami is very accurate. Do not listen to your muslim advisors who are in a hurry and almost ready to accuse you as a kafir. That is not right at all. Nobody should announce or leak your conversion except yourself. You do not need to wear the hijab in a non Muslim country. It is not a must there. Never spoil with your parents and do not disobey them and do not make them unhappy. You are only allowed to disobey them if they tell you to leave your present faith. That is all. In all other matters, you should be obedient and gentle. And you should always pray to Allah for the welfare of your parents. Take your time and learn and enjoy till it becomes more easy for you. Allah loves ease and comfort for us. He does not like undue hardship for us. May Allah be with you. Wassalam.

seekshidayath Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Female Islam Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Status: Offline Points: 3357	Post Options Post Reply Quote seekshidayath Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 January 2008 at 6:07pm
	As'Salamu Alaikum , Sister, i have nothing to say over this subject except that you read Br. Rami's post. But i would like you to CONGRAGULATE for choosing the right path. May Allah swt bestow you with His blessings and strong faith. Please do prepare yourselves for any kind of trials if at all. Do read the stories of companions of Prophet , Quran and seerah, that shall help you a lot. And try to be patient all the time sister, esp when dealing with your parents. May Allah swt ease your path. Ameen.
	Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."

The Guided One Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Senior Member Joined: 20 November 2006 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 101	Post Options Post Reply Quote The Guided One Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 January 2008 at 4:30pm
	Bismilah, Asalamu Aleykum warah matulahi wa barakatuh, Rami and Aminah well said, I was trying to say the same, that is indeed great advice and guidance. I was bet busy and trying to wait til next time to say what you just said. but well said Aminah Rami shukran. SahiraG, Rami and Aminah said it well. I recommand Aminah Rami's advice. Also try to be independt, try to find a job and good people to live with incase your parents find it out in the future, Allah will guide you to a success and will make it easy for you Insha Allah. Allah alone we worship and ask for help! Asalamu aleykum warah matulahi wa baraktuh Edited by The Guided One
	A. Suleiman

rami Members Profile Send Private Message Find Members Posts Add to Buddy List Moderator Group Male Joined: 01 March 2000 Status: Offline Points: 2549	Post Options Post Reply Quote rami Report Post Thanks(0) Quote Reply Posted: 28 January 2008 at 3:31pm
	Bi ismillahi rahmani raheem assalamu alaikum My friends tell me this hesitance to tell my family marks me as almost a kaafir, or disbeliever, especially since I do not wear the hijab around my family. Alhamdulillah you have chosen this religion sister, please be carefull who you take knowledge from as your friends dont seem to know anything and confuse there own personnel ignorant opinions with that of Allah. Who is or isnt a kafir is based on one simple thing whether or not you believe There is only one god and that Muhammad is his messenger. There is absolutely no obligation in Islam what so ever to announce your religion to your family the choice is completely yours and it has no bearing on how good or bad a muslim you are. It is actually more advisable in Islam to keep you religion a hidden from your family if it will cause such a negative reaction becouse family ties and relationships are more important. Its actually a sin to break family ties. especially since I do not wear the hijab around my family. Dont listen to your friends when it comes to religion they seem to give opinionated answers rather than factual ones.
	Rasul Allah (sallah llahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord" and whoever knows his Lord has been given His gnosis and nearness.