Question about rape |
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UmTayyab
Newbie Joined: 24 May 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 20 |
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The problem was already addressed, there is no one here qualified to explain the Shariah Law pertaining to rape. It is my understanding that in the case of rape, a woman who is attacked MUST cry out to prevent the rape and expose the attacker. If she is in the populated area in which her cries can be heard, she is judged innocent. If she is in an area where her cries cannot be heard, she is also deemed innocent. If she doesn't cry out... well, I don't have the proof in front of me so I will stop there. The problem lies in the fact that she was alone. Islam gives women the dignity of giving responsibility for their safety to the men of her family. She should not be without a male member of her family, one who can protect her, if she is likely to be accosted. This is not an oppression on the woman, but a protection. Who in their right mind would allow their 9 year old daughter to walk herself to school, even in our so called safe neighborhoods here in the west? For the sister who was abused by the brother-in-law, you should go to a qualified scholar and pose your question to him. Without proof, you may destroy your marriage. If this activity has ceased, you must decide whether or not to pursue it, weighing the probability that he is now abusing another member of your family. If he is still abusing you, you have a duty to expose him, you cannot allow him to touch you ever again!!! but it is imperative that you seek the advise of a knowledgable Sheikh in this matter, and not follow the advise of unqualified strangers. Edited by UmTayyab |
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herjihad
Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473 |
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Bismillah, Sarah, How can you be happily married and yet getting raped by your brother-in-law? Are you just making the best out of a bad situation? Take my advice if you want this to stop. Leave your happy marriage taking your son with you. Resolve custody issues later. Your husband is worthless, absolutely worthless Islamically because he has defaulted on his most important duty: To protect you. You have to ignore your loving feelings for him and act Islamically! Waiting for a man to help you could take until Judgment Day! (You could get a tape recorder if you are willing to be raped again to expose him. But willing to be raped is oxymoronic. So I reiterate: Leave now! Trust me. I care about you and your situation. You must leave. The sheikhs will give you differing opinons. They may offer to help you, and you might find yourself in a worse situation. Be careful of the help you actually accept. |
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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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UmTayyab
Newbie Joined: 24 May 2005 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 20 |
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Sister Sarah, please don't listen to people who tell you to leave your husband, see this is why I said do not follow unqualified strangers. herjihad, it is not clear if she meant this is a past abuse or a continuing abuse. It is not clear if her husband knows, it is not clear who she even told, so leave her alone! You are not qualified to tell a woman to destroy her marriage and her child, and you make such a suggestion over a few vague sentences. You see what women are capable of! You think you know something and advise another woman to destroy her marriage! Be quiet and mind your manners! Just because you have a hate on for all men doesn't mean all men are wrong. Sister Sarah, you know what has happened, and you know your situation. Take your inquiry to a qualified Sheikh who can help you decide what to do. May Allah make it easy for you. |
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herjihad
Senior Member Joined: 26 January 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 2473 |
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Bismillah, Sister Sarah, If you need to talk further, please post something. Of course, if the brother-in-law will never have the chance to do that again, that is a different situation. Your husband is still Islamically deficient because his primary duty is to protect you. If he didn't trust you and protect you in this situation, what other situations will he fail you in? You decide that because it is your life. May Allah, SWT, make it easy for you. Remember to be careful trusting any man, even a sheikh. Never be alone with a man, or in a group of men. May Allah, SWT, give you the strength and wisdom you need all of your life. Trust Allah, SWT, the Most Trustworthy, the Most Merciful. |
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Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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dr_sarah
Starter Joined: 22 May 2005 Location: Switzerland Status: Offline Points: 5 |
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Thank you Sisters for giving me advice. Actually i love my husband a lot and the same he does. The problem is to prove the rape which is very difficult and further difficult to point out the person who is part of this family his very own brother. Hub is in very confused state of mind and even i would be if in his place. Yes the rape has been repeatedly on different occasions. I dont want to break up..Yup i ll see a Sheikh to help me out and guide me. May Allah help me out of this situation. Please Pray Sarah |
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firewall
Senior Member Joined: 06 November 2004 Location: Malaysia Status: Offline Points: 215 |
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i'm sad you have to endure that sarah. i think you shouldn't be alone with your brother in law ever again.
don't put yourself in a position where you will be trapped. take bath
when your husband, mom-in-law or other trusted people is around. if
you're left alone at home with him, go out to the neighbours. ask your sister/friend/neighbour to accompany you, etc...
please don't be alone with him... you can make that change. avoid
the traps.
and if you do ever get raped, don't wash yourself. there's evidence of rape there (e.g. his semen etc). you can go to the hospital & report the rape. i believe the doctors should know what to do. i can imagine how hard it is, what if people don't believe me, i feel so bad. but i also believe men like that usually don't rape one woman. he'll rape others too -- so just imagine if you had a daughter. she might be his next victim! so report him! i imagine if i'm in your place, i'd turn my fear of him into anger (a good anger). that way i can have the bravery to report him & bring him to justice. & please never be alone by yourself. take care. i hope you can get out of this situation. may Allah help you. Edited by firewall |
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Lameese
Senior Member Female Joined: 08 April 2002 Status: Offline Points: 304 |
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I feel bad for you that this is happening to you. The only way to prove it to your husband is to look for "identifying marks" if this ever happens again. Like a birthmark or something you could not know. Of course you could carry a large stick and beat the $&$& out of him or scratch his face. That would give you DNA too and prove to your husband that what you are saying is true. Also, no matter if you think you do not have proof. Report it to the police. This will let your husband know you are serious. It sounds incredulous to me that your husband has not already beat his brother within an inch of his life. Remember, if you can scratch him and get the DNA under your fingernails you can tie it to other DNA. Go to the hospital and see a doctor and let them know that you were raped. Also, write down everything that happened to you in the past, so that you have written proof too. Hope some of this helps,
Lameese |
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Ali Zaki
Senior Member Joined: 10 May 2005 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 217 |
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Salam to dr_Sarah, I'm sorry to "intrude" into the sisters forum (as I am a brother), however, I just had to say something as I cannot believe what I am hearing in this post! If your husband is allowing this situation to occur, then either he thinks you are lying, or he is NOT A MAN AT ALL. A correct understanding of this issue does not require any understanding of Islam at all, just simple humanity and logic. My apologies to the knowledgable sisters, but you are complicating this issue and (maybe) confusing this sister. As a husband, I can tell you that is someone raped my wife, whether it was my father, my brother or anyone else they would not BE ABLE to ever repeat this action. I will not go into details, but I think you get my point. Of course, I doubt that anyone would ever be able to attempt this, as my wife (in 5 years of marriage) has NEVER been alone with a non-muharram man. It is my duty, first and foremost, to protect my wife in children. If anything happens to them because of my negligence, then I AM RESPONSIBLE, and will be accountable before Allah (s.w.a.) In fact, because I am a revert (convert), I would not even allow my wife to be alone with my father or grandfather as they are non-Muslims (although they are muharram). I don't have any reason to believe that anything would happen if I did, however, a husband must exercise a maximum degree of caution on these issues. I don't know you, or your individual situation. As a result, I can't give you advice on what to do in your individual situation. I will pray for you, and ask that Allah (s.w.a) gives you relief and the right answer. Truly Allah is Al-Huda (the source of all guidance). Salam |
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"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad."
Imam Ali (a.s.) |
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