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Girls vs Grown Women
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 July 2009 at 11:23am
Originally posted by Duane Duane wrote:

As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.I have to agree with the majority of advice you are getting from the brothers.� I would like to add that I have married in the past for beauty.� This was before I came to Islam.� None of these marriages worked out.� Beauty is a transient thing and is one of the ways we are misguided in this world.� Duane
Wa Alaikum As Salam Duane.The Beauty you are talking about is outer,say you are inquiring on marring a sister who dawns a full niqab, and she is pious and wont show you her face,how would one still think that she is beautiful,you get it.
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Duane View Drop Down
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Points: 70 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Duane Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 July 2009 at 10:40am
As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.

I have to agree with the majority of advice you are getting from the brothers.  I would like to add that I have married in the past for beauty.  This was before I came to Islam.  None of these marriages worked out.  Beauty is a transient thing and is one of the ways we are misguided in this world. 

Duane
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 July 2009 at 5:02pm
Originally posted by Akhe Abdullah Akhe Abdullah wrote:

Originally posted by Ali77 Ali77 wrote:

How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?.
As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.Prophet Muhammed(SAW)says that you can marry for wealth and or beauty.If a women trully fears Allah she is right for you.If she is a pious women she is right for you.I have heard that the women will at times choose you,they are the ones who mature faster and sometimes have limited time to pro-create according to there biological clock.I have heard that some sisters inquire that they wish to get married threw an Imam and he introduces her to a good brother.(Allah Knows Best)in the end.May Allah Bless you.
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Akhe Abdullah View Drop Down
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Points: 1252 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akhe Abdullah Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 July 2009 at 4:34pm
Originally posted by Ali77 Ali77 wrote:

How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?.
As Salamu Alaikum,Ali.Prophet Muhammed(SAW)says that you can marry for wealth and or beauty.If a women trully fears Allah she is right for you.If she is on top of her deen she is right for you.I have heard that the women will at times choose you,they are the ones who mature faster and sometimes have limited time to pro-create according to there biological clock(Allah Knows Best)in the end.May Allah Bless you.
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 July 2009 at 2:04pm
The Prophet (saw) said: �A man is on the deen of his friend, watch out who your friends are.� Tirmidhi 2378, Abu Dawood 4833
 
Examine her family and friends, as this may give a good indication of values and belief.  Keeping in mind that most men desire an attractive wife, emphasis should be placed on her religious practice and not only family status, beauty and wealth.  You will never like everything about your wife, but look to the good aspects in her and overlook those faults which you dislike.  Generally people lie for fear of reprisal, so be kind and gentle; hopefully she then will not have to worry about her being deceitful.  I do not necessary see aggressiveness as a poor quality as long as harshness does not accompany this attribute. 
 
Like Pati mentioned indeed the opposite can be said of men, and frankly I'm surprise to hear of these complaints coming from a man about women.  It is most often, sadly,  the reverse.
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Pati View Drop Down
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Points: 304 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Pati Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 July 2009 at 11:42am
Originally posted by Ali77 Ali77 wrote:

How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?because I think all the try to appear well infrontof us but after marrage they appear as their nature sharp and lier
and aggreesive and illtreatment.
 
Hi Ali77,
 
I think that your comment is not fair, because we as women could say the opposite, that men are nice until we sign the marriage contract, and after that they don't accept any responsability, or face any problem. Worst than that, we have to go ahead with our lives and the lives of our children... you can read the Women's forum, and you will realise how much difficult the situations of some of them are because of their husbands.
 
My suggestion? Before getting married, try to talk with her about everything. If you are able to keep on a conversation with someone for more than 2 or 3 hours, and you dind't feel bored, it's a good starting point. But it's impossible to keep the good face forever.
 
Try to ask her about what would she do in several situations, or how does she plans her marriaged life... and try not to tell her how do you think that the marriage should be. I mean, this way, you will get her answer and not the answer you would like from her.
 
In any case, and unfortunately, there is no way to be sure that the other person is the right one. Just take your time and don't get a quick decision after meeting the first woman.
 
Other thing: the perfect woman or the perfect man doesn't exist. Just look for your perfect woman, the one who can give you a peaceful and great life.
 
All the best,
Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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Ali77 View Drop Down
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Points: 29 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ali77 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 July 2009 at 8:34am
How are you I want to ask you about how I can choose
my wife?because I think all the try to appear well infrontof us but after marrage they appear as their nature sharp and lier
and aggreesive and illtreatment.

Edited by Ali77 - 12 July 2009 at 8:36am
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abuayisha View Drop Down
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Points: 5105 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote abuayisha Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 June 2009 at 4:20pm
"I would never want to be a boy again.  It was difficult enough the first time."   Ditto!
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