Dear Hadi,
Dear Reader,
One of the hardest things to witness is someone who once had a deep connection with Allah SWT suddenly feeling distant from Him. It can be confusing and heartbreaking, especially if that person says, "I know all of this already, but I just can't do it."
The first thing to understand is that this person may not simply be "lazy" or "rebellious." Sometimes a collapse in worship is the visible symptom of a deeper struggle - burnout, depression, unresolved guilt, trauma, anxiety, or spiritual exhaustion. Islam teaches us to look at people with both wisdom and mercy. Before trying to correct them, try to understand what pain they may be carrying.
When he says, "I know, but I can't," believe that he may genuinely feel trapped. Repeating reminders about the obligation of salah may not reach someone who already accepts that truth but feels emotionally or spiritually unable to act on it. Instead of debating with him, become someone he can speak to without feeling judged.
That does not mean minimizing the importance of salah. Prayer is the greatest pillar of Islam after the testimony of faith, and abandoning it is an extremely serious matter. But the Prophet (pbuh) taught people with gentleness, patience, and hope. He understood that hearts are won before habits are changed.
Encourage him to take the smallest possible step. Rather than saying, "Start praying all five prayers today," encourage him to pray just one prayer consistently, even if it is only Fajr or Maghrib. If even that feels overwhelming, encourage him to make wudu, sit on the prayer mat, or simply speak to Allah SWT in his own words. Small acts done consistently are beloved to Allah and often become the path back to greater obedience.
Most importantly, remind him that losing motivation does not mean Allah SWT has closed the door on him. The shaitan wants people to feel hopeless, but Allah SWT has told us that He forgives all sins for those who turn back to Him sincerely. As long as a person is alive, the door of tawbah remains open. Remind him that Allah SWT says:
"O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful" Quran 39:53.
For you, the friend or family member, remember that guidance ultimately belongs to Allah SWT. Your role is not to force change but to be a source of sincere concern, good companionship, and dua. Continue inviting him with kindness, make dua for him regularly, and avoid making him feel like a hopeless case. Sometimes people return to Allah after years away, and their faith becomes even stronger than before.
If his loss of iman came alongside changes in mood, sleep, energy, or interest in life, it may also be wise to gently encourage him to seek help from a trusted mental health professional, alongside support from a knowledgeable and compassionate imam or scholar. Caring for one's mental health is not separate from caring for one's spiritual health; the two often affect each other.
Never underestimate the power of your own dua. Ask Allah SWT to soften his heart, restore the sweetness of iman to him, and make salah beloved to him once again. Hearts are in the hands of Allah SWT, and He is able to revive a heart that feels completely lost.
In peace.