Dear Hadi,
Dear Reader,
The general ruling is that physical intimacy outside of marriage is not permitted. In Islam, romantic and sexual affection is meant to be within the framework of nikah, or marriage, and acts such as kissing a girlfriend or boyfriend fall outside the boundaries that Islam places before marriage.
The reason is not simply the physical act itself, but the wider principle of protecting a person’s faith, emotions, dignity, and relationships. Islam recognizes that affection can naturally develop between people, but it directs that affection toward a lawful commitment rather than a relationship without the rights and responsibilities of marriage.
Allah SWT says in the Qur’an, “Do not go near zina (adultery or fornication). It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way” (Qur’an 17:32).
The wording is important: Allah SWT does not only forbid zina itself, but says not to even come near it. This means that a Muslim should avoid the steps and situations that commonly lead toward it, including romantic physical intimacy outside marriage. The Quran also commands the believers to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, saying:
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them” and similarly commands believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity (Qur’an 24:30–31). These verses show that Islam teaches restraint before desire reaches the point of sin.
The Prophet (pbuh) also taught that zina has preliminary steps. He said that the son of Adam has a share of zina written for him, and that “the zina of the eye is looking, while the heart desires and the private parts either confirm that desire or refrain from it." This hadith is narrated in the Sahihs of Bukhari and Muslim. In another hadith, the Prophet (pbuh) warned, “A man is not alone with a woman except that the third of them is Shaytan.” (narrated by al-Tirmidhi).
These narrations do not mean that every interaction between men and women is forbidden, but they do show that Islam takes emotional and physical temptation seriously and asks Muslims to place protective boundaries around themselves.
Therefore, a Muslim should not kiss his girlfriend or boyfriend. That type of romantic physical affection belongs within marriage. This does not mean that having feelings is sinful in itself. Attraction is part of human nature. But Islam teaches us to discipline those feelings and direct them toward what is lawful and honorable.
If a person has already done this, the path forward is not despair but sincere repentance, or tawbah: recognizing the mistake, asking Allah SWT for forgiveness, leaving the action, and making a sincere effort not to return to it. Allah’s mercy is greater than any sin when a person turns back to Him sincerely. Allah SWT says:
“Say, O Prophet, [that Allah says], O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in the mercy of Allah, for Allah certainly forgives all sins. He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful” (Qur’an 39:53).
If you are serious about the person, the Islamic approach would be to move the relationship toward marriage in a respectful way, with appropriate boundaries until then. That means avoiding being alone together in tempting situations, avoiding physical intimacy, keeping communication purposeful and dignified, and involving families or trusted elders when marriage is being seriously considered.
In peace.