Dear Hadi,
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your question and we’re so sorry to hear about the difficult relationship you’re having with your sister. As we mentioned in an earlier column to a reader who was having problems with her brothers and father, we want to reiterate that it is not your job alone to fix the relationship. If your sister is interested in having a healthy relationship with you, she also has to put in the effort to do so.
We don't know if you've tried to talk with your sister or if you're just trying to put up with things in the best way you can. If you haven't talked with her, we would suggest that you try to have a serious conversation with her about how you feel. You can be kind, but also very clear with her about how you would like to interact with her, and more specifically about how you expect her to interact with you.
If she is unwilling to take you seriously, is there someone else she might be more open to listening to that could help you mediate the situation?
If this doesn't work, we remind you, as we did with an earlier reader, that while in Islam, we must do our best to maintain familial ties, this is not an “all or nothing” situation. If your sister continues to be "toxic" around or towards you, let her know that although you will not cut off familial ties, you will limit your contact and interactions with her moving forward. In fact, you may need to do this to protect your own well-being.
In peace.