Dear Hadi,
Assalamu alaykum,
I’m Muslim and I’ve been dating my partner and we plan to get married soon inshaAllah. She plans to revert, but we are stuck on one issue.
She really loves Christmas and does not see it as religious. For her it is family time, gifts, dinner, and good memories. She says it would not be fair to her or her family to give it up completely.
I have always heard Muslims should not celebrate non-Muslim holidays, so I want honest Islamic advice but please be kind.
Is it allowed for a revert to “celebrate Christmas” if they mean it as family tradition and gift giving, not worship? Also, what about having a Christmas tree in the house, putting up lights or decorations, and doing gift exchanges, is any of that allowed or is it all considered part of celebrating?
If it is not allowed, what would be allowed vs not allowed in a practical sense while still keeping family ties?
JazakAllah khair.
Dear Reader,
We believe, and God knows best, that so long as her family’s celebration does not include a religious component to it that you and she, as Muslims, would need to participate in, there is no prohibition on spending the holiday time with her family.
We will justify and clarify this opinion on several grounds:
Islam distinguishes clearly between acts of worship (ʿibadat) and customs and social practices (ʿadat). What is prohibited is participating in the religious meaning of another faith’s rituals or affirming beliefs that contradict tawḥid. Merely sharing food, exchanging gifts, or gathering with family during a public holiday does not in itself constitute worship. Many scholars note that customs are permissible unless there is a clear prohibition, and social holidays often function culturally rather than theologically, especially in pluralistic societies.
The Quran explicitly encourages kindness, good conduct, and justice toward non-Muslims who are not hostile. Allah says, “God does not forbid you from being kind and just toward those who do not fight you because of religion nor drive you from your homes” (Qur’an 60:8). Visiting relatives, attending meals, or showing goodwill during their cultural celebrations falls squarely under birr (the term used in the verse from Surat al-Mumtahanah quoted above, meaning kindness), not religious endorsement.
Muslims already participate in many holidays of non-Islamic origin without controversy, such as national independence days, Thanksgiving, or Mother’s Day. These days may have historical or even religious roots, yet they are now treated as secular or cultural observances. Christmas in many societies functions similarly: a time off work, family gatherings, food, decorations, and gift-giving, with no requirement of church attendance or religious affirmation. The permissibility hinges on intention (niyyah) and content, not the calendar date.
Moreover, Islam places strong emphasis on maintaining family ties (silat al-rahim), even when relatives are non-Muslim. The Prophet (pbuh) maintained relations with pagan relatives and accepted invitations from non-Muslims. If refusing to attend a family gathering on Christmas causes alienation, emotional harm, or unnecessary tension, it can be argued that attendance for social reasons may actually serve a higher Islamic objective (maqsad), namely preserving kinship and social harmony.
You need to understand and stress that participating socially does not imply theological approval – with this understanding, we do not see a problem. Muslims interact daily with non-Muslims, attend weddings, funerals, and social events without adopting the beliefs behind them. The Prophet (pbuh) stood in respect when a Jewish funeral passed by, without this implying a full acceptance of the affiliated theology. Respect and coexistence do not equal belief or imitation in worship.
One issue you may contend with is the prohibition often cited about “imitating the disbelievers” (tashabbuh). However, this needs to be qualified. We agree with the opinions that blameworthy imitation refers to adopting distinctive religious symbols or rituals that signify belief or devotion (such as wearing a cross so that your non-Muslim relatives “feel more comfortable”). Eating dinner, giving neutral gifts, or enjoying time off work are not distinctive acts of Christian worship, especially when done without religious symbolism.
Muslims can also frame participation as an opportunity for daʿwah through character. Showing warmth, gratitude, and ethical behavior reinforces Islamic values in a lived, visible way. Many people encounter Islam not through debate but through shared meals and kindness.
Finally, intention matters greatly in Islamic law. A Muslim who participates with the clear internal intention of social bonding, gratitude, or family connection, while explicitly avoiding religious rituals such as church services, prayers, or theological affirmations, is not committing shirk or violating core beliefs. Islam judges actions by intentions, as stated in the famous hadith: “Actions are only by intentions.”
To stay within Islamic comfort zones, we suggest clarifying to her family that you are happy to celebrate with them, but that you will avoid explicitly religious elements: no church services, no prayers invoking Jesus (pbuh) as divine, no religious hymns, and no affirmations like “Jesus is the son of God.” Instead, you can all together focus on food, family, charity, and goodwill.
That being said, we would be more concerned about your plans to put up a Christmas tree in your home, and decorate with lights and so forth. Spending the time with her family during the holidays is one thing, but adopting those traditions into your own home is something else. This could especially be problematic once you have children. Raising Muslim children in Western society is already a challenging task, and we think that adopting Christmas traditions into your home carries significant potential to blur lines and confuse your future children about their Muslim identity. As such, we would discourage taking this further step.
In peace.