Dear Hadi,
Dear Reader,
While we have some advice to share with you about this situation, let’s first answer your question. No, it is not haram to not fight back in this situation, and Allah SWT knows best.
In Sura Al-Baqara (2:286), we are told that God does not place on us a responsibility more than we can bear.
Sometimes we are physically or emotionally unable to fight back and seek justice for ourselves, and that is ok.
We see this in the Quran, in Sura Al-Qamar (54:9-10), where Prophet Nuh (pbuh), having been rejected and threatened, is unable to fight back against his people and instead, he beseeches Allah SWT to help him:
“Before them, Noah’s people also gave the lie (to the Message). They rejected our servant and said: ‘A madman!’ and he was rebuffed and threatened.
“Thereupon he called out to his Sustainer, ‘Verily, I am defeated, so Thou help me.’”
Additionally, in the Quran in Sura Hud (11:80), we see Prophet Lut (pbuh) unable to stop the unbelievers who wanted to assault his guests:
“Would that I had the strength to defeat you, or that I could lean upon some mightier support.”
So, if even prophets who dedicated their lives to spreading God’s message amongst hostile groups were unable to fight back, we don’t think you should be too hard on yourself and think walking away from a fight is something haram.
While these examples help us to understand that there are times we are not up to fighting back, we do nonetheless suggest three things for your consideration:
1. Get an adult involved - either a school teacher, school principal, or parent to help stop the bullying.
2. Begin working on a program to increase physical strength, and possibly learning how to fight, such as self-defense classes, so that you have both the physical strength, skills, and confidence to fight back if needed.
3. While we always hope for an alternative to physical altercations, we know this may not always be realistic. And if someone finds themselves in a situation where they need to defend themselves physically, remember that you do not have to win a fight to have an impact. All you have to do is make it not worthwhile for a bully to pick on you. Therefore, for example, a punch in the nose that causes a bully to get a nosebleed may make it not worth his while to pick on you anymore, even if you end up getting beaten up worse. We know that it is difficult to take a physical beating, but allowing oneself to be bullied and not doing anything about it is also an emotional beating, and you have to judge which is worse.
Again though, in response to your specific question, we feel comfortable, and God knows best, that it would not be haram to back down from a fight if you feel that you are just not up to it.
In peace.