Dear Hadi,
Salamu Alaikum,
I am a 16 year old Shia boy currently in 10th grade. There is a Sunni girl that I like and want to get to know better. My question is, would it be halal for us to talk like a couple but without any physical contact? We both love each other and want to get married someday.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your question. It’s wonderful that you feel you’ve met a young Muslim woman and that both of you are interested in pursuing this relationship in an appropriate manner.
If the focus of your question is whether this relationship is okay because you are Shi’a and she is Sunni, we do not believe there is any problem at all with pursuing the relationship even though you are of differing sects. We had a similar question posed some time back, and here is what we wrote to that reader.
When you look online, you will find various answers, many of which would object to the marriage, on the grounds that some of the Shi’a hold beliefs that Sunnis find objectionable (and vice versa). However, our opinion, and God knows best, is really quite simple and straightforward, and does not get into all of those details, but looks at the big picture. If you both believe in one Almighty God; and you both believe in the prophethood of Muhammad (pbuh); and you both pray and fast; and you are both practicing Muslims, then we don’t believe there is any obstacle towards this relationship from a religious perspective. This, for example, is the reported view of the eminent modern scholar Rashid Rida (coauthor of the famous commentary on the Quran, Tafseer al Manar), who sought rapprochement between the sects in Islam. We would not let sectarianism play any role in your decision - the important thing is compatibility of beliefs and mutual respect.
If the focus of your question is how to interact with one another, then our answer to you is to simply ensure that you maintain the bounds set by Islam. We don’t see any problem with the two of you talking by phone, online, or in-person so long as there is no khulwa and so long as the content of your conversations are appropriate i.e. not overly intimate.
May God bless you for being so thoughtful about your faith, and may God bless you in this relationship.
In peace.