Dear Hadi,
Assalamu Alaykum,
The scenario explained in question 38725 on the Islamicity Q&A is very similar to mine; hence I am making reference to it.
My husband, by nature, is not someone who likes confrontation. He often avoids conflict and will say things under pressure just to make a situation stop, even when those words do not reflect his true feelings. This is an important part of his personality: when overwhelmed, he tends to crumble and agree to whatever is demanded of him. On the day in question, we were in the middle of an argument. I was insistent, pressuring him repeatedly to say "Talaaq" (that he's divorcing me). He initially walked away, but I persisted. He went into the bedroom and locked the door; and I banged on the door to open. I repeatedly told him to say "Talaaq" to me. Feeling trapped and unable to escape the situation, he finally said it. He has since told me — and has taken an oath before Allah — that he had no intention of divorcing me, and only said it because I continued to push and would not leave him alone.
Psychologically, can this state be described as act under duress? I have done research and when a person feels cornered and overwhelmed, the mind seeks only relief from pressure, not to express genuine will. In this sense, the words he spoke were not free consent, but of emotional compulsion. I’ve also read that free will is a condition of Talaaq under Shafi'i law.
From the Islamic perspective, I understand that a valid Talaaq requires both free choice and clear intention.
My husband has openly admitted that his words did not reflect his intention, and he swears by Allah that he never wished to divorce me.
I humbly ask you to consider both the nature of his personality and the circumstances of that moment. This was not a free and deliberate pronouncement of divorce, but the result of pressure and emotional coercion.
I place my trust in Allah and in your guidance.
JazaakAllah Khayr
Dear Reader,
To answer your immediate question, we believe, and God knows best, that statements uttered under duress are morally and legally invalid. This is based both upon the Quranic verse (16:106) which exempts from God’s wrath, those who were forced to publicly renounce Islam but whose hearts were secure in their faith, as well the hadith of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), “Verily Allah has pardoned for my ummah: their mistakes, their forgetfulness, and that which they have been forced to do under duress” (Ibn Majah).
If divorce was neither your husband’s true desire or intention and he simply uttered it because of the pressure you put on him, we don’t view that as a fully voluntary action.
Always look towards God’s mercy and towards ease rather than difficulty. If you are on the fence about an issue, err on the side that Allah SWT wants for you mercy and ease, rather than difficulty and duress.
In this situation, we believe and Allah SWT knows best that there is no divorce here. This is based not only on what we said above but on the well-know hadith of the Prophet (PBUH):
"The most hated of permissible things to Allah is divorce." (found in the collections of Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah).
That being said, we strongly encourage you to focus more on your role in this situation. You should look deeply into yourself regarding the reasons you so forcefully pressured him into doing this. We suggest that you both seek counseling in an effort to strengthen your marriage, and that perhaps you seek additional individual counseling to gain better control over how you reacted to the argument.
If the two of you are able to work your way to a better approach to handling arguments and disagreements, we believe your marriage will be stronger insha’Allah.
In peace.