In America there are many special days set aside to honor and appreciate special people. Some of these are: Father's Day, Mother's Day, Grandfather's Day, Grandmother's Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, etc. We do realize the significance of these occasions and we recognize the ideas, ideals, and philosophies of such days. We appreciate the efforts of those who initiated these occasions for the recognition and appreciation of special people.
As for the appreciation of parents, we admire the efforts of children who remember their parents on such occasions by sending them greeting cards and gifts. However, we hope that the appreciation is not for one single day in a year, but for every day throughout the year.
PARENTS IN QURAN
A child should respect and appreciate his or her parents every day throughout the year. Allah has asked human beings to recognize their parents after recognition of Allah Himself. Throughout the Quran, we notice that parents are mentioned with appreciation and with respect, even if they are senile. In Surah Al-Isra' (Children of Israel) there is a very beautiful description of how parents are to be treated. Allah says:
"Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not "Fie" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was young." [Quran 17:23-24]
The recognition and respect of parents is mentioned in the Quran eleven times; in every instance, Allah reminds children to recognize and to appreciate the care and love they have received from their parents. In the following verse, Allah demands that children recognize their parents:
"We have enjoined on humankind kindness to parents." [Quran 29:8 and 46:15]
1. The demand for recognizing parents is made more emphaticly when Allah says in the Quran:
"And (remember) when We made a covenant with the children of Israel, (saying): worship none save Allah (only), and be good to parents..." [Quran 2:83]
2. In Surah Al-Nisaa' (The Women) Allah emphasizes again that children should be kind to their parents.
"And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. (Show) Kindness unto parents... " [Quran 4:36]
3. The same directive is repeated again In Surah Al An'Am (The Cattle), where Allah says:
"Say: Come, I will recite unto you that which your Lord has made a sacred duty for you; that you ascribe nothing as partner unto Him and that you do good to parents..." [Quran 6:151]
Although Islam has clear directives to honor and respect both parents, mothers are given particular gratitude and respect. This attitude of Islam is understood if we realize the hardships and the suffering that mothers experience in their lives. In this regard, Prophet Muhammad said:
It was narrated by Abu Hurairah (R) that a man came to the Prophet and asked him, 'Who is to be close to my friendship?' The Prophet answered:
Your mother, your mother, your mother, then your father, then the one closest to your kinship, and the one after.
Islam has endorsed respect for parents by their children even if the parents are non-Muslims. Only if parents coerce their children against Islam, then the children have the right not to obey their parents, but they are still to be good to them. In this regard, Allah says in Surah Luqman:
"And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents--his mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years--Give thanks unto Me and unto your parents. Unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive with you to make you ascribe unto Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the part of him who repents unto Me. Then unto Me will you return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.--" [Quran 31:14-15]
Islam teaches us that respect for parents comes immediately after praying to Allah and before Jihad (struggle and striving in the way of Allah). In this respect, the Prophet said the following:
Narrated by Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (May Allah be pleased with him) saying: I asked the Prophet , "which deed is more liked by Allah?" He replied, "Prayers on time." Then I asked, "Which one is next?" He said, "Goodness to parents." Then I asked, "Then which one is next?" He said, "Jihad in the way of Allah." (Agreed)
In Islam, respect for parents is so great that the child and his wealth are considered to be the property of the parents. In this regard, the Prophet said:
Narrated by Aisha that a person came to the Prophet to resolve his dispute with his father regarding a loan given to the father. The Prophet said to the person, "You and your wealth are to your father."
We hope and we pray that all of us will respect our parents while they are alive and even after they pass-away. You may honor your parents after they die through the following methods:
- Make daily Du'a (prayer) for them
- Give a charity on their behalf
- Institute a perpetual charity on their behalf - such as a Masjid, an Islamic Center, an Islamic Library, an Islamic hospital, an orphanage, a senior citizen's home, etc.
- Perform Hajj on their behalf or ask someone to do so.
- Read Quran on their behalf
- Distribute Islamic Literature on their behalf
Let us pray to Allah that we will do our best to respect our parents, to honor them, to be kind to them, to help them, and to please them for the love of Allah.
O Allah! Accept our humble prayers and make us obedient servants to you.
O Allah! Help us to be respectful children to our parents. Ameen.
Regarding the mothers, how do you feel about the judgment in Sudan regarding the mother (pregnant no less) who is being sentenced to death for marrying a Christian? She's a mother. Where's the respect there?
my youngest that since this is her house..and she runs it like a college campus fraternity
home witb 2 of her own minor children who livs here also. Shes 23 and im 44..she said to
me she is grown and married and will run her household as she sees fit. I am only here
because I had beome ill and do have a home in another state. I pray all the time and speak
with herabout her household ghat has booze..liquor..drugs and all kind of stuff I did not
raise her to imbibe. I dont want to cut her off becau6 of my grandchildren. .however I feel
that I must do so. I got the clearance from my doctor that I can return home to my house in
only live my sister and sometimes I yell and screem at her which I don't like. I'm so lost.
Jazal Allah Khair for this. Under article Say not even "Fie" to Parents, the sura "Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him....."
It is not SAVE, it is "EXCEPT HIM"
When I read this article, I had to cry.
It's so sad,because sometimes you forget about having done a mistake, i.e. treating your parents wrong.I think I really like IslamiCity, because they show the ways of Islam in a very beautiful way that is referring to our daily life.May Allah forgive our mistakes we have done in the past and we still do!
You can also search the question bank and see if someone has already asked this or related question before.
Enjoyed reading it and gained a lot from it.
Khar insha Allah
Ihave awife who does not respect my parents, Advise me on the sharia point of view.
It is quite challenging to spread this islamic position to the western world for them to has rethink on what islam stands for.
I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS TRUE MESSAGE, IF WE BELEIVE IN ALLAH & THE LAST DAY, THEN LETS DO AS HE SAYS
WE NEED TO BE GOOD TO OUR PARENTS NO MATTER WHAT....AT TIMES IT GET A BIT DIFFICULT BUT WITH ALLAH'S HELP ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE...
AGAIN JAZAKALLAHU KHAIRIN TO THE WRITER.
What a beautiful article. This reminds someone of one of the aspect of Islam in greater need in the West especially USA, where I learnt it is possible for a person to take any one of his parent to court on the slightest provocation. In fact, a parent can be picked up for slapping his child by the police! All these in the name of FREEDOM being offered by DEMOCRAZY. What an irony. Well we will not waver as I urge all Americans to embrace Islam, practice the religion the way it should be and the peace and tranquility that will reign amidst parents and their offsprings, brothers, sisters, and all men and women of all races and color will know no bounds.
I bid all peace.
mashallah this article is great and it made me think about treating my parents with more respect but what holds me from obeying my parents is that they dont give me the care i deserve i kkow that that should still obey my parents no matter what looks like im just have to get used to it if i want a obedient servent it hard sometimes but trough this article i found courage
shukran and jazakallaho kharion
wa salamo alaykom wa rahmatullahi wa barakato
Although I fully agree that parents should be respected and revered, the delicate question arises of what to do when a parent is wrong and is trying to impose his/her will on a child. Unfortunately not every parent has the wellbeing of their children at heart.There are times when great injustice is done and it is of no use to pretend these things do not happen. What to do ?
May Allah show us the way for He knows best.
have considerably increased. Children no longer
care for their old parents . Old age is being
considered as a disease. Any believer in Allah who reads this article will really start respecting his/her parents.Thanks to the author who has quoted beautiful verses from Holy Quran also. Valhamdulilllahi rabbil Aalameen.
This is a phenomenol and a very insightful article. If you think about it, the sole purpose of the article serves the importance of having parents, in a truly Islamic way. We as Americans, dissolve ourselves in the western way of celebrating Mother's Day, where we should really be perceiving things with the eyes of Islam.
I'd also like to throw in a word of compliment for bringing out this amazing website. I love browsing it, everytime I get to learn something new, especially when people like me, who are on their way to explore their religion more profoundly. Great job there!!
This site could DEFINATELY use more articles like this.
Islam is alive and well and we should not forget that because Arabs are suffering because of the CRIMINALS that run their lands.
Islamicity, you have been bringing many good and educational articles. Please do continue.
Dr. Sakr thank you for presenting this article.
I have been very confused about what "holidays" to recognize and which not to. Last year I did not get my mother anything for mothers day however this year I plan on getting her a card to show her that I do appreciate her. I hope by doing this that I am not doing anything against islamic teachings.
Thanks again and if anyone has anything to add to this please feal free to email me at
This is a very good article. I should congradulate Dr. Ahmad H. Sakr for coming up with such an article. It was an wonderful effort to bring one of the important and one of the most beautiful aspect of Islam which is getting neglected these days. may ALLAH give us all toufeeq to understand and practice our religion.