Searching for Mr. Right!
I seem to be meeting two different types of men.The first type is the extremely religious-almost-everything-is-haram man. They all look the same; same fist-long beard, same white hat that hides a mass of hair, same shaved mustache and white trousers with a long white shirt that goes over the knees. I don't believe these kind of men are "extremists" or "terrorists" just because they live like that.
If he is interested in you he will get to know you by introducing himself to your family and have frequent meetings with you all together, probably with his family involved too. During these informal "meetings" you'll probably learn his "everything-is-haram" views.
Then there is the second type of man. The "part-time Muslim". The almost-everything-is-halal man. He is liberal in his beliefs, does not really pray, may drink alcohol, thinks it's fine to hang out with his "girl friends" and thinks the first type of man explained above is an extremist. If he's interested in you he will think that dating is an essential part in getting to know you.
That means you and him should be alone. He thinks it is great that you wear the hijab, because he wants to show off to his family and friends that he has landed himself a religious wife. This is also quite suffocating.
I'm not interested in either of these types of men that I've met. There is however a third type of man (there could be a fourth and fifth but I don't have time). They are in the middle-ground of the two men described above. They are not too strict and they are not too loose. They are just right. I've seen some American Muslims and Canadian Muslims who are "just right", so I know they do exist. But of course marriage is naseeb. You can't ask why it didn't work out, that's just destiny for you.
But they are out there. They are lovely men with beautiful personalities, they have the faith in their hearts and minds and they live life to their fullest potential. They make you laugh, they don't have complex personalities due to cultural baggage. They would never oppress you. They would want to love you for the rest of their lives.
They would regard you as an equal.
I wonder if there's more of them in stock somewhere ... because it seems some of us have missed out on a "available for a limited-time only."
The writer of this blog writes under the pen name Unique Muslimah. Unique's blog opened back in February 2007, when she decided it was time she wrote on issues she felt passionate about. Unique Muslimah writes to you from the West but spends most of her time traveling to other countries and blogging about her experiences.
I think that you have just made the perfect point. Since my conversion, I have had intentions given but by both ends of the sphere. If you find these brothers would you please tell me where they are. I would like to get married but Islamic marriage encountering is very different for me as a 1 year revert and American. I seem to be lost. Insha-Allah, Allah will bless you and bless us other sisters looking for the same.
I hope that Allah bless you with a very good husband. Thank you for the article sister!:)
Crisp and well-written.
I can totally relate myself with the article
jazak allah khair for the thoughtful article.
I have a couple of blogs, too, so I know what it is like to compose your thoughts, dreams and wishes. And as an American Muslimah living in Morocco, I understand what the sister is saying.
BUT, is this really an Islamicity article? Does it give information about how a woman, a westerner, a convert may improve her chances in the search for a spouse, in halaal? No.
The "article" is cute, sweet, and I am sympathetic. But it isn't really an "article" so much as it is a blog.
been a constant struggle to find a man that is in the middle
ground. I want someone that is strong in his beliefs but not so far
to the left.. it's seems nearly impossible to find.
whatever you wish in this world please submit to Allah.I have long for a good husband and companion, all I know is that I can only ask from Allah. I spent a whole year,night after night,dua after dua,asking for the right man.When he came along,it seemed that he was not right too.But then again I endure the test,pray again and put everything back into Allah's hand and I knew that I have been given my mr right.What seems so wrong maybe so right because it is HE whoc will give you what is best for you,sometime without you knowing it.Believe in Allah, believe ccthat HE knows what best for you if you keep on asking from HIM and never stop believe that HE will give what you asked.
Brother H.A, please calm down. Take your ablution and pray. Mix with peers that have positive influence and may inspire you.
While I am not denying that there are some truth to what you mentioned in your post, but hey ! Isn't that what lies the task for us a Muslims, being the vicegerent of ALLAH in this world.
It is described in the Quran at the Chapter of al-Baqarah when ALLAH created man to be HIS vicegerent in this world, the angels protested and asked " Why have you created men who will do mischief on earth while we have always been abiding in worship to YOU ? ALLAH replied " I do what you do not "....
Man was created for a purpose i.e to worship ALLAH and to serve HIS trust i.e to administer this world according to the HIS guidance. Both these are two fold and yes, now we see a chaotic world but we shouldn't sit down and wailed over it.
Instead we should all be trying our best to put humanity to the right path, it's not just my duty but it's the duty of all of us, Muslims, who are handed down this trust. This is an amanah Brother, it doesn't matter whether we succeeded or failed, because even if we failed after trying, ALLAH will still confer HIS rewards on us.
But never do I ever think that we have failed, there are still millions more Muslims praying and seeking guidance from ALLAH and trying to live up according to HIS guidance. We have made inroads everywhere, including Europe and I was one of the products of such inroads.
Even in the differefnt times of almost every messengers of ALLAH, there were problems confranting them. But never were they in despair because they knew that they had ALLAH to turn to. Prophet Luth ( Luth - peace be upon him ) had to confrant gayism in his community but he didn't move an inch from his divine duties. So so did Moses ( a.s ) Jesus ( a.s ) and our beloved Muhammad ( s.a.w ).
We are the continuing bear of the Divine trust and let's keep trying.....
sister this is the most wondreful artical . i've looking for the same person all my life .but still non chance. but i have faith in allah. it's only a nasseb , don't give up ,your day is comming
EVERY ACTION IS FAKE. PEOPLE ARE PRETENTIOUS.
IT'S (LOVE) ALL ABOUT WHO HAS MORE MONEY, WEALTH, and BIGGER HOUSE and BIGGER CARS.
ALL SO CALLED PIOUS PEOPLE ARE OSTENTATIOUS AND HYPOCRITES.
MORE WEALTH = MORE LOVE FOR YOU.
(I ,H.A., HATE TO GET MARRIED OR FALL IN LOVE. I WISH I COULD REMAIN UNINVOLVED WITH HUMANS or AVOID ACTIVITIES OF PROCREATION). THIS IS NOT BECAUSE I GOT DUMPED, BUT BECAUSE I AM NOT JEALOUS OF ANYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE . I AM A MAN and I KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MYSELF.
I AM NEITHER ATTACTED TO "CIVILIZED FLUID" aka BOOZE NOR TO FREEDOM FRIES. And NOR TO THE Millions of SLUTS in the WEST and many thousands living in MUSLIM COUNTRIES.
In conclusion, HUMAN BEINGS are a disgusting and sick creature. EVEN GOD FEELS, HE MADE A BIG MISTAKE CREATING HUMANS.
THIS IS THE TRUTH. IF ANYONE HAS HARD TIME SWALLOWING THIS TRUTH, THAT'S JUST TOO BAD. JUST FIND A RANCH AND FEED COWS TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER - BEST MECHANISM TO RELIEVE YOUR ANGER after 9/11.