I seem to be meeting two different types of men.The first type is the extremely religious-almost-everything-is-haram man. They all look the same; same fist-long beard, same white hat that hides a mass of hair, same shaved mustache and white trousers with a long white shirt that goes over the knees. I don't believe these kind of men are "extremists" or "terrorists" just because they live like that.
If he is interested in you he will get to know you by introducing himself to your family and have frequent meetings with you all together, probably with his family involved too. During these informal "meetings" you'll probably learn his "everything-is-haram" views.
Then there is the second type of man. The "part-time Muslim". The almost-everything-is-halal man. He is liberal in his beliefs, does not really pray, may drink alcohol, thinks it's fine to hang out with his "girl friends" and thinks the first type of man explained above is an extremist. If he's interested in you he will think that dating is an essential part in getting to know you.
That means you and him should be alone. He thinks it is great that you wear the hijab, because he wants to show off to his family and friends that he has landed himself a religious wife. This is also quite suffocating.
I'm not interested in either of these types of men that I've met. There is however a third type of man (there could be a fourth and fifth but I don't have time). They are in the middle-ground of the two men described above. They are not too strict and they are not too loose. They are just right. I've seen some American Muslims and Canadian Muslims who are "just right", so I know they do exist. But of course marriage is naseeb. You can't ask why it didn't work out, that's just destiny for you.
But they are out there. They are lovely men with beautiful personalities, they have the faith in their hearts and minds and they live life to their fullest potential. They make you laugh, they don't have complex personalities due to cultural baggage. They would never oppress you. They would want to love you for the rest of their lives.
They would regard you as an equal.
I wonder if there's more of them in stock somewhere ... because it seems some of us have missed out on a "available for a limited-time only."
The writer of this blog writes under the pen name Unique Muslimah. Unique's blog opened back in February 2007, when she decided it was time she wrote on issues she felt passionate about. Unique Muslimah writes to you from the West but spends most of her time traveling to other countries and blogging about her experiences.
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