Working my way up to Islam

I never thought much about Islam until September 11, I was a Lutheran.  A Sunday School teacher, Bible School teacher, Member of the Board of Education, Children's Music Director, Church Councilperson and Church Librarian.  I thought I was pretty convinced about how I felt, religiously. September 11 brought Islam to my attention, but it also frightened me, so I began studying Judaism, thinking I would work my way up to Islam.

My reading about Judaism convinced me of the Oneness of God, and I realized I wasn't exactly a Christian any more. Yet Judaism's extreme disrespect for Jesus bothered me a lot.  I no longer felt he was divine, yet I couldn't just negate his very existence - it seemed to me he had done something important, and had been sent into the world for some reason.

So I was struggling - I wasn't a Christian but I wasn't a Jew, either, and never could be one.  I didn't want to be a Noachide, I was so lost and frightened.  I kept saying to God, "You must have led me to this for a reason, and it's not my fault I can't be a Jew - what is it You WANT from me?!"

My sister, who has been close to me all my life and knows me better than anyone, had been hearing Muslims speak on television in the aftermath of 9/11. She kept trying to make me study Islam.  She kept telling me I was a Muslim, I just didn't know it - she, herself, is a Christian, so I found it strange she was so sure I was a Muslim.  But, Praise be to Allah, I finally listened to her and began studying.

I read books and talked to people and every moment I kept finding just what my heart was hungering for.  Suddenly I knew the answer to my question, and everything I learned seemed right to me.  So I said Shahada and continued learning.  Now I am happy and fulfilled.  I have value and worth, I know where I belong, and why I am here.  I love to wear hijab, I love my daily prayers, I love learning Arabic and studying the Qur'an.  This is what I was looking for all my life - the way to submit to Allah.