During the month of May, most countries around the world celebrate Mother’s Day. While debates continue over whether this celebration was created for commercial purposes or whether it aligns with Islamic principles, the purpose of this article is solely to explore some of the significant roles played by mothers in our lives, particularly from the Islamic perspective.

In most religious traditions around the world, mothers occupy an honoured position. Although it is the man who initiates the process of conception, it is the woman who undergoes pregnancy and all the discomfort that comes with it for nine months or more.

What a pregnant mother endures in the labour room is something not fully understood by many, particularly men. Those who have been present during childbirth may have had the chance to witness the immense suffering endured by their wives.

Yet, a mother’s sacrifice does not end with the birth of her child. Upon delivering her baby, often described allegorically as her "bundle of joy", a mother, in all her happiness, forgets the pain and discomfort she experienced over the past nine months.

Throughout her life, a mother faces numerous challenges, and in recognition of this, Islam grants her a status that surpasses even that of the father. In fact, the mother's position is considered three times higher than that of the father.

According to a well-known Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) was once asked who should be honoured most after Allah and His Messenger. He replied, “Your mother,” and repeated it three times before mentioning the father.

At another time, the Prophet (SAW) said, “Paradise lies under the feet of mothers.” Gaining the pleasure of a mother pleases Allah the Almighty. Conversely, when one displeases his or her mother, Allah is not pleased with such a person.

When that happens, one is not blessed in this life. For this reason, when things go wrong between a Muslim and his or her mother, the individual should seek forgiveness from the mother immediately.

Besides the Hadith, the Qur’an also contains numerous verses that emphasise the importance of honouring parents, with special reverence for mothers. Below are some Qur’anic references that highlight this honour and respect:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and to parents, good treatment. If one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [even] 'uff' (a word of irritation), and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word” (Surah Al-Isra, 17:23).

“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, increasing her in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination” (Surah Luqman, 31:14).

“We have commanded people to honour their parents. Their mothers bore them in hardship and delivered them in hardship. Their ˹period of˺ bearing and weaning is thirty months. In time, when the child reaches their prime at the age of forty, they pray, ‘My Lord! Inspire me to ˹always˺ be thankful for Your favours which You blessed me and my parents with, and to do good deeds that please You. And instill righteousness in my offspring. I truly repent to You, and I truly submit ˹to Your Will” (Surah Al-Ahqaf, 46:15).

The Central Role Occupied by Mothers

Though men may rule the world, it is often women who govern the home. The mother in the household stands as a symbol of love, kindness, self-sacrifice, selflessness, and altruism. In most cases, she is the anchor and peacekeeper of the family.

As a stabilizing force, the mother frequently mediates between the husband and the children. In many Asian communities, it is still common for children to seek their needs and gain their father’s approval through their mother. Having carried her children in the womb during gestation, she forms a unique and profound bond with them.

Born of her own flesh and blood, she understands them more intimately than the father does. Ideally, she serves as a role model for her daughters.

A mother often tries to win the hearts of those around her, especially her husband and children, through her culinary skills. This brings to mind the saying: "The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach".

In discussing the role of women and mothers, I am reminded of Freud’s condescending views. It is quite ironic to read such views from the founding father of the psychoanalytic movement, who, during his professional career, made many disparaging statements about women.

According to him, women are inferior to men because they did not contribute significantly to human civilisation beyond plaiting hair, weaving, and performing other domestic crafts.

He viewed men as the superior species, being the inventors, discoverers, philosophers, and artists. To add insult to injury, Freud claimed that women, more than men, are prone to psychological issues throughout their lives.

Despite having made many belittling remarks about women, Freud candidly admitted that, after more than thirty years of studying the human psyche, he still could not understand what women truly want in life. With this statement, Freud acknowledged his failure to grasp the essence of a woman's inner world.

In the Modern World

As the world advances in science and technology, young people today are increasingly immersed in virtual environments, surrounded by electronic gadgets and constant digital communication.

This deep engagement with the cyberworld often distracts them from the practical realities of everyday life. One of the significant consequences of this trend is a growing neglect of traditional values, particularly the importance of showing due respect to parents, which is increasingly overlooked by youth in many parts of the world.

The more serious concern is when parents are placed in old folks'; homes and only visited once in a while. In today’s world, a mother who once cared for, nursed, and taught values to her many children is now neglected or left in a care facility, with the excuse that the children are too busy chasing after careers and wealth.

In Islam, regardless of the situation, children are obligated to care for their parents, especially when they are sick or have reached old age. The following verse from Surah Al-Isra clearly explains how children should care for and pray for their parents:

“And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small” (17:24). 

The obligation of children toward their parents does not end when the parents depart from this world; it continues even after their death. In the following Hadith, the Holy Prophet (SAW) mentioned that the supplications of pious children for their parents are accepted in the sight of Allah: “When a person dies, his deeds end except for three: ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him” (Sahih Muslim).

Take-Home Message

In light of the emphasis placed in the Qur’an and Sunnah on caring for one’s parents, Muslim communities, regardless of where they live, should give serious attention to this responsibility. Young Muslims, in particular, should demonstrate kindness and greater patience toward their elderly and ailing parents, especially those who are bedridden. For those whose parents have passed away, they can continue to honour them by praying to Allah for their forgiveness and asking that their blessed souls be placed among the righteous and those nearest to Him.

The views expressed are those of Dr. Mohd Abbas Abdul Razak, Department of Fundamental and Interdisciplinary Studies, AHAS KIRKHS, IIUM, and do not necessarily reflect the views of IslamiCity.