Groups : Women (Sisters) - The wedding ceremony

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The wedding ceremony

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Groups : Women (Sisters)
Forum Description: Groups : Women (Sisters)
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=7723
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Topic: The wedding ceremony

Posted By: nwelcome
Subject: The wedding ceremony
Date Posted: 01 December 2006 at 7:49am

Hello, I'm a new Muslim and I'm getting married. I was raised Christian and need to know how close to that type of ceremony can it be. I know the general overview of it but I need details. How formal should it be? Can my guests (Muslim and Non) party together at the reception? What kind of music can be played? Do my guests have to comform to "dress code"? My Mom wants me to have 2 weddings so she can be a part of it. That's a bit excessive but how do I make her happy and still keep it Islamic? Oh, and what about the exchanging of rings?

Help

Replies:

Posted By: lulu7
Date Posted: 04 December 2006 at 6:36pm

Well--I can some what relate. My marriage was mixed actually. I had all of our similiar friends there and families. Our vows were done the muslim way, rings were exchanged actually after the vows were made, we almost forgot!!! We had both types of music, english and arabic music and dancing. And both Muslims and Non-Muslims did party together. The guests dressed formally yet there were a few who did wear shorter dresses but was overlooked. My mother too, wanted a "just non-muslim" wedding and yes, we did have our arguements, husbands come first!!! Yeah, even to this day my mother sometimes doesnt quite understand all the culture I do try to explain but you can only do so much. And I have been married 10 years. But do your best and Allah will do the rest, it's all in his hands anyway. May you be happy and a lifetime of happiness.

Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 05 December 2006 at 9:45am

I guess the question is: do you want to know what is Islamically acceptable? Or what have people done culturally that is not necessarily Islamic?

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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

Posted By: nwelcome
Date Posted: 05 December 2006 at 4:01pm

Thanks, Lulu. I do want to know what is Islamically acceptable though. I want my friends and family to enjoy themselves but I want it to be pleasing to Allah even more. I just want to know how much of what I'm used to can I incorporate in to this wedding?

Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 06 December 2006 at 9:55am

well is dancing Islamic?? I have never heard that it is.. especially in mixed company. I may be wrong.. but to do it Islamic you would not have dancing.. at least I think. Someone with knowledge much better then mine could answer.

Music.. hmm.. i think drumming is alright.. me I could never be into all that pomp and stuff. Doa ceremony, and eat a lot of good food...

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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

Posted By: charmsahead
Date Posted: 07 December 2006 at 4:26pm

Assalamualikum

hmmm...from what i've heard before, dancing is alright but when it's separate, like the girls can dance by themselves in a separate place from the guys. But I guess it kind of depends on your culture as well, like in some communities, there is no mixing of families in the wedding, but in some cultures, the families can mix together and have a co-ed wedding, where the guy's family as well as the girl's family are there.

But yea, I don't know anything else about that...

I also had a question...I grew up in America, but my parents are from India...I've always wanted a white wedding (i guess from the culture that i grew up with), but my mom is against me wearing white on my wedding, she says it's a very sad color and that i should dress up like the traditional Indian bride with a red dress. I heard the wearing white was sunna in a wedding...or something, can somebody clarify please.

THanks, Idna

Allah Hafiz

Posted By: niqab_ummi
Date Posted: 11 December 2006 at 5:04am

Assalamu'Alaikum Dear Sisters,

Insha'Allah I hope this is helpful but please don't take this the wrong way this is simply how I was married.

I converted to Islam 18 almost 19 years ago and have been married for 17 years.

We had an Islamic wedding.

Meaning there was no mixing of men or women at the wedding my family was not there they were not muslim although the masjid may allow them you'd have to check into it. I did have an authorized male representative with the men to speak for me.

A muslim wedding in the masjid is like this the women are with the women and the men with the men no dancing no western traditions etc. it is an Islamic wedding.

In the mens section the Imaam will ask who is presenting you for marriage a male family member or representative will stand up and go up with the spouce and his father.

As far as the marriage license that was done before the wedding in our residence with the Imam with witness's.

so we had a nice meal prayed salat, read quran etc....normal or typical ceremony at a certain point walked outside the masjid met and left together husband and wife.

That was my Islamic wedding depending on country and culture it may vary.

The important thing to remember is that you were muslim before you got married and after no where in the Quran or Sunnah does it say to unveil yourself and have mixing of men and women.

Again please don't take this the wrong way but that is a basic overview of what an Islamic wedding is. You can speak with your masjid and take the Imams advice on the ceremony as well.

MasSalaama,

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Umm Abdelkhalek

Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 11 December 2006 at 11:06am

Thank you niqab_ummi. That actualyl souhnds like the best wedding.. less stressful and easier to plan

Also, would you say that extravagance is frowned upon? Would that be considered wasteful?

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When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

Posted By: niqab_ummi
Date Posted: 11 December 2006 at 12:33pm

Assalamu'Alaikum Sisters and Sister Hayfa,

Also, would you say that extravagance is frowned upon? Would that be considered wasteful?

My wedding was very basic we didn't want or could we afford just starting out all of the frills....

But I would have to say that a lot of the money does go to food portion of it you are feeding the guests on the mens and womens side and anyone in the masjid community that comes for salat and would like to stay as well....

My Jilbab was made by a friend of mine it was a very simple design and was made from satin and was very pale yellow. But some of the wedding jilbabs that I've seen sisters wear with the hijab are quite detailed very fancy my hijab just had light beading....so I think from that stand point it could be very expensive. It's also nice to spend less on the actual wedding and have a little more to set up your home.

MasSalaama

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Umm Abdelkhalek

Posted By: sabo85
Date Posted: 03 November 2010 at 5:27am

Hello. I'm living in Ukraine and my marriage was also mixed. We had friends of Muslims and Christians. Our vows were done the muslim way, rings were exchanged actually after the vows were made, we almost forgot!!! We had both types of music, english and arabic music and dancing.