Family Matter - Parents want to divorce

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Parents want to divorce

Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Religion - Islam
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Questions realted to familly matter.
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=45390
Printed Date: 07 June 2024 at 6:55pm
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Topic: Parents want to divorce

Posted By: Mira21
Subject: Parents want to divorce
Date Posted: 20 December 2021 at 1:02pm

Assalam aleikum,

I am 26 years old and live with my familiy in Germany. I am finishing my Master and today had a halftime job offer as teacher which I am going to accept.

My parents are fighting and my mum wants a divorce. The problem is, my father doesn't work, my mother does. He is a stay at home dad. So today he came to me and told me, that as I am working, him and I can move out and rent an apartment and my mum can live with my other 3 brothers in our current apartment. He said the same thing to my younger brother (22) who is already working but and has already everything planned to go in February for a vacation.

I don't want to move in with him oder my mum. If I could and if it weren't for my youngest brother I would move out and let them fight their own fight. But they aren't fighting fair. Both are trying to get us on their own side and I am not strong enough for this whole thing. If I told them I want to move out, I know what my dad would do.

What are the islamic rules concerning this topic? I would give my dad the money to move out but I know that he will never speak to me again because he will say I wasn't a good daughter to him and that I am just as bad as my mum. If I move out with him, my mum will say the same thing to me.

I don't want to get involve but they don't understand. I am so tired of everything. Because of them I am always sitting in my room. Trying to minimize the contact to them and at the same time be a good daughter.
I really need help, because my dad always says read the quran to prove that he is the one who is in the right. And my mum starts to cry which I can't handle.

Thank you in advance and excuse my bad English.

Replies:

Posted By: Dr. Aslam
Date Posted: 11 January 2022 at 3:44pm

Wa alaikum,

Sorry to hear about the mess you are going through.

1. Your parents have to resolve their differences. You or your brothers did not create them and you are not responsible for them.

2. You have your own life. Focus on your life. You should tell both of them that you are not a party to either, and they have to resolve their differences.

3. Tell them you love both of them, and you will fulfil your responsibilities towards them by being respectful to both of them.

4. If that means you and your brothers have to move out, do that.

5. You are an adult and should start taking responsibility of your actions.

May Allah protect you and your family.

Aslam Abdullah

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Best Regards,
Aslam Abdullah