Why did the football coach send in his second string?
To tie up the game!

Why do soccer players have so much trouble eating popcorn balls?
They think that they can't use their hands.

Did you hear about the karate expert who joined the Army?
The first time he saluted, he cracked his helmet.

Why did the basketball wear a bib?
So it wouldn't dribble.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.

FOOTBALL PLAYER: Coach, my doctor says I can't play football.
COACH: You didn't have to go to a doctor. I could have told you that.