How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red
light., but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can
control how you react.
Let's use an example. You are eating breakfast with
your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.
You haveno control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will
be determined by how you react. You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for
knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to
your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the
table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish
breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave
immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After
a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your
daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the
office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started
terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to
coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship
with your spouse and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the
coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause
it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D. You had no control over what
happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your
bad day. Here is what could have and should have happened. Coffee splashes over
you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just
need,to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After
grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time tolook
through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and
waves.You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss
comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference? Two different scenarios. Both
started the same. Both ended different. Why? Because of how you REACTED. You
really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was
determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10
principle.
If
someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack
roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect
you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result
in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?
Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the
steering wheel fall off) Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do
you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why
let the cars ruin your drive? Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry
about it.
You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and
get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding
another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your
schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She
has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the
other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you
know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You
will lose nothing if you try it.
The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply
this principle. The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved
stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in
life. Bad days follow bad days. Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.
There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes
time. Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the
fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel. Does this
describe you? If so, do not be discouraged .
You can be different! Understand and apply the
90/10 principle. It will change your life.