Do our personalities radiate energies?
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Topic: Do our personalities radiate energies?
Posted By: Nausheen
Subject: Do our personalities radiate energies?
Date Posted: 27 October 2012 at 9:26am
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Im posting this in general because its a non-religious type of question, and would like everyone to share their veiws. If we had a psychology board this might have gone there. I did not believe until now that we have a certain type of energies which we impart when meeting/interacting with people. Is it true that people, despite their intention give away a certain type of energy, that affect us? Im asking this because recently I ve met a sister - a very pious muslim sister, who does nothing offensive, is rather kind and genuine whenever we meet - but ive experienced everytime after our meeting I feel going low spirited (for lack of better term). Either I end up depressed, or tardiness, lazyness towards my routine work, or a general slowness creeps into me ... not sure what exactly is the problem, but usually one feels happy after socializing - especially when the meeting has gone smoothly - so why do I feel a loss of spirits after meeting this particular person? Silly question! any takers
 ------------- <font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
Replies:
Posted By: hakeema
Date Posted: 27 October 2012 at 1:19pm
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As-Salaam Alaikum,
Yes in my opinion. Maybe it is something off about her. It could be that she is the type of person who is needy, like to put a damper on our folks lives or cause problems. Hakeema |
Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 27 October 2012 at 6:25pm
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Thank you Hakeema. I dont think she likes to or wants to make me feel the way I do. To me she seems very genuine and sincere in her friendship - still I end up feeling despirited, tired and spent after spending time with her. I dont have too many muslim friends here, so I was happy to find her, however after these experiences im considering to stay away - not sure if this is a trick of the shaytan to keep me away from spending time with muslims or what. Quite confused because this had never happened before. ------------- <font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 28 October 2012 at 7:26am
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�A�oodhu bi kalimaat Allaah al-taammaati min
sharri maa khalaq (I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allaah from the evil
of that which He has created).� (Narrated by Muslim, al-Dhikr wa�l-Du�aa,
4881) It was narrated that Ibn �Abbaas (may Allaah
be pleased with them both) said: �The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) used to seek refuge with Allaah for al-Hasan and al-Husayn. He said:
�Your father [i.e., Ibraaheem] used to seek refuge with Allaah for Ismaa�eel
and Ishaaq with these words: A�oodhu bi kalimaat Allaah al-taammah min kulli
shaytaanin wa haammah wa min kulli �aynin laammah (I seek refuge in the perfect
words of Allaah, from every devil and every poisonous reptile, and from every
bad eye).��(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, Ahaadeeth al-Anbiyaa�, 3120). |
Posted By: nothing
Date Posted: 28 October 2012 at 7:38pm
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If I am not mistaken there was hadith that prohibit us from discussing religion in the day of Eid and in the wedding ceremony. It is obvious for us now though that it would ruin the happy mood. The problem with many pious muslims is many of them lack the skill to interact with people with different personalities and different situations. On the opposite side what we need in some occasions is not religious advice but few words from people out there who can cheers up even the grumpy people. I think, maybe, her seriousness in deen effects you. So - what do you reckon. |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 29 October 2012 at 8:02am
Let me know when you find the hadith.
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nothing wrote:Posted By: hakeema
Date Posted: 29 October 2012 at 3:51pm
As-Salaam Alaikum, Oh OK. But step back and just keep your eyes open. Hakeema |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 30 October 2012 at 12:58am
The answer is YES personalities DO radiate energies. For example, when you meet somebody for the first time, instinctlvely you either like that person or you do not. Sometimes even without the other person uttering a single word. In this particular situation, however, it looks like the problem is 'within yourself.' If the sister is a - a very pious muslim sister, who does nothing offensive, is rather kind and genuine whenever we meet - then I would say the problem lies with you. Of course, noboby could pinpoint the exact cause but there are many possibilities such as satan's wiswas your realisation that you are not possibly not good enough as the sister's piousness etc. A very long shot to your problem could be the country in which you are living. When I go back to the UK I find that it is very difficult to practice your deen as there are so many distractions. I am in a country where I can just walk into a masjid whenever I hear the Adhan and pray the obligatory prayers, Alhamdulilah. You have to find out what makes your iman strong and keep doing that as many times as possible. Sometimes in my case, just listening to a Surah in Arabic on youtube lifts up my spirits :) If all of the above is not helpful in any way, then seek professional help :P Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) Saying: Souls are troops collected together and those who familiarised with each other (in the heaven from where these come) would have affinity, with one another (in the world) and those amongst them who opposed each other (in the Heaven) would also be divergent (in the world). Sahih Muslim
Narrated Aishah (ra): I heard the Prophet (  ), "Souls are like recruited troops: Those who are like qualities are inclined to each other, but those who have dissimilar qualities, differ."
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Posted By: Matt Browne
Date Posted: 30 October 2012 at 8:01am
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I don't think that there is something off about the pious sister and I don't think that she is the type of person who
is needy. As Nausheen described it, she is very genuine and sincere in her friendship. There is a scientific explanation for your low spirited feelings. Professional psychologists call it negative mystery moods. There are plenty of articles about the phenomenon. Here are two examples: http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/mystmood.htm - http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/mystmood.htm http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-just-happened - http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-just-happened 'Have you ever been in a bad mood that you couldn't explain and wondered what put you in a funk? Tanya Chartrand, a researcher at Ohio State University found that such negative mystery moods can occur when people fail at a goal that they didn't even know they had. Tanya Chartrand, assistant professor of psychology, said such nonconscious goals can have significant effects on how we feel and act, and even on how well we achieve other goals. "If you succeed at a goal you didn't know you had, you're in a good mood and don't know why," Chartrand said. "But if you fail at a nonconscious goal, you're put into this negative mystery mood." Non-conscious goals (those of which we are not aware) can put us in positive or negative mystery moods. A non-conscious goal might be one that has become so automatic you do not even realize you are still pursuing it.' Now the question is: What is your non-conscious goal? I can only speculate. You have to look into your goals. Perhaps you like to be more pious when you practice your religion, but sometimes you fail? Perhaps the pious sister is more disciplined and this is your goal too. ------------- A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt |
Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 31 October 2012 at 8:09am
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Thank you everyone for the inputs. Thank you for the duas from AbuAisha, Hadith from Abu Loren, links from Matt Browne and all the general advise. Perhaps something is wrong with me. Analysing myself :- Ive just finished a 45 mins online Quran lesson, in which we looked into just three verses - primarily talking about the worth of this world in comparison to the hereafter. I do not feel any despiritedness or tiredness. Im happy when I do these lessons. Alahmdulillah. Its not just religious talk that pulls me down or makes me sad. I dont know if its her approach to religion and Allah which has this affect on me. One thing I know for sure is - she lives 15km away whcih means I have to drive back and forth all this way to meet and I hate driving. My head starts spinning when Im at the wheel for so long - that too in busy traffic. That could be one reason. Another is - I do not intend to go for a dars but whatever we talk is only religious talk - how could this be tiring - Im ashamed of myself, but there is no light hearted conversation. She is more pious definitely, and I need to work better on myself to be like her, as Matt pointed out. My goals are similar. It could be that Im disappointed with myself after meeting her. Should this not motivate me to work better? The effect s oposite though. I had discussed this with my mother who said perhaps the shaytan is at work here - I should oppose my nafs and meet her more. Though my nafs is telling me to avoid her. Im situated in Japan. I cannot walk into a mosque to pray, but the natural beauty here automatically attracs one to the spiritual side. We live in countryside.There are lots of woods, and mountains - very little distraction. In fact if I drive into the woods, can find plenty of serene spots to sit and enjoy nature - very comforting. Im thinking, it could be that Im depressed otherwise - some things are quite stressful at the moment. should this affect how I feel with a particular person? One of the suggestions here was to do that which lifts my spirits - its a drive into the nature, and studying the Quran. I will try and do this more and let you know inshAllah. Jazakum Allahu khairan ------------- <font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
Posted By: abuayisha
Date Posted: 31 October 2012 at 9:08am
| Wow, what a blessing and comfort it must be to have a mother to speak with. Indeed my life at times is also very stressful, and I take great solace from just hearing my mom's voice. Anyway, Nausheen, know that we love you for the sake of Allah - wishing you good in this life and the next. Don't be too hard on yourself. |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 31 October 2012 at 10:00am
What I've noticed is that you haven't mentioned a husband or children. Loneliness can also lead to depression, human beings aren't meant to be alone, the reason why Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala created mates for us. No offence, but from the outside it looks like you are a career woman. What happens to career women is that when they get old they look back at their life and say to themself "if only I did this or that...". If you indeed are single, find a man, get married and start a family. That's probably the blessing that you are looking for Insha'Alla.
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Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 31 October 2012 at 5:58pm
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Thank you AbuAyisha,
Indeed my mother is a blessing, alhamdulillah.
The dua for the one who says what you said is ... May He love you for whose sake you love me, ameen.
Abu Loren, thank you for your kind words. You make me smile! ------------- <font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Matt Browne
Date Posted: 01 November 2012 at 5:31am
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You should treasure your career and a life of learning, Nausheen. Everything else will fall into place. A lot of women become depressed from having married a dominant husband trapped in dark ages thinking. ------------- A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 01 November 2012 at 5:36am
No amount of learning nor a high flying career can beat a fulfilling and wholesome family life, where the wife happily looking after the home and children, listening to her husband with wide adoring eyes and obeying his every command. This is the proper relationship structure between a man and a woman. If you are happy with a woman wearing the trouers at home then that tells me you are not a real man.
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Posted By: Matt Browne
Date Posted: 06 November 2012 at 7:10am
Well, my friend, I recommend building a time machine, which will allow you to travel back to the dark ages. I prefer the 21st century. And most smart Muslim women do so too. ------------- A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 07 November 2012 at 1:53am
Funnily enough the Prophet of God Muhammad (pbuh) prophecied about this where men will listen to women who will rule them and control them. You are right when you say smart Msulim women prefer the 21st century as many millions of Muslimah's are turning away from Islam and following the ways of the kufr. They are so in love with the Western culture and what this dunya has to offer them. This has also been prophecied. If men being men and women being women and they live the way God intended them to be then yes a return to the dark ages is preferable than living against the commandment of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. You have no idea how Muslims should live and be pleasing to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala.
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Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 07 November 2012 at 3:17am
I just dont understand the context of this post. Hope am wrong ... if you are saying that a working woman has left islam, or she is following the western culture, could you please explain how. >>You are right when you say smart Msulim women prefer the 21st century as many millions of Muslimah's are turning away from Islam and following the ways of the kufr.<< Ways of the kufr? the point of difference between the two of you was - either to start a family or continue to keep a career. Firstly I dont understand how its not possible for a woman to do both at the same time. And, if she is doing either of the two, how is that kufr - is it not going a bit overboard with the whole concept? >>If men being men and women being women and they live the way God intended them to be then yes a return to the dark ages is preferable than living against the commandment of Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. You have no idea how Muslims should live and be pleasing to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala.<< In Islam a woman is allowed to earn, keep and spend her money whichever way she likes. This means she is allowed to persue a career, have a business,go for higher studies and cultivate her individuality as she pleases, as long as she is within the bounds of the sharia. Being a woman does not mean she must sit at home and make babies only!! Kadijah radiallahu anha was a wealthy business woman who proposed our holy prophet when he (sallallahu alaihi wassallam) was an employee in her business! Were gender roles swithched in their scenario?? Whatever you are talking, I hope you make it more clear. jazak Allahu khair ------------- <font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
Posted By: hakeema
Date Posted: 07 November 2012 at 4:41am
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As-Salaam alaikum,
"Funnily enough the Prophet of God Muhammad (pbuh) prophecied about this where men will listen to women who will rule them and control them". Where was this stated at? What problem do you have with husbands consulting and talking to their wives about things? What problems do you have with men seeking advice from their wives? How does that make him less than a man? Why the assumption that just because a man is seeking advice from his wife that his wife is controlling him? What problems do you have with women who have opinions and ideas about things? I got more questions but I will ask later. Hakeema |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 07 November 2012 at 8:15am
First of all we are careering off course from the original thread. Secondly, I posted something about career women and Matt Browne reckons that people who believe like that should go back to the Middle Ages. Of course a working woman has not left Islam, that is so silly. By following the Western culture I mean that those Muslimah's who forsake their daily prayers and date and go to night clubs etc etc etc
Same example as above following their peers in the West.
Of course I agree with everything you say. What I meant was those men who let their wives be the 'man of the house'. They follow their wives direction rathan than taking control as head of the household.
No Khadijah (RA) didn't dominate her husband, she bahaved as a wife should by being a faithful and devoted wife.
I hope that is clear. |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 07 November 2012 at 11:12am
Narrated Ibn 'Abbas: The Prophet ( ) cursed women who imitate men and men who imitate women.Ibn 'Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) said: The Prophet ( ) said, "O women folk! You should give charity and be diligent in seeking Allah's forgiveness because I have seen (i.e., on the Night of the Ascension to the highest heavens) that dwellers of the Hell are women." A woman amongst them said: "Why is it that the majority of the dwellers of Hell are women?" The Prophet () replied, "You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. In spite of your lacking in wisdom and failing in religion, you are depriving the wisest of men of their intelligence." Upon this the woman asked: "What is the deficiency in our wisdom and in our religion?" He () replied, "Your lack of wisdom can be well judged from the fact that the evidence of two women is equal to that one man. You do not offer Salat (prayer) for some days and you do not fast (the whole of) Ramadan sometimes, it is a deficiency in religion."Musllim
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah(s.a.w) said: "When your leaders are the best of you, the richest are the most generous among you, and your affairs are consulted among you, then the surface of the earth is better for you than its belly. And when your leaders are the worst of you, the richest are the stingiest among you, and your affairs are referred to your women, then the belly of the earth is better for you than its surface."
All I'm saying here is that women should know their place which is beside their husbands obeying and supporting.
Absolutely nothing. As long as she doesn't control her husband.
Again nothing. As long as he doesn't become a slave to the wife.
I'm not assuming anything. A woman should know her place.
Absolutely nothing.
Looking forward to them. |
Posted By: Abu Loren
Date Posted: 07 November 2012 at 11:29am
Yes it is against Islamic principles for a women to control the household. The man or the husband is the head of the household and all decisions should be taken by him alone, the wife should obey and follow his decisions. The reverse of this is not permitted in Islam.
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Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 07 November 2012 at 3:50pm
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Thank you for making things clear. I guess you were provoked by the time machine suggestion and perhaps made an overgenralized comment against every 21st century career woman - that was what worried me. I agreed with your original suggestion, and also agree with your clarifications. As for your comment on the man should make all decisions in the household - you've got to admit some men do not have the temperament to do this, for whatever reason - if their wives do not step in there will be more chaos in the family unit than otherwise. Women by nature want to be lead, cared for and protected by someone stronger. But there are men out there who cannot fulfil this role completely. It becomes necessary in such circumstances for the wife to take a stronger stance in decision making otherwise outsiders start controlling their family unit. We have deviated far from the original topic, but it was important to know what was implied in your post. barak Allahu feek ------------- <font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
Posted By: seekshidayath
Date Posted: 08 November 2012 at 11:31am
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As Salamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah
Sis Nausheen,i read this thread very first day you posted and soon a hadith flashed my mind. It was shared by a member here. Would like to share it again Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported in his Saheeh that �Aa�ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: �I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) saying: �Souls are like conscripted soldiers; those whom they recognize, they get along with, and those whom they do not recognize, they will not get along with.�� (Saheeh al-Bukhaari, Kitaab Ahaadeeth al-Anbiyaa�, Baab al-Arwaah junood mujannadah). Sorry i could not login again then, but today i found this thread active :) What do you say about this hadith ? ------------- Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: �All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent." |
Posted By: Nausheen
Date Posted: 11 November 2012 at 6:10am
Walaiki assalam wa rahmatullah wa barkatuhu, Jazak Allahu khair for our input. Im not sure if I can relate to the hadith in my situation. Im really scared of doing that - its also said that in solitude ones companion is ones nafs - which is but instigating to evil, so we should always be looking for good company. Another Hadith says a good companion is better than solitude, while solitude is better than bad companion. Since, this person is a good companion - my soul rejecting her is rather an indicator I should reanalyze myself. Don't you think so? Barak Allahu Feeki ------------- <font color=purple>Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.[/COLOR] |
Posted By: Matt Browne
Date Posted: 12 November 2012 at 6:19am
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Just as a reminder, the Prophet's first wife was a successful career woman. There are plenty of examples in the Quran and the Hadith that give men and women equal rights. And there are some of examples in the Quran and the Hadith that give men more rights than women, or even demand that women must obey their husbands. For this reason on the one hand you have Muslim women in Saudi Arabia, parts of Afghanistan, Somalia, Sudan and Nigeria who are controlled by men, denied education, denied equal rights and so forth. On the other hand you have women in Turkey, Malaysia, Indonesia, Tunisia who treasure their career and become professors and successful business women. The same applies to most Muslim women in Western countries. So when I look at the previous posts in this debate, it's basically about these two differing approaches. My wife is a teacher and we raised two children who are both adults now. It is possible to have a career and raise children. ------------- A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt |