Christainwoman,

I am sure that many of the brothers here will respond to your thread, many with great wisdom; however, the person you need to speak with most about this matter is the man that wants to marry you.  You need to find out from him what views he holds with respect to marriage.  It is not enough for him simply to say he is a Muslim.  I strongly suggest you look at some Muslim web sites and listen to the men here and then discuss what you have learned with the man who you are in love with.  Below is a web link to an e-book version of the book Islam in Focus.  It is an excellent book on Islam and it is easy for one who was not raised Muslim to understand.  It will give you basic information and there is a section on marriage.  You can read it on line or download it to your computer.  It was very helpful to me at the time I reverted to Islam.

http://free.freespeech.org/sultan/islaminfocus.pdf#search='Islam%20in%20Focus' - http://free.freespeech.org/sultan/islaminfocus.pdf#search='I slam%20in%20Focus'

PAZ, Khadija

I'll give you my impression and my opinion:

First off, a woman must be first, intelligent beautiful and devoted/serious for a relationship with me. Her goal must be to expand her love of God through Islam and finalize it through the love of marriage. I believe in the trinity of charatcer: Intelligence, devotion (which also includes communition) and beauty. What I mean by devotion is that she must be serious about a marriage. She must know when to take charge and know when to not take charge. I believe that relationships can work this way if both parties are willing to gain and shed power iin certain situations. However this is my own idealistic thought on relationships. I believe that a woman should be beautiful in the sense of personality. It must be colorful.

I dislike women with bagagge as this will bring a relationship down. any woman who continues to dwell on her past relationships will not only continue to dwell on those memories but cannot move forwards in another relationship. I believe the beauty in failure must be that the person has the ability to move forward and learn. I believe intelligence is important because in order to be successful in a marriage a woman must have the intelligence to be responsible enough to sustain her part of a marriage. She must communicate well and must have her own mind. She must be willfully strong in mind, body and soul. I would also like a woman I can be physically attracted to because this I believe is also naturally. However one does not have to look a certain way to be attractive but there must be some physically chemistry nonetheless. This goes both ways.

To me this is what I would like in a woman.

 Asalamu Alaykum

 I think that Brother Israfil explained it beautifully which both woman and man would agree is what makes a marriage work.

mojavaid36 wrote: She should be able to wash, clean cook and iron. period.

So..........you want to be married to your mom?

Lameese

abuabdullah wrote: assalamualaikum generally a man is looking for a woman that dedicates herself in serving her husban.There is a hadeeth when the prophet peace and blessings be upon him said a woman havent giving allah his rights until shes giving her husban his rights.so try to fear allah and master obedience towords your husban...assalamualaikum

Wa alaikum as-Salam

With all due respect, Sura 2, ayat 228 states that women have rights just as men have (even if men might have an 'advantage') -- so I'm not sure that the woman is supposed to be the man's 'slave,' i.e., dedicating her life only to her husband.  Anyways, that's my opinion on that matter.  As far as the qualities of a woman:

Yes, she should be "beautiful," but beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- many physically "beautiful" women are not really what they seem, and many a "plain-looking" woman turns out to be strikingly beautiful: grace, charm, and intelligence are components of overall beauty, but are not physical qualities.  As well, she should be someone willing to work as hard as you to make the relationship a success.  She should be compatible with you -- either as a thinking along the same lines as you or as the complimentary opposite (one willing to give her husband a "reality-check.")  Lastly and finally, the woman one is to marry should at least be respectful of your beliefs (but preferrably she'd be a Muslima.)  I've said enough, hopefully this post will be well-received.

Peace 

How to be an ideal Muslim women/wife .

The following link will give you an idea of what a women should and should not do

http://www.shariahway.com/sisters - www.shariahway.com/sisters

Lameese wrote: mojavaid36 wrote: She should be able to wash, clean cook and iron. period.   So..........you want to be married to your mom?   Lameese

Great!!!!

Eh?!! not of this world?? carrying scars??-

i'm obviously not one of these intelligent women ppl look for!!!!

I seek the heroic woman. The woman who is intelligent, strong, courageous, good looking, etc. I have very high standards but I must work hard to see that I myself am worthy of her.

Far too many in this country get together out of desperation or because they like the ideas of marriage and childbirth.

A good wife, like a good husband, should be devout. That single characteristic guarantees the worthiness of a spouse.

The most foolish path is to select a spouse based upon physical beauty. It is the most transient of human qualities.

You're all a bunch of l***!!!

You all say you're looking for intelligence, devotion etc....all garbage.

Every man wants an attractive woman and couldn't care less about her personality.

L***!!

Megatron wrote: Every man wants an attractive woman and couldn't care less about her personality.

So, its a bimbo that they want ??