divorce
Printed From: IslamiCity.org
Category: Culture & Community
Forum Name: Family Matter
Forum Description: Discuss Family Issues
URL: https://www.islamicity.org/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=15022
Printed Date: 19 April 2024 at 4:25am
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Topic: divorce
Posted By: gajab62
Subject: divorce
Date Posted: 12 July 2009 at 8:10am
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hi all
i am seriously in need of some help!! i am married to a muslim man have been for 6 years now, we have had our ups and down like any couple, but on tuesday 7th july 09 we had a big fight and he has left the marital home. he has informed me he want a divorce but i am not prepared to let our 6 years go just like that. i need to know how i can handle this we were married in Jordan not in the uk. i want a reconcilliation but he wont even answer his phone or text messages, please please help ! |
Replies:
Posted By: Hayfa
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 5:26am
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Welcome to the Forum.. am sorry you are going through these struggles. 1. Give it a little time 2. Are you able to talk to any friends or family of his to let them know your intentions? At some point he will need to talk to you. I do say the worst is to go 'chasing' him. Let him know you want to continue and give hm a bit of space. Have patience... ------------- When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi |
Posted By: gajab62
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 11:56am
| ty i really appreciate your post , i am beside my self i have spoken to one of his best friends out in jordan and i ahve spokent o one of his cousins and i managed to get hold of an immam at the hospital that i work at , he spoke to my husband for 1/2 hr and when he called me back he said ur husband has made up his mind , i will never give up hope even if he divorces me ..nothing is too big for God to deal with. althought mu husband says thats its Gods will for us to split up , i dont believe this at all!! |
Posted By: sophykhan
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 7:07pm
| ??????assaam allykum is there a reason he left .if you need help send bac .like hayfa said give it some time dont worry |
Posted By: ikhwan
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 11:31pm
| Asalamualikum, i would suggest sister that u find out the main reason for the rift and talk to family and friends, in islam divorce is not encouraged and is disliked by Allah. as said above give it some time, if the rift is solved he will inshAllah come to u, have faith in God Almighty Allah and pray to Him. |
Posted By: gajab62
Date Posted: 13 July 2009 at 11:35pm
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i have had a long e.mail from him, saying that he dosnt look at me as a wife anymore, but he wants to be friends! i guess there are many reasons , not all are clear to me , he says that he has an emptyness ..he misses his family, but now after 6 years he says he wants children , he knew 3 years b 4 we got married that there may be a chance that we wont wont be able to have any but he still wantred to marry me! he kept telling that its Gods willing if we have children and Gods willing if we dont , what ever God decides he will accept. i fear that when he went home it was the attacment to his niece that has made him feel like this. i believ he is very depressed but he shut the doors on me and would not talk, i thought it was just the stress of his study , but it seems far deeper than that! i just love him with all my heart and miss him like crazy. i have lost 5 kilo in a week, and i dont have it to lose! i feel i just want to die, he was my life.
i appreciate all your support thanks u so much ! its good to have people who care :) |
Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 5:38am
| Propet Muhammed(SAW) says"The most hated of all permissible things in the sight of Allah is divorce."Abu Dawud no.2178 and Ibn Majah no.2018. |
Posted By: martha
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 5:53am
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Salaams sister,
This is very sad, but don't give up hope. Men sometimes lose sight of what marriage is all about. Try to get as much support from the sisters around you to help you through this and come to IC as often as you feel you are able.
We are with you:) ------------- some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set |
Posted By: Akhe Abdullah
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 6:24am
| Shaytan loves to divide families. |
Posted By: gajab62
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 6:35am
| thank you brother for that quote, i know it, thats why i am trying to reconcile, but at this present time my husband really is adamant that he cant see a way forward with our marriage. i dont know what else to do except leave him now with his thoughts. and his decisions. i Pray that God will show us both the right way to go, He is our only hope of anything in this life., tough as it may be to keep myself alive, i can only trust God to sustain me ...once again thanks |
Posted By: gajab62
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 6:37am
| just read your last post, and yes you are right, and shatan is good at blinding us from is good and right in this life. |
Posted By: gajab62
Date Posted: 14 July 2009 at 6:38am
| Thank you Martha for your kind word :) i live in hope till the end of my days. |
Posted By: Danty
Date Posted: 15 July 2009 at 10:21pm
Qajab, I am sorry that you are going through this difficult time in your life. Sometimes it helps to be separate. Maybe your hus.needs time to breathe and think about his life. Please have patience in this matter. We humans plan things in our lives but Allah (swat) has His own plans. Again, have patience and pray to Allah for His help. Please take care.  ------------- Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said "Be kind, for whenever kindness becomes part of something, it beautifies it.Whenever it is taken from something, it leaves it tarnished." (IMAM BUKHARI) |
Posted By: gajab62
Date Posted: 16 July 2009 at 2:05am
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thankyou danty,
yes i agree with ur advice, i have left him now to his own thoughts and decissions, i am on a rollercoaster of emotions, i cant imagine my life without him in it, but if thats what he has decided and is not prepared to consider marriage guidance to help us then i have to face the rest of life on my own. i have said all i have to say to him, i know that by chasing him is not the answer, he knows how i feel for him and that i would lay down my life for him, but only God knows now how to prepare our hearts for what my husband will decide to do. God is my sustainer , all i can do is pray that my husband finds a way to reconcile ..if not then i have to bear the emotional cost of loss. i will always love him no matter where he is, maybe i will in time be able to love and trust again. i am so grateful for everone who has supported me on here, i will return, hopefully with some good news, only God knows the out come. God bless each of you who have given me advice and caring support. if anyone has some miracle formula it would be gratefully appreciated ..lol doubt that will happen though. thanks all from the depths of heart, Gail xx |
Posted By: fais
Date Posted: 28 September 2009 at 7:38am
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salam sister,
i read your post and can feel it as my wife did the same thing to me,she also says god has decided us to apart and she has made her mind,i begged i cried i requested but nothing made her decision change.please read my post 'i wanna save my marraige in family matters and pray for me as i am going to get divorced soon,i will be forced to utter those 3 words of talaq very soon by my wife.
just pray that i can bear the pain of sepration as i love her with my full heart,i will pray for you too,insha allah will do the best for you and he will come back.
people who wants to depart often give this excuse of allah's will but they dont know i think how hatefull talaq is to allah and if they do nothing to save it insha allah on the day of judgement they will be shamefull.sister your efforts will give you the fruits one day dont worry.plz plz read my post i wanna save my marraige.
regards
Faisal
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